March 14: Thoughts for the Day

“…the best thing one can do when it is raining is let it rain.”
~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

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Come What May

It’s the uncertainty that amplifies, or maybe even creates, the stress.  It’s the uncertainty that each link in the chain of events will hold tight.  It’s the uncertainty that the underlying assumptions are solid and based on good information.  It’s the uncertainty that emotions have neither blinded us to realities nor highlighted unimportant things that should not play important roles in making decisions.

The uncertainties to which I refer here are the uncertainties associated with selling a house and then buying another one located five and a half hours away.

In the case of the sale, it started with the uncertainty of whether the house would sell, and at what price.  And then it involved the uncertainty of the inspection process and whether it could  uncover something of which we knew nothing, but which could scuttle the sale or cost too much to correct.  And then it continued, and continues, with the uncertainty of whether the appraisal will be sufficient to satisfy the buyers’ lender so they can proceed to closing.  And there were many, many other uncertainties along the way.  Fortunately, so far, everything has sailed along smoothly, but uncertainties will remain until the closing is complete and the funds are transferred into our account.  And as long as there are uncertainties, there is stress.

In the case of the purchase, it started with the uncertainty of whether the community we had selected is the right one.  That uncertainty is not one that will disappear in a matter of weeks, nor even months; it will linger until we know we love our new community or not. Beyond that lingering uncertainty, though, other uncertainties abounded.  Would we find a house that suited us adequately?  Would it be affordable?  Would we reach a mutually satisfactory price?  And the uncertainties continue: the uncertainty about the inspection and whether it will uncover flaws that the seller will be willing to correct before closing. The uncertainty of whether the new survey will uncover complexities of some unknown type. And there’s the uncertainty of the move itself…the packing, the shipping, the storage, the condition of our goods as they are unpacked.  There’s the uncertainty, too, of whether we will be able to find a short-term furnished rental in which to live while we jump from one closing to the next.

I told my wife last night I was working to shed myself of worries over matters over which I have no control.  That is an admirable attitude (in my opinion), but one which is far harder to implement than to intend.   As I sit writing about these uncertainties this morning, I am doing my best to shed the stress that accompanies them.

Regardless of what evolves in this long and laborious process, all we can do is deal with things as they come.  Things will work out, one way or another.  I just hope they work out so that, by the first day of May, I can relax and reminisce about the process as I sit on my deck while gazing into the wooded hills toward the horizon.

Posted in Housiing, Moving | 1 Comment

March 13: Thoughts for the Day

Packing to move, ones realizes there’s a price to be paid for every instance in which one succumbs to the temptation to acquire something.  I begin to suspect an austere lifestyle can offer rewards.

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March 12: Thoughts for the Day

I learned something yesterday; furniture whose style is far from the styles I usually find appealing can be stunning.  That’s probably true of a lot of matters of taste: art, food, music, etc.  There is an important lesson in this realization.

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March 11: Thoughts for the Day

Sometime, when I go to a greengrocer, I look around and silently give thanks for farmers. Then I realize I am even more thankful for vegetables.

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March 10: Thoughts for the Day

Comfort is a welcome relief from the stresses of daily life.

Too much comfort, though, can anesthetize a person, making it impossible to fully comprehend the reality of daily life.

I think it’s wise, when experiencing the comfort of the moment, to deliberately constrast that comfort with its opposite.  By doing so, one can more fully appreciate the comfort, while simultaneously grounding oneself to reality.

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March 9: Thoughts for the Day

Having recently read some advice for people who are just beginning to practice meditation, it occurs to me that meditation is a natural practice in which humans have engaged for millennia.  We focus on something…anything, really…and allow our minds to settle, very gently.  It relieves stress and promotes calmness.  I will write more about meditation as my experience with it enables me to better understand it.

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March 8: Thoughts for the Day

Devoting just a few minutes, early in the morning, to productive work around the household is a rewarding way to start the day.  It takes so little effort, yet pays such handsome dividends.

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March 7: Thoughts for the Day

I think it’s possible the sun will erupt any moment into a massive explosion, consuming all the planets in its orbit and, of course, obliterating all the life found there.  With that having been said, nothing really matters, does it?  Or it is just the opposite?  Everything, and every second, is precious.

