Ice

IceThe guy began to climb into the tree, using the ladder his partner had leaned against the trunk. He stepped up the rungs of the aluminum extension ladder until he reached the point at which the massive trunk split into giant limbs.  Those limbs were no longer vertical like the trunk; they gently bent and tilted upward in the way typical of Arizona ash trees.

Over his left shoulder draped a dirty, turquoise-colored rope, thick as my wrist, stained with mud and grass and bark and sweat.  It was at least 100 feet long.  As he stepped off the ladder onto the trunk, he wrapped his arms around one of the secondary branches, pushing one foot into the joint between the trunk and the largest branch and the other onto the middle of a main branch, which put him in an almost locked position; he couldn’t fall unless he let go.  Then, he threw one end of the rope, which had a metal loop attached to it, up toward a tertiary branch ten or twelve feet above him.    The rope slipped over the branch; the metal loop served as a weight, dragging one end of the rope around the branch and back down to him.  He quickly make some loops with the rope, attached one end of the looped rope to a metal clip attached to his harness, and scampered up higher, to the lower of the broken branches.

Dangling from the right side of his harness was a small, gas-powered chain saw. Once he had a good foothold in the crook where two big branches went their separate ways, wedging his body between branches, he reached down, unclipped the chain saw, and pulled the cord.  It didn’t start.  He pulled it again.  This time, it whined for a moment, then started with a dull buzz that grew louder as he reached up and placed the fast-moving blade against the underside of a broken branch, just under the spot where the wood had splintered and caused the limb to bend sharply down. In an instant, the broken branch fell. What had looked, from the ground, like a rather small limb crashed to the ground with unexpected violence.  It was heavy, very heavy, gouging a deep scar into the ground when it struck.

Quickly, but carefully, he clipped the now silent chain saw back onto the harness, then used the rope to pull himself up a bit higher to another branch.  Bracing himself against a large limb in the middle of the tree, he swung to another large branch to the left.  Once in position, he again pulled the chain saw from his harness, pulled the cord to start it, then sent the broken branches crashing down.

This scene repeated four or five times until all the obvious damage was cut from the tree. He lowered himself from the highest branch to the ground, removed the end of the turquoise rope from his harness, and pulled the rope down from the tree. Once the rope was laying on the ground, he carefully looped it over his left shoulder again, then moved on to the large oak tree.

The limbs on the north side of the oak tree, which just days earlier had rested on the roof of the house, had recovered quite a bit.  But some of the big branches hadn’t just been bent, they had snapped.  Using the same technique he had used on the Arizona ash, the guy pulled himself up to within reach of the places where the wood had been unable to sustain the weight of the ice and had cracked.  Unlike the Arizona ash, the oak still  had most of its leaves, so he was partially hidden among the branches as he thinned the damaged limbs and branches from the tree.

The entire process took about an hour, maybe just a bit more.  If I had been thirty years younger and eighty pounds lighter, I might have undertaken the task myself.  But I was glad to put the job in the hands of very agile guys who knew the intricacies of using gas-powered chain saws while climbing into and out of tall trees.  I paid the guys in cash, $275.  It was half what I would have paid some of the other tree trimmers who are working feverishly to clear out countless broken limbs from thousands of trees damaged by the December 2013 ice storm.

Posted in Weather | 5 Comments

Whispers

Whispers. That’s what we hear when we watch television news or listen to ourselves reading from the New York Times or Chicago Tribune or skim messages from Facebook or Twitter.  These are not proclamations of truth or emphatic pronouncements of fact. They’re rumors and lies given credibility by their medium.

I wonder whether any of the whispers we hear are real.  Are they truth spoken softly? Or do they lead down a path of illusion that will never heal?

Are they wishes or wonder? Do they portend the future, or acknowledge the past?

This evening, for I am writing this late Thursday night only a while before the day ends, may be the time to express the rage I feel at not knowing. But what good will it do to express rage? Will that rage engender enlightenment?  No, it will only build on itself and mask even the gems of truth I might find in the whispers,

I have a theory. Happiness may be found only by discarding the idea that one will ever know whether the whispers offer glimpses of truth.  The other part of the theory is that, even if one knew for a fact the whispers offer glimpses of truth, truth would not bring with it happiness.

Happiness is out there, beyond the whispers.

 

 

Posted in Philosophy | 6 Comments

The Dream

Several weeks ago, I had a very vivid dream.  When I awoke from it, about 4:30 in the morning, I recorded what I remembered of it, which was quite a lot. Here are my recollections.

The Dream
I was riding as a passenger in a car driven by someone who is a friend, someone who lives quite a distance from me.  It was the first time I had been a passenger in his car; his erratic driving surprised me.  We were on a two-lane highway  adjacent to what looked like a seawall to our left.  I couldn’t see a body of water, only sheets of water spilling from the seawall, driven by high wind onto the highway.  It was raining, hard, but the wipers either were not working or he had not turned them on.

As we drove down the highway, he frequently became distracted as he talked, failing to notice the car drift far to the left into the lane of oncoming traffic.  I don’t recall what he was talking about; I was paying attention to his driving.  On several occasions, I said “watch out!” as he crossed into the other lane just as oncoming headlights became visible.

At some point, the seawall on the left disappeared, replaced by what I thought was a wide strip of sand, with commercial buildings, like retail and restaurants, near the water.

Just as the car rounded a curve, I saw the “sand” on the other side of the highway, and just as quickly my friend swerved sharply across the other lane and into gravel, not sand.  At the same time he swerved into the gravel, I saw a car heading in the opposite direction leave the roadway; I yelled “watch out!” again, just as we narrowly missed the car and one immediately behind it, a police car with its red and blue lights flashing.

My memory of what happened next in the dream is incomplete and fuzzy.  Somehow, the scene shifted so that we were on the same gravel beach, but on a road at an entrance onto the highway, near the retail/restaurant area.  My friend’s driving demeanor had changed; he was very, very cautious.  There was plenty of space between us and cars going in both directions, so he could have gotten onto the highway several times, but he seemed to want more space.  The driver of a car behind us started honking, first two short bursts of noise, then sitting on the horn so it made one long, loud, maddening, blaring noise. That prompted my friend to enter the highway, crossing the oncoming lane and into the lane in which we had been traveling.

The irate driver was right behind us, sitting on the horn.  My friend was slow to reach minimal highway speed and did not want to go any faster; the driver behind us was close on our tail.  We could hear the driver and his passenger, a woman, screaming at us, cursing us. The car was inches from my friend’s car; I began screaming back at the drivers, which only escalated the interchange.

I asked my friend if he had a gun; he didn’t answer; instead, he reached in front of me into the glove compartment and drew out a pistol, still in its holster, and started waving it in front of the rear-view mirror.  As he began waving the pistol, I saw a change in my friend’s face that transformed the dream from realistic to surreal. His face became bright red and shiny, like an apple, and his cheeks puffed out, contorting his face into a caricature of itself. White steam started spewing from his ears.  What I saw frightened me, but I smiled and said to him, “Zen,” bringing my hands together, palm side down in front of me, my fingers pointing away from my body, then pivoting my wrists so the fingers of each hand fanned out in opposite directions.  Suddenly, his appearance changed back to normal and he seemed calm.  The car following us backed away, then turned off the highway, the woman in the passenger seat still screaming and giving us the finger as the car turned away.  And there, the dream ends.

 

Posted in Dreams | 4 Comments

Ice Crunch

The streets and sidewalks did not look as slick as they were.  They were  white, streaked in places with grey.  I knew enough that the grey places were probably sleet that had melted to form a sheet of ice, but I thought the white spots were a bit rough and wouldn’t be as slick.

I walked about three blocks—one block west of my house, then turned and walked two blocks down the street behind us—before I gave up.  The white spots were just as slick and treacherous as the grey spots.  The entire landscape was ice.  Even the yards had a hard coating over the grass.  Simply walking on the yards didn’t break the ice—I had to stomp down hard to break through so I could get some traction.

I was careful along the entire route, but having nearly slipped on the ice at least a dozen times, I decided to give up and go home.  I had been hoping to cross Campbell, the major street south of us, and go to CVS to buy some eggs and, perhaps, a few other goodies we hadn’t bought in the pre-storm shopping frenzy. But before I got to Campbell, I decided it would have been crazy to keep going; I had walked well over two-thirds of the way to CVS, but I unwilling to try to make it the rest of the way.  So I turned and retraced my steps toward home.

As I slowly plodded down the sidewalk, I met another walker heading in the opposite direction.  We exchanged pleasantries; his last comment as we passed one another was “just trying to stay alive on these slick streets!”

Half a block further, just before I reached the east-west street that leads to my house a block further, I hit a really vicious slick spot; unlike the other spots where I’d almost slipped and fallen, this one didn’t give me a chance to try to catch myself and regain my balance.  Before I even knew I was slipping, I was on my back and then, a fraction of a second later, the back of my head slammed into the pavement.

The newsboy cap I was wearing flew off my head before I hit the ground, or maybe as my head made contact with the icy street.  The instant my head hit the pavement, I heard a “crack” as if a thick piece of wood broke as it slammed into the back of my head.  I let out a very loud “god damn!” as the pain and embarrassment hit me simultaneously. My head hurt, but my immediate thought was not of the pain, but of the consequences of the fall. Before I even started to get up, I thought to myself, “this might be very, very bad.”  I’d never hit my head so hard; I’d never heard a sound like that.  I reached back to see if there was any blood and was glad there didn’t seem to be any.   I felt for my cap, grabbed it, and put it on.

