Author Archives: John Swinburn

Most people experience the world around them as normal.  While a farmer friend in a distant state expresses appreciation for good weather and a productive growing season, a friend in a distant country is grateful that the latest barrage of … Continue reading →

Sunday night, just before bedtime, I realized I was scheduled for two MRIs (lumbar and thoracic) early the next morning. So, we left the house at 6:15 yesterday morning to make my appointments. The rest of the day is a … Continue reading →

There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love. ~ Washington … Continue reading →

The idea of assimilating immigrants into American life is just as delusional as assimilating American immigrants into Ugandan life.  In neither case does one culture absorb one group into the other. Rather, the native cultures must adapt and accommodate the … Continue reading →

Some of the most dangerous people are those who are intellectually stunted and indoctrinated in extreme, regressive conservatism. Absolutely the most dangerous, though, are those who have a superior intellect and who are indoctrinated in extreme, regressive conservatism. The phrase, … Continue reading →

My disappointment at waking late again was tempered this morning by a breakfast of carrot cake. And I look forward to more cake and an assortment of other tasty delights for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, I had to … Continue reading →

The thoughts rattling around in my head this morning are interesting but irrelevant. For example, how many times can one halve the distance between two objects before the objects physically touch one another? Logic tells me they will never touch, … Continue reading →

Years ago, my late wife and I took a train from St. Paul, Minnesota to Whitefish, Montana. I do not remember what motivated us to take that route, nor what we wanted to see during the few days we stayed … Continue reading →

The human body presents obstacles to reverence. Numerous innate flaws interfere with our abilities to fully experience awe in its most spectacular forms. At best, our eyes only hint at what the visual world might offer if their acuity equaled … Continue reading →

Greed and the thirst for power are symptoms…symptoms of a mental disorder actively cultivated by people who mistake wealth for intrinsic value and possessions for worth. Neither that mental disorder nor my interpretation of the symptoms that emerge from it … Continue reading →

Mi novia called my oncologist’s office yesterday to report that I was weak and my blood pressure was quite low again—and to ask whether I should return for more IV fluids. A return call from the cancer center advised me … Continue reading →

I want to spend hours alone, applying brilliant colors and muted greys and browns to a large, stretched, artist’s canvas. The reason I need solitude while I paint is not absolutely clear; I know only that I feel a need … Continue reading →

After three consecutive nights of insufficient sleep, I woke this morning feeling utterly exhausted—despite the fact that I slept for at least five hours during the day yesterday. I have to stay awake this morning because I have an appointment … Continue reading →

Yesterday morning, I relaxed on the deck as delicate streams of smoke rose from a burning cone of incense, forming elaborate swirls in the nearly-still air. I caught a glimpse of movement on the road, through the trees below and … Continue reading →

Too much time has passed since I enjoyed the aroma of a burning cone of patchouli incense. There’s something about that smell that helps improve my outlook on life. But the odor of incense—whether patchouli or something else entirely—is off-putting … Continue reading →

Once again, I chose not to go to church this morning. Though I feel reasonably good this morning, the fact that my chemotherapy side-effects could blossom at any moment (coupled with advice to minimize social situations that could expose me … Continue reading →

Women and people of color and minorities have had to deal with socially-imposed constraints for millennia, I suspect. Men, to a much lesser extent, are expected to accept limits on their experiences and behaviors, as well. Most such restrictions placed … Continue reading →

Hope is a wish unassisted by action. Hope sometimes is the only crutch, though, that will allow a person to stand or even to sit upright. Wishes supported by action are more effective than hope, but only if the actions … Continue reading →

Mi novia is extending a kindness to someone who needs help this morning, so I will drive myself to visit the oncologist for today’s chemo-treatment. If I felt the need, I could ask any of several friends who have offered … Continue reading →

Suddenly, my Facebook feed is awash in commercial posts/advertisements offering (for a fee) advice and support for people with lung cancer. I suspect I recently must have opened a random post about lung cancer. That would have led Facebook‘s sophisticated … Continue reading →

Most of my life, my hands have looked like the chubby, pudgy hands of a child. Neither bones nor tendons nor veins were visible beneath their plump skin. I cannot recall precisely when the appearance of my hands began to … Continue reading →

The sounds of high winds and heavy rains confirmed that we were experiencing the effects of a powerful squall. Darkness, though, prevented us from seeing tree trunks bend and limbs twist in response. Lacking the ability to see what was … Continue reading →

Cats feign affection when it suits them—that is, when affecting affection might lead to satisfying their selfish desires. Feline affection is a strategy, not a genuine emotion. Dogs, on the other hand, tend to fall in love quickly and completely. … Continue reading →

When long-dormant memories surface unexpectedly, they sometimes reveal a personality that no longer exists in its original form. Regardless of how much time and experience have eroded those memories since they were first recorded—and subsequently erased—kernels of that abandoned personality … Continue reading →

Instead of the oncologist’s APRN, I saw the oncologist yesterday. She explained planned changes to my treatment regimen, beginning with next week’s chemo injections. The negative side effects of the drugs used thus far were largely behind the change. Once … Continue reading →