History gives us a preview—a warning—of the future that awaits us if we ignore the lessons of experience. When we are the targets of that cautionary advice, we ignore it at our peril. Our disregard invites the repetition of past mistakes, modified and molded to suit a new time and new circumstances. More often than not, we acknowledge too late the messages that history provides. Is our proclivity toward repeating experiential mistakes a product of our stupidity, our arrogance, or both? Or is it simply a matter of failing to understand the differences between then and now are merely cosmetic?
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Friends invited us over for a wonderful meal yesterday. We enjoyed the feast they prepared and had a great time sitting and talking with them. As is often the case of late, though, I ran out of steam rather early. I understand that the processes of tests and treatments take their toll on my energy, but these latest rounds of frequent and sudden fatigue are becoming extremely annoying. I would have liked to have stayed and talked for hours, but my declining stamina insisted I should go home and recline on the loveseat. Once there, I found it impossible to stay awake and alert for long; I think I was in bed by nine. I woke many times during the night and finally decided, around 3, to get up and go about my day. Two hours have passed since I shuffled out to the kitchen. I may not write much more on this post, at least for now, because another wave of fatigue is washing over me. I sleep too much, but then when I try to stay awake, I learn I just have to acquiesce to whatever it is that requires me to nap, rest, sleep, whatever.
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This blog, long an outlet for my creativity, has become a whine-site—an outlet for my complaints about anything and everything. I tire of it. I want to return to writing snippets of fiction—scenes that I might later weave into the fabric of stories (except for losing interest in them after a short time…is it ADHD?). If I cannot force myself to focus more time on writing, I will just have to dedicate my energies to ruling the world. “My energies?” I might need to limit the territory over which I seek control to the end of the driveway and work on the rest of the world later.