When I tried to turn onto my side so I could push myself up, my effort to turn over just sent me into a half-spin. I was close enough to the curb that I was able to reach out to stop the spin, then managed to drag myself up on one knee, then stand up.  The street seemed even slicker than before as I began to make my way around the corner; I was afraid I’d fall again, so I gingerly stepped onto the sidewalk but it, too, was incredibly slick.  I managed to get to the yard of the neighbor’s house behind mine, where I slammed my foot down hard enough to get a foothold by breaking through the ice to the grass below.  I walked across the neighbor’s side-yard to the alley behind my house, then crossed the alley slowly to my own yard, where I broke through the half-inch thick glaze with each hard step until I got to the sidewalk in front of my house.  In spite of slipping and sliding, I didn’t go down again; I got to the door, then inside.

By the time I got inside, my head was hurting worse than it had been when I fell.  It wasn’t the sort of external pain I’d expect from crashing into the street; it was an internal headache like nothing I’ve ever had before.  My wife heard me call out to her and helped me get to the couch, where I sat for the next half hour.  She got an ice-pack for the back of my head and two Tylenol, then went on her way; judging from what she said when she came back, I assume she had gone online to figure out what to do. “No alcohol…stay awake…what’s my name?”  Something like that.  She told me she wanted to make sure I wasn’t confused.

I sat there for awhile, then posted on Facebook about my godawful headache and the fall that caused it.  A number of friends commented, saying I should go to the E.R. to get it checked out; I didn’t see most of the comments until awhile later, though, because I had stopped looking at Facebook and was just sitting, dazed.  When I finally got back to read them, I assured everyone my headache was much better and that I’d see someone if things changed.

This morning, I’m doing fine.  My headache has returned, but it’s not nearly as bad.  It may be a sinus headache, anyway, unrelated to the fall.  I don’t even have a knot where my head hit the pavement.  There’s a tender spot and maybe a tiny raised area, but nothing worrying. If I’d had health insurance (and if I’d been carrying my cell phone), I might have called 911 right after the fall, because I was more than a little concerned that I might have cracked my skull, internally.  But after I got home, I decided I didn’t want to incur a huge expense for something that might have been just a nasty bump.  My though about 911 was fleeting; I thought it would be best to panic only AFTER I had symptoms that something was, indeed, wrong.

I did learn a lesson from that unfortunate fall yesterday, and that is not to venture out onto icy streets and sidewalks without appropriate footwear.  By that, I mean shoes with cleats or grips of some kind designed to get traction on ice.  Though my running shoes have deep tread, they are woefully inadequate to take on ice as slippery as I encountered yesterday. I had walked the same street over ice the day before; it was far worse yesterday.  I recognized that from the moment I left my house; if I had been smart, I would have let that serve as guidance to just stay inside.  But I didn’t.  So here we sit, for a third day imprisoned by ice, wishing and waiting for a thaw.

I’m still concerned about my trees and don’t want them to fall onto my house, but I’m more concerned about myself.  This ice storm is a bad beast.  I hope I’m the only idiot who learned the hard way not to venture out, but I suspect I’m not.  And there are plenty of other idiots who won’t learn, this time, because they will be fortunate not to hit that “wrong” slick spot.  Not this time.

Posted in Nature, Walking, Weather | 6 Comments

Stir-crazy

stir-cra·zy

[stur-krey-zee]
adjective Slang.

  1. Informal. restless or frantic because of confinement, routine, etc.: I was stir-crazy after just two months of keeping house.
  2. mentally ill because of long imprisonment.

icyI’d like to think the first definition is most appropriate to my situation. This brief period (it’s been just 24 hours or so) of being house-bound due to ice and broken tree limbs and spotty power outages cannot be equivalent to a long imprisonment, nor can the fact that I feel a little like challenging Nature to a duel be evidence of mental illness.

Speaking of stir, it has heretofore been my understanding that the concept of “stir-crazy” arose from the irrational behaviors that sprang from spending time in prison, or “stir.” The online definitions I’ve found thus far do not include, even informally, a definition of “stir” as a noun meaning prison.

This weather that has made me a prisoner in my own home/neighborhood has given rise to wishful thinking about places in which such weather would be unlikely.  Earlier this morning, my sister-in-law and I discussed such places.  Santa Rosa, California. McMinnville, Oregon.  The Weather Channel says the average December low for McMinnville is 34; for Santa Rosa, the average December low is 39. Those are tolerable. But so is the average low for December in Dallas; The Weather Channel says the average December low is 39.  They lie!  It’s 21 degrees here!  How could we possibly be so far below our average low?!

Hmm.  So, just now, I checked the weather for Santa Rosa.  The temperature there is 32. Tonight’s low is forecast to be 25.  Then I checked McMinnville.  The temperature there is 21 degrees and tonight’s low is forecast to be 15.

As I look out the window, I see trees glazed with ice. I see a white roof, and another, and another. I see streets coated with ice and sleet and refrozen slush. And I see evidence all around me of a conspiracy to keep me indoors. Early Winter is conspiring with Nature, along with the U.S. Office of Weather Control, to imprison me in my own home! I have news for them! Today, I will break free! It may be for only 15 minutes, but today I will taste freezedom!

 

Posted in Nature, Weather | 4 Comments

Nature

The ice storm we are facing today began last night, shortly before nightfall.  Forecasts call for issue with ice to continue for a while yet, though the sleet and freezing rain apparently are behind us.  But the slightly rising temperatures that melted some of the ice on the roads, and the sunlight amplified by reflecting ice that melted some of the ice on the trees, have disappeared.  We can expect temperatures tonight near 18 degrees.  The weight of ice on the tree limbs will not improve.  The thousands of cracked and broken and shattered limbs that litter the street and yards and rooftops will stay where they are; the weight of ice on limbs and branches that remain attached to trees my have weakened the wood enough so that there is more damage.

We are in danger of losing a huge tree in front and several large limbs of the large oak next to the house are bending dangerously close to the roof.  Some limbs are in danger of collapse, some are simply weighing down the roof.

This is natural stuff.  Nothing abnormal.  But the results are not natural; they will require sawing and cutting and disposal.   If limbs crash into the roof, shingles and, perhaps, sheathing will require repair.

Dammit.  Dammit.  Dammit. I did not want to deal with this stuff.  Particularly when my sister-in-law is visiting; she’s leaving Tuesday.  We’re effectively house bound for a good part of her visit.  Dammit.

I can’t complain about nature. Not really.  But I can be annoyed with nature.

 

 

Posted in Nature | 2 Comments

Dropping In

In a post yesterday morning, I included a link to a review of a book entitled The Lonely American. Some of the content of that review has stayed on my mind. Specifically, this comment has been on my mind: “neighbors are afraid to drop in on other neighbors for fear of disturbing them.”  I’m not ‘close’ to any of my neighbors, so maybe that’s why I wouldn’t even consider just ‘dropping in.’  But, then, it’s the same with friends.

Although I welcome the idea of friends dropping in on me (though I don’t remember the last time that happened), I am more than reticent to drop in on them…I just don’t do it. Why?  It’s because I don’t want to interrupt them in the midst of something important, or even not-so-important.  Often, I’m hesitant even to call, out of concern that it might not be a good time.  So I resort to text messages or emails.

Yet the very concern that we might impose on our friends’ time is what tends to lessen the casual sense of familiarity and intimacy that is a cornerstone of friendship.  If I send a text message and then put my phone aside and don’t hear the alert that says I have a new message, my response is delayed.  So our communication takes place in slow motion. And that may “send a message” that the communication is not valued highly or is not a priority.And that is a shame.

Having not read the book to which I refer above, I don’t know if mine is the sort of experience the authors had in mind when writing the book.  I suppose I’ll have to add the book to my reading list so I can find out.  In the interim, I hereby announce to that tiny fraction of the world that reads this post that I would welcome my friends to drop by or call any time.  Maybe that’s what it takes; letting people know it’s not only all right for them to drop by, but actively encouraged.

It might be best to say it, though, instead of just leaving a message online.

Posted in Communication, Friendship | 10 Comments

Sunday Assembly

If you’ve read my blog, or my Facebook comments, you know I’ve spoken well of “the church” with respect to “doing good,” and have lamented the lack of a church-like organization for non believers who desire the social benefits of church and who want to belong to an organization that “does good.”

Well, this might be it. And it’s coming to Dallas, according to the Dallas Observer.

Posted in Religion, Secular morality | 5 Comments

Revelations

Last night I read a number of posts I’ve written but have not posted.  There are reasons. Most of the time, I write and immediately post; complete with grammar and spelling errors.  But sometimes, I write and say to myself, “Do not post this now, John. Wait.” And, so, some of my writing that reveals my deepest flaws or, perhaps, my greatest strengths never gets posted.  These pieces remain as drafts until I decide either to delete them or to move them to a “graveyard” where I keep old ideas that, for one reason or another, I choose not to share.

