Author Archives: John Swinburn

About John Swinburn

"Love not what you are but what you may become."― Miguel de Cervantes

Try

The crepe myrtles near the street did not get trimmed as I intended in February, thanks to my mind being on other things. Despite that oversight, the largest of the street-side trees/bushes display beautiful, bright red—almost cherry-red—flowers. Had the plants … Continue reading

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Wading

Just as walking through the lobby of a swank hotel with a dagger clinched between one’s  jaws is not necessarily threatening to the hotel’s patrons, revealing one’s harmless curiosity about another person’s private thoughts or behaviors can appear anything but … Continue reading

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Strata

StoryCorps, one of the many programs I listen to on NPR, almost invariably moves me emotionally. Simple stories that emphasize the importance and value of human connections tend to make me focus on important matters that are easy to overlook … Continue reading

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You

Wisdom shatters in the cold reality of political turmoil. Politics goes beyond simply excusing dishonesty and dishonor. That parasitic profession encourages, embraces, and rewards depravity. Fueled by fear and by the lust for money and power (that is, greed), the … Continue reading

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Remembrance and Recall

This is one of those stubborn early mornings—the sort of introduction to daylight hours that promises a full day of argumentative thoughts. Every opinion…every idea, every emotion… will slam into fierce opposition. And those opposing positions will encounter equally steadfast … Continue reading

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More Intricacies of Living

Every aspect of living is immeasurably complex. Somewhere online I came across an assertion that there are approximately 18 decillion colors (that figure is represented by an 18 followed by 33 zeros) available for our eyes to distinguish between. Glancing … Continue reading

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Caustic News

Two hours have passed since I woke. I am newly tired and bursting with hunger. Whether sleep or food proves more appealing remains to be seen. My most recent chemo treatment lived/lives up to the unpleasant reputations long-enjoyed by chemotherapy. … Continue reading

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Pondering People and Places

Living at the end of a cul-de-sac in a mixed hardwood and pine forest satisfies my craving for solitude. But when that craving has been fully met for an extended period, I sometimes long for human interaction. That yearning for … Continue reading

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When

The planned half-hour visit at the oncology center this afternoon is being extended to 2 hours +/-. More fluids and magnesium and something to minimize the joint and muscle pain. Chemo apparently impacts patients in different ways, so every visit … Continue reading

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Shaking Out the Cobwebs

What should occupy one’s mind at any given moment? The answer, regardless of what it is, consists of a judgment. What “should” happen now? What “should” happen next? Depending on my mood, my response might begin by defining “should.” must; … Continue reading

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Stormy

The aches and pains and upset stomach are lingering far too long. But they could last even longer. I read answers to this question posed on an American Cancer Society website, “How long does it take for Taxol side effects … Continue reading

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Moonscape

A quick look at the websites of the New York Times, NPR, Associated Press, etc., etc. has left me thoroughly unimpressed with this morning’s news. And Facebook disappoints me, as usual. So does CNN. And damn near everything else delivered … Continue reading

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Fragments

A short while ago, mi novia persuaded me to cancel this morning’s scheduled appointment for my car’s maintenance, insisting I should not be driving in my condition. Though my joint pain and body aches are not as bad as they … Continue reading

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Damn Pain

The side effects of the latest round of chemo treatments (including taxol) took two days to hit me. And when they hit, they hit quite hard. By mid-afternoon on Saturday, my knees started to ache; a couple of hours later, … Continue reading

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Frayed Nerves

Starting over. The thought of beginning a new chapter in one’s life prompts feelings of both excitement and fear. The idea simultaneously is inviting and daunting. But starting over is more than beginning a new chapter. Starting over erases old … Continue reading

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Do Not Drown

I hoped for a shorter-than-advertised session with the oncologist yesterday. Hope is wasted energy. We arrived at 8:45 a.m. We left the oncology center at 5:20 p.m. I know little more now than I did when I arrived. Apparently, though, … Continue reading

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Answers Again

Today will be a long one at the oncology center. My patient portal indicates I will be there for five-and-a-half hours; my hope is that it will not take that long. But the Taxol (brand name for Paclitaxel) infusion alone, … Continue reading

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Reality, Viewed Separately Together

Apathy once was of great concern to almost everyone. But nobody cares anymore. That’s just one more deeply-fatigued manipulation of a time-worn play on words. Uniqueness in creativity becomes harder to achieve with every new-born baby. Babies are not simply … Continue reading

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Shallow Pools

I do not hear the buzzing or ringing or pounding in my ears. Instead, I feel them inside me; in my head, in my chest, in my legs, everywhere. They can be loud, but not loud in the traditional aural … Continue reading

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All the Corners

The morning hours are mine, alone, today. Yet the sense I am in control—that I have power over my direction—still eludes me. Intrusive thoughts, tearing through my brain like a runaway locomotive, twist hard steel rails into thin, flaccid fibers. … Continue reading

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Jejune

If Brit-Box is a model of experience in England, a number of villages and significant areas of the English countryside are awash in murder. And, if Netflix reflects the legislative landscape throughout Scandinavia, that part of the world seethes with … Continue reading

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Mostly Talk

Some people are natural conversationalists. Some of us are not. Those of us who are not sometimes are labeled timid, quiet, reserved, dim-witted, private…the list goes on. Sometimes, the labels are radically different: pounce-ready, silently seething, brilliantly-murderous, pre-explosive, drenched in … Continue reading

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Ruminarian

History gives us a preview—a warning—of the future that awaits us if we ignore the lessons of experience. When we are the targets of that cautionary advice, we ignore it at our peril. Our disregard invites the repetition of past … Continue reading

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Looking Inside My Lungs

According to a couple of demographers (Toshiko Kaneda and Carl Haub), who updated an earlier estimate in 2022, 109 billion of people have lived and died since 190,000 BCE. Counting the additional people alive as of their updated 2022 estimate, … Continue reading

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Complaints About Gratitude

My good fortune is almost boundless, especially compared to the circumstances confronting million and millions of my fellow Earthlings. But, still, I complain about the difficulties I face. With all those difficulties, I should not have to acknowledge the bounties … Continue reading

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