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Reboot

There have been times when I’ve exercised consistent self-discipline and there have been times when I’ve indulged myself in slothful laziness.  I always feel better, and feel better about myself, when I have exercised consistent self-discipline.  I felt better, physically, when I walked a couple of miles or more, every day, whether I felt like it or not.  I felt better, mentally, when I wrote more than a few sentences, every day, whether I felt up to the challenge or not.

Lately, I’ve allowed myself to become undisciplined about my walking and about my writing.  I’ve  permitted myself to say “tomorrow” instead of “today,” which is evidence of a lack of commitment.  I’ve had plenty of reasons…justifications, excuses…for letting my discipline lapse.  Cold weather. Ice. Arthritis. Lethargy.  I have hundreds of excuses, just waiting to be called on when required.  But, why?  If I feel better when I exercise self-discipline, why don’t I exercise it?

The simple answer, I suppose, is that it’s easy.  It’s easy to be inert.  It’s takes a little more effort to start the process that leads toward feeling better mentally and physically.  Yet, that’s a poor excuse.  But then all excuses are just that, poor excuses.

If this post were going where I might expect (if someone else where writing it), the next statement would be something to the effect that “tomorrow starts today” or “there’s no time like the present to change one’s life.”  But that is not where this post is going. Instead, it’s going to give me permission to put off at least one component of getting back on the self-discipline train.  I am giving myself permission to be inconsistent about walking regularly until mid-April.  But no longer.  By April 15, I will return to a daily regimen of walking…or some other exercise that will get my blood pumping and use my muscles and shed calories.  And I will publicly report my progress in my Thoughts for the Day. I suppose you’d call this shaming myself into self-discipline; well, I use the tools available to get the job done!  I have reasons (and I won’t call them excuses, because they are legitimate) for giving myself some latitude here; I know when to mix a little honey with the vinegar.

The second part, the writing, is already under way.  I may not be quite so public about it, but I will record my progress with enough regularity to show myself, and anyone else who cares to know, just how I’m doing.

I’ve failed at this sort of thing before.  I don’t like failing.  I won’t fail at this sort of thing again.

Posted in Self-discipline, Sloth | 7 Comments

March 6: Thoughts for the Day

As I walk through my house, I see an assortment of things. For each thing, I easily can imagine my life without it: I can do without that sofa, that chair, that lamp, that book, that photo, that table, that glass, that plate.  What, then, makes it hard to shed oneself of things? It’s simply state of mind; transfer thoughts of individual things to the collection of things.  Once that state of mind is recognized, it becomes far easier to be done with the tyranny of things.

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March 5: Thoughts for the Day

It is fruitless to compare one’s life to the life of someone else; they are not comparable.  No one else can live my life, nor can I live anyone else’s life. It’s best to be satisfied with the life I have, for I cannot have any other.

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Old Man in the Morning

Sitting at my desk
fumbling with the mouse,
forcing the computer
to tell me stories.

Clicking on a link,
finding it dull,
searching for another
to tell the right tale.

Who would think a man
growing older would
behave this way,
searching for answers?

If you could see me
at my daily silliest
you’d wonder if I’m
really this old.

My wife sees me at
my worst and still
loves me every day
more than I deserve.

It’s this time of day
that lets me think
about such things
and relish them.

No, it’s not the time
of day that lets me
daydream and wonder
about the wonder of life.

It’s just good
fortune and a wife
who puts up with an
old man in the morning.

Posted in Poetry | 6 Comments

March 4: Thoughts for the Day

Without splinters under the skin, we’d not know how good it feels when they’re gone. I’m glad to have experienced splinters, but happier that those I’ve known have moved on to other things.

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10 Painfully Obvious Truths Everyone Forgets Too Soon

The title of this post is not mine; it’s the title of someone else’s post I find especially insightful.  So, I won’t attempt to say in my own words what they’ve already said.  I’ll just incorporate their words directly here.

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March 3: Thoughts for the Day

Day before yesterday, I watched a large flock of small birds perform amazing group acrobatics in the sky.  The birds seemed to be one large undulating mass of dots, moving first one direction, then turning sharply in another.  As this mass of coordinated feathers moved through the air, the density of the mass grew then shrank then grew again, seeming at times to be a dark disk, then becoming almost invisible as the light caught it differently as it made a sharp turn.  Members of human society are unable to adjust and adapt as quickly as those birds.  We would be far better off if we could.