As I read some thirty drafts last night, I realized that fully two-thirds of them shared a thread; they revealed a concern about a personal characteristic that I have always found troubling and embarrassing.  I decided not to post them because I thought they would make me seem weak.   Still unable to open myself up to the world, I won’t post them now. Instead, I will reveal things I have been reading or places I’ve just been poking about online.  Sorry to have led you to this let-down.  I hope you at least find some consolation in the links below:

  • Six Habits of Highly Empathetic People: A Facebook friend shared this and I found it truly riveting reading. It seems to me a willingness to understand and appreciate what other people are “going through” can go a long way toward achieving peace.  It’s a long, long road, but one worth taking, I think.  Reading it led me to other interesting “stuff,” as well.
  • The Lonely American: Drifting Apart in the 21st Century: This is a book about the effects of social isolation. A review of the book is found here. As I consider what I know of my neighbors and how much time I spend with people outside my own house, I think this book may be required reading for me.
  • How Our Ancestors Used to Sleep Twice a Night: This article, sent to me on Facebook by someone else (thank you, T!), is another fascinating read, offering insights into sleep patterns of the past that were very different from those of most of us today.
  • Demystifying False Confessions: This post on the Innocence Project blog discusses how/why the utterly counter intuitive act of falsely confessing to a crime occurs.  After reading this post, I went on to read this one, which presents facts that support my contention that the death penalty should not be used if for no other reason than it is irreversible; too many people on death row have been exonerated after wrongful convictions.
  • The Loneliest Road: US-50 is a highway that runs from San Francisco, CA to the Chesapeake Bay.  I stumbled onto this page about the “loneliest road” while daydreaming with my fingers on the keyboard.  The entire site (Road Trip USA) is interesting; I may need to get the books. Anyone want to join me on a cross-country wander?  Someday. Someday.
  • How to Immigrate to Newfoundland and Labrador: Speaking of travel and daydreaming, I came upon this quite by accident.  This page is just the jumping-off point to learn more about immigrating to Newfoundland and Labrador.  From here, I backtracked all over the site.  Interesting place, it appears.
  • Socialism as Radical Democracy: I’ve been to this page before and found it intriguing.  I still find it intriguing.  If you (whoever you are) will leave your preconceptions about socialism behind, I think you’ll find a lot of merit in the principles of the Socialist Party USA. Granted, wealthy capitalists living lives of lavish excess won’t be thrilled with what they say, but that does not disturb me in the least.

And so there you have it.  My revelations for this morning.

Posted in Wisdom | 1 Comment

Roots of Religion

A few months ago, I watched The Buddha on PBS for the third or fourth time.  Almost every time I see that it’s on, I watch it.  That’s not my usual practice with television; generally, I don’t watch it much and rarely make a point to watch specific programs (I will admit to Breaking Bad while it was on The Good Wife,  and a very few others).  Normally, if I’ve already seen an interesting program, even something exceptionally interesting to me, I pass it by.  I pass the evening, instead, by reading or watching another program or cruising the internet or playing word games or….whatever.  But there’s something about The Buddha that draws me.  I want to watch it again and again.  There is something there that, with every viewing, teaches me something.

For many years I identified myself as an agnostic and then, later (and now), an atheist.  I do not believe in a super power to whom prayers, in the right format and under the right conditions, will be answered. Yet I find considerable wisdom in many religious teachings and traditions. Perhaps even in some religious rituals (which in my view are intellectual anachronisms born of superstition and fear), there are seeds of knowledge, kernels of essential truth. That last point is a departure for me.  More on that in a moment.

Those seeds of knowledge and kernels of truth, though, are buried under layer upon layer of self-serving bureaucracy. I find the inherent organizational self-perpetuation in religion annoying and hypocritical. If I look deeply, though, I see commonality among religions. But it’s not the commonality of a god.  It’s the commonality of kindness and goodness, often hidden beneath adulterated idiocy born, I feel sure, of fear…fear of inadequacy or fear of discovery.  Buried beneath the sometimes choking ceremonies and solemn protocols of the church are admirable motives and guidance: be good, do good, help others.  That guidance does not need a mystical being to convey legitimacy.  The motives behind the guidance does not require a “manager” to make them right. So why do so many religions arm themselves with the ultimate weapon, a supreme being, to force conformity with the guidance they seek to give?  I will hazard a guess.

Despite humankind’s collective desire to do and be good, the “outliers” reveal there are aberrations that strain our common bonds of humanity.  Despite our collective teachings, our guidance to love one another, treat others as one wishes to be treated, and so on, some among us have always been unwilling to function within the boundaries we have set forth. Failing to persuade the “outliers” to behave as society would like them to behave, the church tells them there’s another reason to do as we wish: the supreme being says so.  The laws of society should accomplish the same things, but to behavioral outliers, the laws of Man are challenges to overcome, rules to be broken.  But, at least in some cases, if religion has succeeded in persuading these outliers that an eternity of agony awaits them if they don’t straighten up and fly right, they might be good.  Might.  Not bloody likely, but might. The words of a mysterious being with powers beyond any humankind can ever hope to achieve, just might hold more sway, though, than laws written by imperfect Man.

What attracts me to The Buddha, I suppose, is the fact that it tells the story not of a deity but of a man.  It tells the story of a man born to privilege who came to understand that the accessories of privilege are superficial and unable to provide fulfillment.  And the teachings of Buddhism, as I’ve come to understand them in an admittedly superficial and limited way, give guidance, not dictates. But Buddhism shares plenty of core values with the other major religions.  And Buddhism, today, is awash in ritual and ceremony, the things I decry about other religions.  But this ritual does not disturb me the way I find the rituals of other religions disturbing.  And I wonder why.

As I consider this, I begin to understand why I come back to the television set when The Buddha comes on.  I learn something new each time.  I make one step closer to “enlightenment.”    This time, I learned how important ritual can be to understanding the message.  And I learned—not from the television program but from myself—that it really doesn’t matter where the message comes from.  It doesn’t matter whether the message is said to emanate from a supreme being or from our own minds based on our experience with reality.  What’s important is the message.  And my understanding and interpretation of the core message in every religion corresponds to the ethic of reciprocity, known in Western religions as “the golden rule.”

I’m not a Buddhist, I’m an atheist.  But I like the core teachings of Buddhism.  And I’m coming to realize that I like the core teachings of Islam and Christianity and Hinduism and others, when they are stripped clean of the dangerous and violent “baggage” they so often carry.  It’s the basis of those teachings with which I have quarrels, along with some of the moral teachings that I believe are based on anachronistic clutter.  But, then, if those religions emerged as a means to “enforce” the fundamental moral codes that I believe are innate in humanity, I can tolerate them, just as long as they stay true to those fundamentals.  That’s the problem, though.  Violence is anathema to those fundamentals, but is commonly justified in religious practice.

The recent “apostolic exhortation” of Pope Francis gives me a shred of hope that the Catholic Church, at least, might be moving ever so slowly away from some of its more bizarre rules.  However, that shred of hope is tempered by the fact that he said the male-dominated priesthood is “not open to discussion.”  He did, at least, say women should have a greater role in leadership of the church.  Why should I care, since I am not a Catholic and believe VERY strongly that religion should have no measurable role in social or governmental policy?  I care because the church (and, here, I refer to all religions) has a strong role to play in government and society simply because so many people look to the church for direction and guidance.  I’d rather the church teach adherents to admire and appreciate and support secular government and society.

The very public resurgence of evangelical Protestantism—especially because so much of it has morphed into a monstrously uncharitable, right-wing, politically based, venomous religion based more on greed than charity—does not give me much hope.  Nor does what I have seen in Islam, though the issue there maybe the lack of a central authority which can help dictate behavior.

Back to the title of this post: if the roots of religion were maintained as the guiding principles of each faith, I doubt I’d have any issues with them, except of course to disagree with the source of humankind’s fundamental goodness.  In a nutshell, I think it’s in the “genes,” while the church says it’s in the “G’s” (or singular “G”).

Churches, or their secular alternatives (which I wish I could define and encourage), could be powerful, positive forces for good.  But the only way that can happen, globally, is for adherents to religion, as well as atheists and agnostics, to refrain from attacking one another, both intellectually and physically.  I’ll freely admit that I behave badly toward religion more frequently than I treat it well; I have been guilty of making fun of belief in “magic” and have felt, and probably have said, people who believe in a supreme being are willing participants in their own delusion.  But when I see religions and the churches and synagogues and temples and so forth representing them evolve into less judgmental institutions, I’ll make every effort to do the same and to encourage those who share my perspective on divinity to follow suit.

Ultimately, the future of humankind and the earth we call home depend on recognizing that we must all make real efforts to get along, look out after each other and the planet we call home, and focus on solving problems instead of being problems.

This little piece that started out being about my intrigue with Buddhism has grown into something else.  I don’t know quite what to call it, but it’s not a critique of a television series.

 

Posted in Philosophy, Religion, Secular morality | 6 Comments

Borrowing Art

Libraries are extraordinary.  You want a book, they’ll lend you a book.  They don’t have the book?  They’ll get it for you.  The cost?  Usually, nothing.  Even if the book you want is not available in the library system, they will get it for your through inter-library loan (at least the Dallas Public Library will) for a pittance.  I think I paid $1.75 the last time I got a book that way; it was unavailable electronically.

I wrote about the death of libraries a few months ago. I hope my pessimistic predictions about libraries are wrong.  Rarely do I hope to be wrong (why hope for something that so often occurs regularly and naturally?), but I want to be wrong about libraries.

