It’s the uncertainty that amplifies, or maybe even creates, the stress. It’s the uncertainty that each link in the chain of events will hold tight. It’s the uncertainty that the underlying assumptions are solid and based on good information. It’s the uncertainty that emotions have neither blinded us to realities nor highlighted unimportant things that should not play important roles in making decisions.
The uncertainties to which I refer here are the uncertainties associated with selling a house and then buying another one located five and a half hours away.
In the case of the sale, it started with the uncertainty of whether the house would sell, and at what price. And then it involved the uncertainty of the inspection process and whether it could uncover something of which we knew nothing, but which could scuttle the sale or cost too much to correct. And then it continued, and continues, with the uncertainty of whether the appraisal will be sufficient to satisfy the buyers’ lender so they can proceed to closing. And there were many, many other uncertainties along the way. Fortunately, so far, everything has sailed along smoothly, but uncertainties will remain until the closing is complete and the funds are transferred into our account. And as long as there are uncertainties, there is stress.
In the case of the purchase, it started with the uncertainty of whether the community we had selected is the right one. That uncertainty is not one that will disappear in a matter of weeks, nor even months; it will linger until we know we love our new community or not. Beyond that lingering uncertainty, though, other uncertainties abounded. Would we find a house that suited us adequately? Would it be affordable? Would we reach a mutually satisfactory price? And the uncertainties continue: the uncertainty about the inspection and whether it will uncover flaws that the seller will be willing to correct before closing. The uncertainty of whether the new survey will uncover complexities of some unknown type. And there’s the uncertainty of the move itself…the packing, the shipping, the storage, the condition of our goods as they are unpacked. There’s the uncertainty, too, of whether we will be able to find a short-term furnished rental in which to live while we jump from one closing to the next.
I told my wife last night I was working to shed myself of worries over matters over which I have no control. That is an admirable attitude (in my opinion), but one which is far harder to implement than to intend. As I sit writing about these uncertainties this morning, I am doing my best to shed the stress that accompanies them.
Regardless of what evolves in this long and laborious process, all we can do is deal with things as they come. Things will work out, one way or another. I just hope they work out so that, by the first day of May, I can relax and reminisce about the process as I sit on my deck while gazing into the wooded hills toward the horizon.
John, think your best bet is to stick with your philosophy you’d spoken to Janine. Worrying about things that haven’t even come to pass is only useful for losing a lot of sleep and jangling your nerves. As you’d said, things will work out one way or another, and you want to feel your best for that! I’ve got a good feeling about your move, actually ever since you began to put the wheels in motion! Tally-ho!!