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The Fight

I went to first grade at Menger Elementary School in Corpus Christi, Texas. It was my first exposure to life outside the home, by myself, with no parents or siblings there to keep me from harm.

There’s very little I remember about that first year of school, but I have vague recollections of getting into a fight with a sixth-grader who, if memory serves me, was much smaller than most other sixth-graders.  What gave rise to the fight I don’t know, but I suspect it had something to do with whose turn it was to use playground equipment, becauwse the fight took place outside, on the playground.  My guess is that the kid was too small to stand his ground with kids his own age, so he picked someone smaller.  And I was the one.

Or  I may have instigated the battle; it may have been me who decided I could take on an older kid who was smaller than the other ones; I may have decided to assert my alpha malehood against an easy target.

Whatever it was, a fight broke out between us and I got the upper hand.  My teacher, Mrs. Corbett, intervened and dragged me away from the turmoil.  She told my mother I had been beating up another kid, a much older kid.  I was chastised about the event, I think, but I have very dim memories of pride, both within myself and from others, that I stood up to an older kid.  It’s a bit troubling, the sense that there was pride in the mix, with regard to me getting into a fight.

I wish I remembered more about this one little episode in my first year of school.  The fact that I remember it at all must mean it had a  lifelong impact on my psyche, but lacking a proper memory of the details of the event, I don’t know just what the impact has been.

If the impactful moments of one’s life are indelibly etched in one’s memories, it would be so incredibly interesting to dredge up those memories and experience them, analyze them, and attempt to understand how the events of one’s life shaped future perceptions and experiences.

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March 2: Thoughts for the Day

Stress is invisible but it exists nonetheless.  I have evidence of it; early to bed last night and later than normal to arise this morning.  It’s either stress or it’s evidence that I’ve been taxing my bones and muscles beyond their comfort zones; and my body is responding with a demand for rest.   If it’s the latter, it’s about time I broke free of my coach-potato cocoon! Today, though, I will allow myself to rest a bit more.  Whether it’s stress or a demand for rest from overuse, my body is insisting on a bit more of a respite.

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Comfort

Last night, as I considered what to keep and what to give away in preparation for our impending move, I was struck by the duality of my emotions about this change.

I am ready, I think, to explore new ways of being me; I may have become too comfortable and perhaps I need to be challenged and stretched.  Maybe, as the cliché goes, I need to “move outside my comfort zone.”  But I have grown accustomed to that comfort.  It fits me like a pair of old jeans, worn and washed so often their softness is like a caress.  There’s nothing wrong with comfort, so long as it doesn’t anesthetize one from feeling and empathizing with the discomfort of those who don’t share in that good fortune.

Yet, comfort can be a silent anesthetic.  Without realizing it, you can slip into a state of self-indulgence.  When I think of anesthetics, I think of a time I spend in the ER of a local hospital, thanks to an unknown malady that caused excruciating pain in my neck and shoulder.  To lessen the pain, the nurses gave me a dose of morphine.  It didn’t work, so I asked for more.  It didn’t work, so I begged for still more.  I awoke later, in a state of euphoria, utterly oblivious to the pain in my neck and shoulder and oblivious to the stress and fear my wife experienced—she had not known exactly where I was and could not reach me.  But the anesthetic made that fact matter little.

I ask myself what I want more, new experiences or more comfort?  And I answer: it doesn’t matter what you want, it’s what you need and your wife needs that matters.  So, my emotions dance around, gravitating first toward the new experience and then slipping back toward the comfort.

But I realize it’s not just comfort.  It’s seventeen years of building a life in a place where we have a few friends.  I’m not one to have many friends, but the few I have are important to me.  Having friends is not just comfort; it’s life.  So leaving friends, even leaving them to explore new opportunities, is hard.  It’s not just discomfort; it’s deeper than that.

Yet, leaving the seventeen-year edifice we’ve built does not mean tearing down friendships.  Those will last.  It just means shifting locations.  Finding new friends.  Building a new edifice.  Growing a new life, yet keeping the old one close.