Pierre-Auguste Renoir Self Portrait

As I considered the value of libraries, though, I thought to myself, “there’s room for improvement in the concept…libraries already lend literary art in the form of books and videos and audio recordings, they should extend that to the visual arts!”  And then I started looking to see if that’s a new concept.  It is not.  The Greenwich, Connecticut library does it.   The Art Lending Library in Seattle does it. The Jane Addams Hull-House Museum Art Lending Library in Chicago does it. The Minneapolis Art Lending Library does it.

 

Portrait of the wife of Henri Matisse

Guernica, Pablo Picasso

Alas, it appears the Dallas Public Library does not have an art lending program.  I wish it did.  I’d love to be able to view new art (I’m perfectly willing to settle for prints) on my walls every

Airplanes by Alice X. Zhang

few weeks.   Though it would be nice to have prints of famous pieces by Pablo Picasso, Claude Monet, Henri Matisse, Pierre-Auguste Renoir, et al, I’d be just as happy and maybe happier to hang prints from local artists whose style is appealing.  To be honest, though, I don’t know who those local artists are, as I’m not much into the arts scene.

Hong Hao

I wonder if local artists would be interested in contributing prints of their work to an art lending library?  What about the sculptors in the local arts community? Would they want me to show off their work in my front yard?  This is just a dream, of course; I do not have the connections nor the wherewithal to instigate such an endeavor.  But I wish someone would.

For the time being, at least, I’ll have to settle for borrowing books.  I have requested several books that should be getting to my branch library any day now:

  • Crabgrass Frontier: The Suburbanization of the United States, by Kenneth T. Jackson;
  • The Sense of an Ending, by Julian Barnes;
  • Fault Lines: How Hidden Fractures Still Threaten the World Economy, by Raghuram Rajan; and
  • Coming Back: New Orleans Resurgent, by Mario Tama

With the exception of The Sense of an Ending, I’ll probably just browse.  Kind of like what I would do with the borrowed art.

Posted in Art, Libraries | 1 Comment

On the Margins

I stand at the edge, on the margins, watching the flood,
so close to the torrent, yet apart from the flow.

There, where I’ve always stood on the margins,
the rush beckons me, urges me to lunge.

I could fall at any moment or I could jump.
Just cut the cord keeping me on the margins.

But on the margins, I’m safe from the mainstream,
there’s no danger of drowning in a withering tide.

Still, waves in the current invite me to leave my place
on the margins, to gently enter the allure of the channel.

It may be bravery or it may be fear that keeps me here.
I won’t be swept into the stream; I’ll stay on the margins.


What is a poet? An unhappy person who conceals profound anguish in his heart but whose lips are so formed that as sighs and cries pass over them they sound like beautiful music.
~ Søren Kierkegaard

What is an unhappy person? A poet who conceals profound anguish in his heart but whose lips are so formed that as sighs and cries pass over them they sound like wounded buffalo.
~ John Swinburn

Posted in Poetry | 9 Comments

Is Money an Appropriate Gift?

I was only half-listening to a radio or television program—I don’t know, it may have been news, maybe a documentary, I was distracted—when I half-heard a remark that struck me later, when it surfaced in memory.  Only later did my brain process that background noise, that odd statement that stuck with me, though its context did not. “When you go to someone’s house for dinner, you may bring a bottle of wine, but you don’t bring a cash equivalent.”    That is not verbatim, but it conveys the concept.

Giving your dinner host a bottle of wine—or a loaf of bread or flowers—is appropriate. Showing up with a gift card to Target?  Not so much.  The idea makes me shudder in awkward discomfiture. Why is that?  What is it that makes the idea of giving one’s host a gift of cash or a cash-equivalent so uncomfortable?

I suppose the reasons for the discomfort are legion, but probably they spring from a deeply personal, utterly human emotion best captured by the phrase, “you can’t buy my love.” A gift of wine or bread or cheese or flowers is almost universally perceived as an expression of appreciation and recognition of the host’s hospitality and generosity.  Replacing that gift with cash or a gift card would cheapen the expression of thanks and turn it into a financial transaction, a payment, as if dinner with the host were simply an alternative to a restaurant meal.  Cash carries with it the coldness of purchase; a gift brings the warmth of respect and friendship.

That argument satisfies me.  But it doesn’t hold up, not when it is so common for gifts on birthdays and Christmas, for example, to take the form of cash or gift cards.  Why is it that a cash gift to a host would be crude and embarrassing to both parties, but a cash gift for Christmas is, to some, perfectly acceptable?

Granted, it’s sometimes easier to simply give money than buy a gift.  And the recipient often would be more appreciative of cash than a cashmere sweater.  But isn’t giving a gift card taking the easy, and the crass, way out?  A gift is, or should be, so much more personal. It suggests the giver has consciously considered what the recipient might want and has invested the time and effort—and money—to find it.  Better still, a handmade gift suggests the giver deeply values the recipient and has invested time and personal initiative in the gift.

Ah, but doesn’t that fall apart when the host’s gift is a bottle of three buck Chuck wine from Trader Joe’s?  My gut, my emotional reaction to that question is that it doesn’t fall apart with that cheap bottle of wine.  But I can’t quite put my finger on why.  And I still can’t quite get to the point of being comfortable with the cash or cash-equivalent birthday or graduation or Christmas gift, though I’ve given and received such gifts. When I’ve received them, I’ve appreciated them.  And I’m always willing to give the experience—as recipient—another try.

I would not go to Kroger and attempt to pay for a 28 ounce can of crushed tomatoes with a hand-turned writing pen I made on my wood lathe.  Aside from my concern that my attempt to do so might result in my being detained for a mental evaluation, it’s just absurd. I know I must pay for my tomatoes with cash or a cash equivalent.  Similarly, I don’t give my dinner host a $20 bill because it’s not an appropriate way of showing thanks.  The appropriateness, or lack thereof, may be purely a social construct, but it’s one that’s been drilled deeply into my psyche.  It would feel wrong.  But the logic still eludes me.  But so does the logic of the grocer’s refusal to accept a pen that might be worth $40 in payment for a $2 can of tomatoes.

Ultimately, I suppose, the difference is that the can of tomatoes is a commercial transaction involving a financial obligation,  while dinner at my friend’s home is a social engagement with no such obligation.  The bottle of wine is not payment for a product or service, it is an expression of gratitude for friendship and hospitality. There, that answers it.

But, still, there’s the issue of the graduation gift-card.  It seems to me we may be mistakenly allowing our expressions of appreciation and regard to morph into social and personal financial obligations.  That disturbs me.  I’m convincing myself that cash and cash equivalents are not appropriate gifts.  Gifts should not be confused with financial obligations.  Gifts should not be perceived as obligations of any kind.

I know, like so many things, gift-giving in the form of cash and cash-equivalents is not black and white.   I may change my mind about it, as I so often do about so many things. But for now, I’m thinking back to the times I’ve given money as a gift and wishing I’d given something requiring more intimacy and more consideration.

You?

Posted in Cash Gifts | 15 Comments

About Thanksgiving…

Very probably, the majority of those who celebrate Thanksgiving Day in the United States identify it as a day to reflect on and give thanks or express appreciation for all the goodness and bounty in their lives, from their family and friends to the creature comforts they enjoy. Unfortunately, as an aside, for many years it has not been a day to express thanks or appreciation that the country is not at war.

Second Continental Congress Thanksgiving Proclamation

The event and the celebrations associated with it began (and, for the majority of Americans, continues today) as religious observances.  Well before the Pilgrims celebrated an abundant harvest with the indigenous inhabitants in Plymouth in 1621, the practice of “giving thanks” was common.  According to a November 20, 2007 article in USA Today, a Spanish explorer named Pedro Menendez de Aviles, who landed on September 8, 1565 celebrated a feast of thanksgiving with Timucua Indians, dining on bean soup.

Later, it became a regularly celebrated practice to set aside a day (or more) to “give thanks” for the abundance enjoyed from successful harvests and, later, for all the good circumstances in which we as a people found ourselves. It took a while, though, for formalization at the national level. That occurred through legislative proclamation. On November 1, 1777, the Second Continental Congress recommended to the executives of the colonies that December 18, 1777 be set aside as a day of thanksgiving during which the American people “may express the grateful feelings of their hearts and consecrate themselves to the service of their divine benefactor” and during which they might “join the penitent confession of their manifold sins . . . that it may please God, through the merits of Jesus Christ, mercifully to forgive and blot them out of remembrance.” At the same time, Congress recommended that Americans petition God “to prosper the means of religion for the promotion and enlargement of that kingdom which consisteth in righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Ghost.”

Then, in 1782, the Confederation Congress saw a need to give thanks for delivering the country from war and into independence, issuing the following proclamation:

IT being the indispensable duty of all Nations, not only to offer up their supplications to ALMIGHTY GOD, the giver of all good, for his gracious assistance in a time of distress, but also in a solemn and public manner to give him praise for his goodness in general, and especially for great and signal interpositions of his providence in their behalf: Therefore the United States in Congress assembled, taking into their consideration the many instances of divine goodness to these States, in the course of the important conflict in which they have been so long engaged; the present happy and promising state of public affairs; and the events of the war, in the course of the year now drawing to a close; particularly the harmony of the public Councils, which is so necessary to the success of the public cause; the perfect union and good understanding which has hitherto subsisted between them and their Allies, notwithstanding the artful and unwearied attempts of the common enemy to divide them; the success of the arms of the United States, and those of their Allies, and the acknowledgment of their independence by another European power, whose friendship and commerce must be of great and lasting advantage to these States:—– Do hereby recommend to the inhabitants of these States in general, to observe, and request the several States to interpose their authority in appointing and commanding the observation of THURSDAY the twenty-eight day of NOVEMBER next, as a day of solemn THANKSGIVING to GOD for all his mercies: and they do further recommend to all ranks, to testify to their gratitude to GOD for his goodness, by a cheerful obedience of his laws, and by promoting, each in his station, and by his influence, the practice of true and undefiled religion, which is the great foundation of public prosperity and national happiness.

Done in Congress, at Philadelphia, the eleventh day of October, in the year of our LORD one thousand seven hundred and eighty-two, and of our Sovereignty and Independence, the seventh.

Seven years later, George Washington made the following proclamation:

Whereas it is the duty of all Nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey his will, to be grateful for his benefits, and humbly to implore his protection and favor, and whereas both Houses of Congress have by their joint Committee requested me “to recommend to the People of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many signal favors of Almighty God especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness.”

Now therefore I do recommend and assign Thursday the 26th day of November next to be devoted by the People of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being, who is the beneficent Author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be. That we may then all unite in rendering unto him our sincere and humble thanks, for his kind care and protection of the People of this Country previous to their becoming a Nation, for the signal and manifold mercies, and the favorable interpositions of his providence, which we experienced in the course and conclusion of the late war, for the great degree of tranquility, union, and plenty, which we have since enjoyed, for the peaceable and rational manner, in which we have been enabled to establish constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national One now lately instituted, for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed; and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge; and in general for all the great and various favors which he hath been pleased to confer upon us.

And also that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and beseech him to pardon our national and other transgressions, to enable us all, whether in public or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually, to render our national government a blessing to all the people, by constantly being a Government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed, to protect and guide all Sovereigns and Nations (especially such as have shown kindness unto us) and to bless them with good government, peace, and concord. To promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the encrease of science among them and Us, and generally to grant unto all Mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as he alone knows to be best.

Given under my hand at the City of New York the third day of October in the year of our Lord 1789.

Thanksgiving Day did not become a Federal holiday until 1863.  Every year since 1863, when Abraham Lincoln issued the following proclamation, we have celebrated Thanksgiving  as a Federal holiday:

The year that is drawing towards its close, has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature, that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever watchful providence of Almighty God. In the midst of a civil war of unequalled magnitude and severity, which has sometimes seemed to foreign States to invite and to provoke their aggression, peace has been preserved with all nations, order has been maintained, the laws have been respected and obeyed, and harmony has prevailed everywhere except in the theatre of military conflict; while that theatre has been greatly contracted by the advancing armies and navies of the Union. Needful diversions of wealth and of strength from the fields of peaceful industry to the national defence, have not arrested the plough, the shuttle, or the ship; the axe had enlarged the borders of our settlements, and the mines, as well of iron and coal as of the precious metals, have yielded even more abundantly than heretofore. Population has steadily increased, notwithstanding the waste that has been made in the camp, the siege and the battle-field; and the country, rejoicing in the consciousness of augmented strength and vigor, is permitted to expect continuance of years, with large increase of freedom.

No human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy.

It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and voice by the whole American people. I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens. And I recommend to them that while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him for such singular deliverances and blessings, they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to his tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the interposition of the Almighty Hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it as soon as may be consistent with the Divine purposes to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquility and Union.

In testimony whereof, I have hereunto set my hand, and caused the seal of the United States to be affixed.

Done at the city of Washington, this third day of October, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and sixty-three, and of the independence of the United States the eighty-eighth.

Since then, the religious foundations of the holiday have ebbed and flowed. I think the celebration has become more spiritual than religious for many people, (especially nonbelievers), i.e., a day of appreciation rather than thanks. It has become a day to reflect on our bounty.  Fortunately, I think, it also has become a day to acknowledge that not everyone has reason to appreciate their bounty and, following that acknowledgement, to do something about it.

I saw a report on the local television news last night that, after the North Texas Food Bank ran out of turkeys to give to people standing in line to get one so they, too, could enjoy a nice meal on Thanksgiving Day, people flooded the organization with donations.  One woman brought 100 turkeys to the Food Bank.  I really appreciate hearing about people who do more than talk about sharing the bounty.

So, I’ve done my early morning reading about Thanksgiving and have shared it with anyone who has read this far.  If anyone who reads this is interested in a non-traditional Thanksgiving meal, you’re welcome to come to my house for dinner today.  Unless we have a change of plans, we’re having tacos; doing a turkey for just the two of us just wasn’t on our list of things we felt compelled to do today.  But we bought one!  So, when the mood strikes us, we’ll brine it and roast it and, when we eat it, we’ll be appreciative of our bounty, just as we are on this “official” day of thanks.

Posted in Thanksgiving | 8 Comments

Hallucination

The only time I can recall having a hallucination was ten years ago.  That memory surfaced recently over lunch with a couple we’ve known for years.  He said he had hallucinated while in the hospital a few years ago, explaining that it had to do with the pain medications he was on.  That triggered my memory.

I was in the cardiac ICU, after having undergone surgery.  The ICU nurse assigned to me spent most of the night in question looking out for me and, I assume, other cardiac ICU patients.  The only other person I saw was a respiratory therapist who visited periodically to have me take deep breaths and blow into a device to measure my lung capacity.

Several times during the night, I managed to move so the wires for the cardiac monitor affixed to my chest pulled loose.  Each time that happened, an alarm sounded and the nurse came in to attach the wires again.  And each time I felt bad that I had somehow done something to cause more work for her.  One time, the connections came off my chest when I tried to get up to make my way to the “bathroom,” which was nothing more than a portable urinal and hand sink near my bed.  When she came in to correct the situation, she chastised me for getting up by myself, saying something along the lines of “It’s my job to look out after you; you aren’t disturbing me when the alarm goes off and you won’t disturb me if you need me to help you…DON’T try that on your own again!”

The aforementioned interactions were real.  My intellect tells me the ones that followed are not; they must be hallucinations.  Read on, I think you’ll agree.

About the third or fourth time I pulled the wires loose and set off the alarm, the nurse came in with a look of annoyance on her face.  Her hair was a bit out of place and it appeared that her blouse was only partially buttoned.  Instantly, I suspected she had been with the respiratory therapist when the alarm sounded and was forced to quickly pull her clothes back on to come respond to the alarm.

Not long after she corrected that disconnection, it happened again.  This time, it took her much longer to come to my bedside.  And this time, she was decidedly more disheveled and her blouse was partially unbuttoned.  Her face was flushed and she was breathing hard.  A moment later, the respiratory therapist came in.  They exchanged long and  knowing looks.

The look in her eyes as she turned to leave told the story: she knew that I knew about her tryst with the respiratory therapist and she knew I could report it and she would lose her job.  I knew, too, that she would not believe me if I swore not to say a word.  I knew she and her boyfriend had decided the only way for them to stay safe was to kill me.

My heart began to race and I began to shake.  I didn’t know how I would defend myself if she decided to kill me.  It probably wouldn’t be obvious; she’d probably use a drug that she would inject into my IV.   I got very, very frightened.  I was getting sleepy, but I dared not shut my eyes because I might go to sleep and if I went to sleep I might never wake up.

So, I kept my eyes open.  I watched carefully so I would at least be alert and awake if she returned to kill me.

I have to describe the area in which my bed was located in order for the next part to make any sense.  My “room” was actually a triangular space; two part of the triangle were walls, outfitted with all manner of medical equipment and supplies. The third part of the triangle was a glass wall with a doorway, but no door.  Curtains hanging from the ceiling covered the windows on the inside and could be pulled over the doorway, as well.

Some time later, as I watched the door opening, I saw the drapes being pulled back.  A small boy and a small girl peered into my tiny triangular room and stared at me. Instantly, I knew they were the nurse’s children.  I must have moved suddenly when they pulled back the curtain, because the alarm went off, indicating I had pulled a lead away from my chest again.

The nurse came quickly this time.  Her blouse was not tucked into her skirt and several of her top buttons were unbuttoned, revealing her bra.  She looked at the children by the window, then looked at me, visibly angry.  She said something like “I’ll take care of this,” then I saw her plunge the needle of a syringe into an IV connection.

That’s all I remember of the hallucination.  My memory of the hallucination has no doubt changed over the years, but the way I’ve described it is essentially the way it happened. At least in my mind.

I didn’t tell anyone about it for weeks, maybe month, after my surgery because it seemed very real to me; I thought I might have been losing my mind.  Or that I had barely escaped with my life.  Finally, though, it sunk in; this series of “memories” could not possibly have happened.  I think it was the realization that there was no way the nurse would have had her children in the ICU in the middle of the night that finally convinced me.

That notwithstanding, I simply cannot get over how real it seemed at the time.  It was far more vivid and far more detailed than a dream.  It was as if all of this was really happening. I assume, of course, it didn’t.  Did it?