Why do I get maudlin over such stuff?  It’s a trait I find more than mildly annoying, but only in myself.

Posted in Friendship, Moving, Philosophy | 2 Comments

March 1: Thoughts for the Day

The first day of March augurs change.  The winter season is ending, of course, but another season is ending, as well.  A seventeen-year season of living in north Dallas in a home too big for two average people, but just right for two people who value and need their private space, their private time.  Yes, we’ve lived here seventeen years, longer than we’ve lived in any other one place. We’ve made our mark on our home and we’ve really come to love its open space and all its windows, letting in so much light when light is what we need.

With all we like about the house, it’s not what we want now.  Now, we want to be in a different place, doing different things, living a different experience.  So we’re preparing to leave.

The buyers of our house have arranged for the home inspection for today.  I didn’t know home inspections were conducted on Saturdays; learn something new every day.  The sale-purchase process has a strange life all its own, I suppose.  I look forward to getting it behind us so we can move on to new things. I like knowing we’ll have more freedom, at least in the short-term, in not having a house.  But we’ll have selected a place to be and a place to live by the time the closing takes place, won’t we?  Or maybe we’ll just put our furniture in storage and hit the road for a while. Today, I don’t know just what we’ll do the week after closing.  But I look forward to it.  And to the months and years thereafter.

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February 28: Thoughts for the Day

When trees begin to bud, when traces of green peek through the straw-colored mat of the Winter lawn, when the chill in the air melds into the bright warmth of sunlight, Spring is days or weeks away.  It’s one of the best times of the year.

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February 27: Thoughts for the Day

Today will be an exceptional day, full of excitement and newness.   Good things will happen today. The power of positive thinking is more than a wish; it is a fact.  That is not to say miracles happen; but, good things happen to make the idea of miracles appealing!

Good day, my friends.   Today WILL be a good day!

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Dust

What, exactly, is dust? Is the dust in a dust storm the same as dust in a home?  I think not. At least not entirely.  From what I’ve read, at least some portion of dust found in the house comes from living (and dead, decomposing bodies) dust mites, along with dead skin cells, human hair, among other things.  Dust storms, on the other hand, apparently don’t contain a lot of dust mite corpses.

Though it’s not scientific and I have nothing other than anecdotal evidence to support it, my theory is that house dust is far greater in houses with carpet.  I suspect that carpet has far more surface area where dust can find a home, compared to solid surface floors, so any mite corpses that find their way to a carpeted floor tend to fall between the carpet fibers and collect there.  The dust mite bodies that fall on a hard-surface floor may get blown away by air circulation caused by human  movement.  Vacuuming carpet does not get to as many dust mite bodies as does mopping a hard-surface floor, so there are more dust mite corpses littering a carpeted floor than there are on a hard-surface floor.  At least that’s my contention.

I wonder if there’s a book about dust?  You know, a book that really explains dust…but does it in a way that’s interesting.  I haven’t looked for such a book.  If it hasn’t been written, maybe it’s about time someone started writing it.  Any volunteers?

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February 26: Thoughts for the Day

At 4:00 in the morning, what else does one have to do but drink coffee and wonder about zoosemiotics? This morning, that is what I am doing. The consideration of zoosemiotics began when I saw a photo of a dog that appeared to me to be smiling. I’ve heard it said before that the term “smile” is incorrect to describe the facial expression of a dog, but I wanted to explore the idea. So I began investigating. That investigation led me to zoosemiotics. I am not sufficiently alert to retain all there is to absorb on the topic, so I’ll leave it for now; but this Thought for the Day may one day serve as a reminder to me to take it up again.

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February 25: Thoughts for the Day

I have a thin, slow-growing beard that will never give me impressive facial hair.  But I consider that a blessing.  Outside the traditional workforce, I can get away with shaving every two or even three days.  I like that.  But I would like it even more if I could go a week or more without shaving.  Well, I could.  But my thin, slow-growing beard would look (and feel) hideous.  So I am quite satisfied to shave ever other day or so.  It feels so good to be newly shaved; I love the smoothness of my face and neck when the razor has just done its job.   I realize this sensation is absolutely decadent.  I am grateful for my life, that I can experience the luxury of a new, clean shave, on a schedule that suits me.

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