Posted in Health | 7 Comments

Jalapeños

My wife decided she wanted to go out to lunch today.  After a bit of back and forth about where, we opted to go to Cuquita’s, a Mexican restaurant adjacent to one of the grocery stores we frequent, Fiesta.  The choice of Cuquita’s was practical, as we had a list of things we needed from either Fiesta or Supermercado El Rancho, another favorite, and the restaurant’s proximity tipped the scale.  But a quick stop in El Rancho made it clear than a stop in Supermercado El Rancho was in order; that’s where we did our shopping today…it’s on the way home from Cuquita’s, so no inconvenience..

Despite having bought a gallon can of jalapeños just a short while ago, I noticed this morning that we were dangerously low on this important staple.  I needed another gallon.  I’d hoped to get lucky and find, when I opened the can of San Marco brand pickled  jalapeños, that I had a bunch of very large, very crisp jalapeños.  Alas, they were small and a bit over-prepared, but they will serve their purpose.  I used to buy a brand called Clemente Jacques, but I haven’t been able to find them lately.  The only gallon cans I find these days are San Marcos and La Costeña brand, neither of which have, of late, thrilled me with the size and quality of the peppers.

After opening the less-than-satisfactory-can today, I decided I need to do some research; which brands are reputed to reveal large, crisp jalapeños when the can is opened?  And, equally as important, where can I find them in gallon sizes?

I turned to the internet for answers.  I found plenty of information, but not exactly what I sought.  But that’s often the case.  So, I decided the best approach to my dilemma would be to buy a small can (or jar) of each of several brands of  jalapeños and do my own analysis. Then, once I’ve decided which one I prefer, attempt to find the brand in gallon containers.

Thus far, I’ve identified the following brands of canned (and jarred)  jalapeños:

  • San Marcos
  • La Costeña
  • Clemente Jacques
  • Embasa
  • Trappey’s
  • Herdez
  • Louisiana Brand
  • Ortega
  • Vlasic
  • Faro

During the course of my research, though, I kept coming across comments about Trappey’s (which I have probably tried, but don’t remember…I do remember they come in jars, not cans).  The comments often mention how crisp they are…HEY NOW!  So I keep reading. The trick, some say, is that Trappey’s and possibly a few other brands cold pickle the peppers, rather than do traditional canning.   (Here’s an example of the Trappey’s conversations, for my reference, along with recipes for doing your own. I may want to do that some time, but not now, not in my state of laziness.) I have a vague recollection of eating some jalapeños from a jar that were, indeed, crisp, but as I recall they were too crisp and had a somewhat odd flavor.  Another reason for a “formal” taste test.

For now, though, I have slightly more than a gallon of jalapeños en escabeche.  Thanks to our trip to El Rancho, we have plenty of raw  jalapeños, as well, along with tomatillos, chiles serranos, cilantro, and other goodies necessary to make a nice salsa or, perhaps, pico de gallo for the tacos I’ll make tomorrow night. 

If anyone stumbling on this post knows of more brand of pickled  jalapeños, especially brands that tend to sell large, crisp peppers, I will be deeply indebted if you will leave a note with details!

 

Posted in Food | 3 Comments

Looking for a New Neighborhood

It’s rare, but it happens: the advice offered in a “free e-newsletter” turns out to be valuable, thought-provoking advice. In the instance to which I am referring, it was nothing earth-shattering, but decent, well-conceived advice. I will give credit where credit is due. The free newsletter came through an email I received from Trulia.com, the online real estate resource I’ve been using to look for homes. I received an email from Trulia yesterday.  The subject line read: “4 Ways to Find Your Perfect Neighborhood.” In the body of the message was a section entitled “4 Questions To Surface the Best Neighborhood for You.” I clicked on the link, which took me to a Trulia blog post written by Tara-Nicholle Nelson, a broker in San Francisco.

The four questions Nelson suggests asking are questions to which I want answers before I decide where to live.  They are not secret questions I would not have thought of on my own.  But they are questions that can get lost in the house-hunting process because there are so many other questions to ask.  And the answers to these questions are SO important to ensuring the move you make is the right move, to the right neighborhood.   My wife and I have been considering the questions Nelson asks, but not quite as explicitly as Nelson asks them.  But, having read the post, we will frame the questions more directly.

So, what are the questions?  Well, I’ve linked to the article, above, so you can read her words for yourself, but here’s a brief summary:

  1. What do people around here like to do in their spare time?  The answers, or lack thereof, can reveal a lot about the level of interaction people in the neighborhood have with their neighbors.
  2. What do we want our family’s “ecosystem” to look and feel like? The level of activity, proximity to personally important amenities, and other such issues are probably equally as important as the specific house.
  3. What do I need to know about this neighborhood that I’m not asking…what is not obvious?  This is a question to ask of the real estate agent or someone else quite knowledgeable of the area.  You can get a better feel of the area by asking this open-ended question.
  4. Are there any common issues you frequently see with homes in this area?In her article, Nelson gives examples in her neighborhood: clay soils and the settling associated with them and bridge driveways that must be replaced every 20 or 30 years.

I have reached the conclusion that what we want and what is available at prices we can afford are mutually exclusive.  So, there will be compromise, perhaps difficult and painful compromise.  But we need a starting place.  So, I create in my mind the ideal setting for my home.

My ideal home would be quite near a sheer cliff, with a clear view of the ocean from every room.  Below, the crash of the ocean’s waves against the base of the cliff would be thunderous and jarring.  The nearest neighbors would be half a mile away, down the lonely country lane that leads to a vibrant small town just three-quarters-of-a-mile further.

Fifty yards from the road, on one side of the lane, I would see the edge of a thick, natural forest, a  mix of monstrously tall hardwoods and majestic conifers. On the other side of the lane are open, slightly rolling hills of soft grass.  In the distance, I would see a few dots on those grassy slopes, sheep and cattle I think.  The air would feel fresh and clean.  I would smell hints of pine and grass and the sea in the air.

Most of the exceedingly limited traffic on the lane would be my neighbors and my wife and I, either walking or riding bicycles.  On those occasions when we had a distance to go, we’d either take a scooter or the car that, though very small, almost fills the width of the lane.

The town would be a sanctuary for artists and artisans.  The place would be alive with the workshops of glass-blowers and potters, woodcarvers and blacksmiths, cheese makers and brewers, bakers and vintners.  Local farmers would pull their carts and wagons behind their tractors, driving to town daily with fresh fruits and vegetables.  The dairy farmers would bring milk.

Most of the traffic in the town would be pedestrian, though it would be common for smaller delivery trucks to share the narrow streets and there would be a smattering of small cars among the bicycles and scooters on the streets.  The place would be busy, but busy in a relaxed, productive, soothing way.  And if even that productive and joyful buzzing became too taxing, it would be easy to get away from it by stopping in at one of the dozens of pubs, each of which had its own unique environment built around its specialty drinks and foodstuffs and, in many cases, the ethnicity of the proprietors.

Drawn by the openness of its populace, people from around the globe would flock to the village to make new lives for themselves, bringing with them their customs, the foods, and their art.  The diversity of the town would be among its most gratifying attributes, illustrating as it would the capacity for people of all backgrounds and beliefs and world views to live harmoniously in close quarters.

On any given day, on the large village square, spontaneous gatherings would take place. One might be a group of people interested in photography, another could be people who want to speak and hear poetry, and yet another might be people who want to talk and learn about celestial constellations and debate theories of the speed with which the universe is expanding.  There might be groups of people interested in geology, gathering at the square in preparation for a trek to the coastal cliffs to examine their hundreds of layers of exposed rock.  Old men playing dominoes at tables around the perimeter of the square would remind me of my childhood.  Back the, I’d watch games of dominoes being played on card tables placed in covered walkways in front of downtown stores in small-town south Texas when I’d accompany my dad on his visits to lumberyards that were his customers.

All of these groups would be welcoming and open.  Participation would ebb and flow according to individuals’ interests and their schedules.  There would never be any reason to hesitate joining one of them because everyone would make a point to welcome newcomers.

The entire village, and my place a mile or so out of town, and all the other places like mine nearby, would be like my fantasy “third place,” the magical spot in which community becomes more than the people and places around you…you become part of it!  Today’s popular vision of the 1950s as a gentler, sweeter, more caring time than today would come rushing toward reality in this setting!  The imagined innocence of that time would return, but this time it would be real!  Goodness would fill the land.  All would be right with the world.

My gentle, bucolic setting goes all helter-skelter when the shepherds and beef ranchers and local fishermen come into the picture.  Suddenly, blood and viscera and fins and flesh must be discarded.  And facing the reality that the cattle and goats and sheep and fish must be slaughtered in order for us to eat them casts a pall over these scenes of sweetness.

If that’s not enough, we read of research that demonstrates plants react to external stimuli, suggesting that preparing our salads and vegetable soups is not necessarily the peaceful endeavors we have believed them to be.  Maybe plants can feel pain! Our innocence may vaporize in an instant!

As these unpleasant thoughts begin to claw at my concept of the ideal neighborhood, even more polycephalic beasts emerge, each new and troubling practicality becoming a monstrous head with which I must deal.  Where does the electrical power come from and how is it generated and distributed?  What about the materials we use…steel, wood, fuel? And sewage? How is it handled and how do we ensure it does not ruin this lovely environment? Do we have internet?  Do we need it?  My little utopian must use money, right?  Or will it be a barter economy?  Or will be freely share what we create?

Where the hell did my utopian dream go?!  How did my quest for a soft, semi-rural setting turn into a gut-wrenching acknowledgement that my fairy-tale neighborhood does not, cannot, exist?

For an answer, read this link that my friend, Robin, left for me in her comments on one of my posts a couple of days ago.   Seriously, read the link.  It’s very, very long, so set aside a good half hour to read it.  You will be glad you did.  And when you finish, you will have a different perspective on the neighborhood.

Posted in Housiing, Philosophy, Population, Third Place | 6 Comments

Kitchen Travel

My experiment in doing without has evolved from the original plan.  I started and ended my absence from social media (except this blog) early and curtailed my month of meatlessness after three weeks or so.  I am returning to my plan, though for reasons of convenience I will not begin doing without restaurant meals until the eleventh of December.  I’m all about flexibility.

The replacement for restaurant meals for December will be home-cooked meals focusing on regional cuisine of the U.S. and Canada.  I asked, through Facebook, for regional recipes; I truly appreciated the one response I got and will include Joyce’s oyster pie on the menu during the month.  Lacking an outpouring of support in identifying prospective regional dishes for my December meals, I did research on my own and came up with recipes for the dishes listed below.  I figure I’ll select at least two or three per week for the month; but having so many from which to choose, we could have five or more regional dishes a week if we so chose.  The ones I’ve already decided we WILL have are in boldface type.

  1. Minorcan Clam Chowder (Northeast Florida)
  2. American Chop Suey (Connecticut/New England) [AKA “Goulash” in the U.S. Midwest]
  3. Sseafood Gumbo (Creole/Coastal Louisiana)
  4. Rappie Pie (Acadian/Nova Scotian)
  5. Sausage/Chicken Gumbo (Cajun/Louisiana)
  6. Philly Cheesesteak (Philadelphia)
  7. Chicken Booyah (Northeastern Wisconsin)
  8. Smoked Salmon Tartare (Pacific Northwest)
  9. Arroz con Camarones (South Texas Coast, AKA John’s kitchen)
  10. Succotash (New England)
  11. Jiggs Dinner (Newfoundland/Labrador)
  12. Pan-Seared Grouper (Southeast/”Floribbean”)
  13. Tourtiere du Shack (Quebec)
  14. Cincinnati Chile (Cincinnati)
  15. Spiedie Sandwiches (Binghamton, New York)
  16. Muffuletta Sandwiches (New Orleans)
  17. Cornish Pasties (Michigan)
  18. Chicken with Tamarind Ginger Sauce (Southeast/”Floribbean”)
  19. King Ranch Chicken (Southwest)
  20. Fish Tacos (West Coast)
  21. Oyster Pie (Northeast-NY)
  22. Grilled Pacific Halibut w/ Rhubarb Compote & Balsamic Strawberries (Pacific Northwest)

Some of these recipes I’ve assembled call for ingredients that may be a bit tough to get in Dallas in December.  So, I’ll adjust my menus to adapt to availability. For example, the Rappie Pie recipe calls for a dozen fresh cherrystone clams and fresh sea scallops; they may be available, but cost will be a factor.

Speaking of ingredients, I suspect several of the recipes will present challenges.  Rather than being defeated by the reality of what’s available, I may decide to adapt and substitute ingredients if I decide a dish is especially attractive.  While I’d love to replicate each dish in a way that would mirror its preparation in its place of origin, reality suggests it may be impossible.  I’ll cope.

 

Posted in Doing Without, Food | 3 Comments

Taking Up Space

There are times I feel like I have a dependency, as if I have no control over things my brain craves in an almost physical sense. Facebook. Yes, Facebook.  I swore it off for a while and it was not hard to do.  Not hard to do cold turkey.  I did the same with cigarettes ten years ago.

But, then, sampling just a little of Facebook after a period of abstinence reconfigured my neurons and made it impossible to limit myself to small doses.  Oh, I did limit my use for a while, but it was not long.  After I returned for a visit, before many days passed, I was unable to leave for long.  I had to go back.  It’s absurd, of course; to think one can get so wrapped up in a social media website.  But it seems to have a root in reality. And I hate it.  So, what’s the difference between dependency and addiction?  I must look into that.  In the meantime, I confront it head on.  The first thing: reconfigure my blog so that it does not auto-post to Facebook.  Small steps.

I hate Facebook.  Not for what it is, but for what it reveals about some people, maybe for what it might reveal about me.  It shreds one’s facade and lays bare an inescapable neediness.  A need to be seen, recognized, appreciated, known.  It’s not so much a need for attention as it is a thirst for acknowledgement, a desire to be acknowledged as relevant and meaningful.  That may be the problem, of course; we can’t all be relevant and meaningful; some of us are just here, taking up space.

 

Posted in Depression | 6 Comments

The Darkest Storm

A monstrous storm is approaching.  It is too big to avoid; no matter where or how fast you go, you cannot hope to escape.  Your home cannot possibly survive the coming storm, nor can public shelters hope to do better.  You will just have to shelter in place and hope for the best.  Nothing you’ve experienced compares to this.  Your money can’t combat it. Your place in society cannot combat it.  Friends with connections cannot combat it.  You’re used to being able to fix things; you can’t fix this. It’s terrifying.

There’s no doubt electricity will fail as the storm’s peak approaches.  It will be off for at least a month; it might be off for many months.  You have food in the refrigerator and pantry that will feed you and your family for a week.  Considering the power of the storm, it’s obvious there will be no new supplies of food coming to you for weeks, maybe months.

You live in an upscale neighborhood, in an upscale house. Today.  But tomorrow, your house and your neighborhood and  your city will be in splinters.  Food will be scarce.  Water will be scarce.  As the weeks wear on, hunger will become a serious problem.  Lack of water will become not just serious, but deadly.  Help will be sent, but it will take weeks for it to reach you. Your neighbors will begin to break into homes, looking for food and water. Friends may become enemies; they will be forced to choose between helping you or feeding their families with what they find in your larder.

Your choices six weeks after the storm won’t compare in consequence to the choices you faced before.  Six weeks earlier, you would have fretted over whether to go out for Mexican food or Indian food.  After the storm, you will fret over feeding your daughter and feeding your dog.   Anything.  Even the dog may become the protein your daughter needs to survive.  Your emergency stores, the “preparedness package,” is still intact, though; you have the basics for six weeks.  You have time to think about how to get beyond the immediate horror of the aftermath.

The finance charges on the BMW, crushed and mangled in the garage, will keep mounting. The insurance companies will claim the damage to your home and your car were water-damage; that’s not covered in your policies.  The banks don’t adjust for catastrophe; you borrowed, by God, you pay. Of course even the GM of the BMW dealership will be hurt by this storm.  But the financial markets won’t factor in pain and loss and weather; they will demand you pay or suffer the consequences.  “We understand what you’re going through, but you have to understand the situation we’re in.  You need to find a way to pay; if you don’t, we will be forced to take actions to protect our investment.”  They will not be threatening just your credit, of course; there is the implied threat that your financial life will be ruined.

Somehow, though, credit and cars and nice homes will no longer matter. You may not even think about contacting the insurance company or the bank or the dealership when you awaken to the devastation.  A day after the storm, your only priority will be to find shelter for your family. Two weeks into the aftermath, the only things that will matter are stretching your supplies of food and water.  You will learn to cope with the stench.  You will learn to accept the comfort of a tarp in lieu of a roof. You will not learn to deal with your inability to feed your family.  You will not learn to cope with starvation and dehydration. You will not learn to do these things because you did prepare; you prepared for a six-week ordeal.

Fortunately for your company’s CEO, there is enough money to build an utterly storm-proof shelter.  He did it.  He spent forty million dollars, equivalent to almost a year’s salary, constructing a virtually indestructible concrete and steel fortress.  Inside, there’s an emergency food and water supply that will provide more than adequate resources for twenty people for at least two years.  Beneath the garage where he keeps four cars, including a tricked-out Hummer, there’s a ten-thousand-gallon tank filled with gasoline.

Generators will keep the power on at his enclave.  He can pick up newscasts about the devastation and he will know how long the authorities say the worst part of the aftermath will last.  He can plan his return; granted, he will have to deal with some inconveniences, but they will be tolerable.

He was able to prepare himself so well because he makes one-hundred-sixty times the pittance they pay you; your quarter-of-a-million-dollars-a-year-salary can’t begin to afford you that level of protection.  It provided a comfortable living, but it can’t do magic. Not the way $40 million can.  You have to wonder: what value does this guy bring to the company that merits getting paid 160 times what you get paid?

The woman who serves as your appointment scheduler and assistant might wonder the same thing.  You’re paid almost six times her meager $42,000 salary; she might wonder what you do to deserve that.  But she won’t wonder.  Because she doesn’t have the luxury of wondering; she will be wondering where to find her next meal, her next drink of clean water. At her salary, there just wasn’t enough to build that preparedness kit.  She made choices, though. She decided which nights she and her children would eat starchy meals without protein so she could stretch the paycheck enough to allow them to get by until the next one.   After the storm, she and her children will be homeless, left to fend for themselves in an environment that can only be described as chaotic.

For those survivors who were homeless before the storm, the aftermath will be more of the same, but worse.  Their adjustment to the experience will be a little easier for them, though, compared to you and your appointment scheduler, because it won’t be as dramatic. They will have a tougher time than you because of the scarcity of food and water, but they will be better equipped than your appointment scheduler because they have had to struggle for food and water before; they know where to look. If she’s lucky, your scheduler may connect with someone who can help her find a place to stay and resources for food and water.

Your company’s CEO probably is not heartless.  He might be callous and greedy and arrogant, but he’s not heartless.  After the storm, as soon as the banks are operational, he may make a significant cash donation to a charity working to help people most severely affected by the storm.  His $100,000 cash donation will make news, reinforcing his reputation as a rich, but deeply charitable, man.

Posted in Fiction, Philosophy | 4 Comments

A Part of the Main

There is no wider world.  We are it.  We are all we have.

Our friends, our families, our communities, the people we see each day.

We pretend to pledge allegiance to states or countries, even causes, but the reality is this: the circles that matter are small and close.

We may, and should, care about our neighbors and countrymen, but only those close to us are truly important. Whether the artificial allegiance to our country is an intentional manipulation of our minds or a natural outgrowth of our desire for community, I don’t know.  What I do know is this: it IS artificial.

What matters is what’s close by.  Family.  Community.  Friends who would cross the earth to help you in your hour of need.  The people who matter are people whose lives have touched ours in some fundamental way.  Not the people who we elect to political office.  Not the people who keep the trains running or the electricity flowing or the gasoline tanks full. Well, they matter.  But they matter in a purely pragmatic sense; they are not every man in the sense that John Donne suggested; they are not pieces of the continent.  They are not a part of the main.  But Donne was right.  Even though those closest are the only ones who really matter to us, today, the rest will matter when we don’t.

This concept, this idea that there is no wider world, runs counter to what we’ve been taught.  It is contrary to what we’ve been reared to believe, at least those of us whose parents were good progressives who claimed affinity to the Christian faith. We’ve been taught to care for everyone.  At the same time we’ve been taught to gloat as our military strikes another village, killing its inhabitants, thereby protecting us from all manner of horrors too vile to imagine.   Just the facts should inform us; someone is lying to us!  Someone is telling us a story!

I believe the natural state of humanity is to care about fellow humans.  And fellow creatures who roam the earth.  And I believe the natural state of humanity is to treat the earth and skies with dignity as we understand it.  If we don’t know our actions are fouling the planet, we’re not bad for taking those actions; we’re ignorant.  We’re not willfully attacking humanity and its supportive life forms.

John Donne engaged in wishful thinking.  He deceived himself into believing the world around him…us…mattered and that we mattered just as much.  Listening to the memorial remembrances today on the fiftieth anniversary of the assassination of John F. Kennedy, it occurred to me that a very few people will outlast their bodies.  JFK was one of them.  But he participated in a charade, too.  He, and all presidents before and since, have acted. They want us to behave as if everything is all right.  But we know it’s not.  This is humanity. There are chinks in the armour.  There’s crazy in the attitude.  There’s blood waiting to be let.  But, wait, maybe Donne said it the right way; maybe we have been interpreting it the wrong way.  Maybe what he meant was this:

No man is an island,
Entire of itself,
Every man is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thy friend’s
Or of thine own were:
Any man’s death diminishes me,
Because I am involved in mankind,
And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls;
It tolls for thee.

Posted in Philosophy | Leave a comment

House Surgery

Sink2

Newly resurfaced counter with new hardware.

The guys came Tuesday to resurface the tops of the vanities in the guest bath and  the half bath, as well as the counter of the wet bar.  I had arranged with them to come Tuesday morning, thinking I would have ample time on Sunday and Monday, after returning from our trip to Arkansas, to remove the faucets and sink hardware.

I had time, I suppose, but not the wherewithal.  When I began to attempt to remove the faucets, it became apparent I wasn’t sufficiently strong nor sufficiently limber to get the job done.  Lacking the proper tools did not help the situation. So my wife called a plumber on Monday morning.  He had a hell of a time removing the faucets; his struggles helped relieve a bit of my embarrassment at my inability to do the job.  He’s back today to replace the faucets, installing the new ones we bought to enhance appearance and functionality. It’s a good thing I didn’t decide to try to do any of this myself; he had to replace the water valves, as well. Fortunately, he had enough extra valves in his truck to do the job.

We’re doing this now to make the house more attractive to prospective buyers. That is craziness; we should have done this years ago so we could enjoy the results of this work. Instead, someone else will get the longer-term rewards (we hope, assuming the place sells when we put it on the market).  Many of the upgrades and touch-ups and painting, etc., etc. that we kept deferring until later are now being done for the benefit of someone we don’t even know, buyers who might decide they don’t want resurfaced vanities but, instead, Italian marble or polished zebra wood.

Wherever we next move, I intend to act quickly to do what I must to make the place “right” for us.  I won’t wait until I feel comfortable spending the money on the changes we want. I’ll never feel comfortable spending more money than I think a project should cost, but I’ll overcome that discomfort, getting the best price I can after doing my research to find out realistic cost ranges.

The idea of performing house surgery on our “new” place, whenever we find it, is appealing to me.  I’d rather find an old place, with good bones, in need of renovation than a new place with no experience building character.  I’ve lived in houses old and new.  Older places have coped with time and the inevitable pains that accompany aging; experience humbles them. New houses burst with the arrogance of youthful inexperience, knowing nothing of the certainty of decay.

Houses. rebuilt and repaired and restored, can reclaim their former grandeur ad infinitum. There are days I would like to parallel that capacity, Monday being one of those days.  My arthritic wrists and knees and hands wanted to be rebuilt, repaired, or restored on Monday.  Lacking the ability to have that done, I had to outsource my house surgery.  And I want to do what with our next house?

 

Posted in Aging, Housiing, Moving | Leave a comment

Melancholia

I wonder why melancholy sometimes overtakes us without warning?  No precipitating event, just a rush of sadness that paints everything with a wash of tears.  Vague regrets, unknown losses, and unspoken yet unmet hopes and dreams combine to fill the heart with a mist of sadness. Perhaps we need these periods of angst; maybe we need these spots of gloom to balance the brief episodes of joy that buoy our spirits with impossible promise.

When those brief periods of angst persist for too long, even joy weathers into chalky grey. That is why people who volunteer to be friends and companions to the lonely and alone are saints.  Not saints in the religious sense, but saints in the sense of humanity personified. How do we even know when someone needs a helping hand?  How do we know when a smile hides pain or heartache?

Cries for help are discouraged.  We say we want to “be there” for others in need, but the tensions we feel in crisis send an altogether different message; “we are here to help, as long as it’s not too uncomfortable or embarrassing.”

Is it just me?  Are people better than I think?  Am I better than I let on?  I wish I were, but I think I’m an average person who wishes to be good but fails at every turn, like the rest of us.  And, no, this is not the opportune time to suggest I turn to Jesus.

Here it is again.  That stream of consciousness BS in rare form.

Posted in Depression | 2 Comments

Amethyst

Part of the ALMA array on the Chajnantor plateau of Chile points skyward to the Milky Way, our own galaxy. The center of our galaxy is visible as a yellowish bulge crossed by dark lanes, which are themselves huge clouds of interstellar dust.

Photo from NPR Blog post by Marcelo Gleiser, credited to José Francisco Salgado

This morning, I read a post on a National Public Radio (NPR) blog, entitled “Why We (Should) All Love The Stars.” The text was interesting, but not stunning.  The photograph above, though, was moving in ways words probably cannot express.  But I’ll try.

The moment I saw the image, I was transported back to a specific moment in time.  I was a student attending Montclair Elementary School in Corpus Christi, Texas.  I guess I must have been in third or fourth grade.  Our class was on a field trip to a science museum in downtown Corpus Christi; I don’t remember which one and don’t know if it’s still there.

My memories of that moment are incomplete, but I recall enough detail to know it was an important moment to me at the time. A women, possibly a volunteer or museum staff member, was showing us rocks and minerals and explaining how they formed.  A few particularly beautiful objects caught my attention. They were beautiful and mysterious, one a set of large, angular purple crystals and the other a geode, cut in half and polished. Inside the geode was a bed of tiny purple crystals.  I don’t remember many other details of the experience, but I recall that the woman took a particular interest in me and spent time talking to me about the crystals.  She said looking into the geode was like looking back in time; she asked me to look into the center of the geode and imagine I was looking at a million stars in the night sky, the light of which was millions of years old.

When I saw the photograph of the ALMA Array against the incredibly beautiful sky, I instantly thought of what that woman said. Now, fifty-plus years later, I think she was telling me the crystals were just as mysterious as the stars.  And they were. And they are.

It was amethyst.

Posted in Nature | 6 Comments

Incomprehensible Beauty

Flower3
Flower1
A field of flowers may be lovely, but a single bloom can be incomprehensively beautiful. When I look closely at just one blossom, ignoring everything around it, I am utterly awestruck. The subtle variations in color, the complexity of elaborate textures melding into one another, and the extraordinary delicacy of each part of the flower are amazing.  The only way to capture the beauty of the thing for others to see is to take a photo or to paint it; I can do neither particularly well, but the camera is a better friend to me than the paintbrush.  I decided to preserve the experience of viewing these blooms the best way I could, with a camera.

So, here is my version, close-up, of the stunning beauty of a tiny piece of nature.

Posted in Nature | 3 Comments