June 14: Thoughts for the Day

Is it possible to have peace without war? Is it possible to have war without peace? We seem to think of a dichotomy where none exists in reality; it exists only in our minds. The idea that we engage in war to secure our peace is absurd. We engage in war because we are unwilling to address a sea of differences in a peaceful way. We engage in war because we choose not to find peaceful means of coming to grips with fundamental differences in the our way of perceiving the world versus the way others see it.

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June 13: Thoughts for the Day

“Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds, or bends with the remover to remove.”

I have read or spoken or thought of those words almost every day for 34 years and some. Shakespeare’s Sonnet 116. The Unitarian minister read it, at my behest, at my wedding 34 years ago. My wife didn’t mind.

There was something so powerful, so permanent, in those words.They meant something to me. Times change. But some things don’t. Shakespeare is a man for the ages. Don’t we all wish, just a little, we were Shakespeare? I know I do. I wish my words were as eloquent and as enduring as his.

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Graveyards

Graveyards are peaceful places, on the surface. They are places of reflection and introspection. There was a time when even the worst of humanity would treat graveyards the way they would treat chapels; with dignity and reverence and, indeed, fear. Even today, though, in these times when it seems nothing is sacred, graveyards generally are peaceful. Beneath their tranquility and solemnity, though, they are boiling cauldrons of emotion gone awry. Don’t send your children there. They will never come back.

I wrote this on August 12, 2012.  Not that it matters.

Posted in Creativity, Fiction | 4 Comments

Mundanity

If today goes as planned, a new air conditioning system will be installed.  We’ve been in our house for about a month and a half and we will, finally, have a working AC.  I hope.  Not that it has been awful without it.  The weather has been cooperative, for the most part, with only a couple of days of heat-related discomfort.  The discomfort we have felt has involved very high humidity and the accompanying stickiness of bodies, floors, countertops, and windows.  Once the AC is working properly and the humidity in the house has been drawn down, a good cleaning of every surface will be in order, especially the hardwood floors.

While I stay home to ride herd on the AC installers, my favorite wife plans to spend the day wandering the mall and shops in Hot Springs; she’s still looking for odds and ends needed to finish decorating the house.

Tomorrow, we’ll both attend a meeting of the Hot Springs Village Audubon Society, where we’ll hear a program about hummingbirds.

And then, I’ll see about buying or renting a heavy-duty sander.  Our decks are in dire need of rehabilitation.  Based on what I’ve read about “rescue” and “restore” products for decks, the best bet is to avoid them and, instead, sand the boards down to bare wood and use an opaque stain to seal the wood and protect it against weather. Had I looked more carefully when we were buying the place, I would have lowered our offer even more than we did.  Hindsight.  Ach.

 

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June 12: Thoughts for the Day

Happy birthday to my brother, brother!

It is unproductive to worry.  Optimism is an art worth perfecting.

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The Troubles

His name, his last name, was Truman.  He went by a number of given names, depending on his mood and his audience.  Leonard. James. Springer. Arcadio. Guerra. Obsidian. Switch. There were others.  Many others. His long-expired New Mexico driver’s license read “James Springer Truman.” But the birth certificate, a forgery he kept in a small, fireproof safe in the trunk of his car, read “Springer James Truman.” His parole records from the Florida Department of Corrections were even further afield.  They were for the release of an inmate named “Robert Gaylord Sisk.”

The birth certificate asserted, correctly, he was brought into this world at St. Joseph’s Hospital in Glace Bay, Nova Scotia on December 11, 1943, son of Everett Clancy Truman and Maria Elena Rosario Truman.  When asked about his parents, which was rarely, Truman said his father had worked for a Glace Bay coal company and his mother had “retired early into housewifery after spending time in a convent.” Truman occasionally spoke of his own early years working as a bookkeeper’s apprentice in the colliery office, posting miners’ monthly contributions for health care services. Those monthly payments entitled miners to free treatment at St. Joseph’s Hospital, he said.

The story of Truman’s later years, after leaving Glace Bay as a young man, were more complex than his history in Glace Bay.  The rare conversations in which he willingly spoke to others about his post-departure years described time in Fargo, North Dakota; Kincardine, Ontario; Llano, Texas; Hot Springs, Arkansas; Española, New Mexico; Houma, Louisiana; Huntsville, Texas; New Port Richey, Florida; Chicago, Illinois; and a host of other places.

I know about his post-Glace Bay years.  I met Truman about 40 years ago during my brief pursuit of a master’s degree in criminology and corrections.  Truman was doing the same, though he was almost finished with the program when I started it.   He was a graduate assistant, as was I, but being more advanced, he was actually teaching a class, whereas I was simply helping a professor grade papers.  The class he taught, Advanced Theoretical Perspectives, was the only one I found interesting.  His method of teaching was to engage students in conversation and debate, rather than to lecture and “profess” his knowledge.  One of the most interesting conversations involved an assignment in which he randomly selected students to be members of competing teams assigned to argue conflicting theories of deviance, his principal interest.  Just as the last team finished presenting and defending its theory, Truman opened a jar of blue tempera paint and poured it over his head, asking, “Is this deviance?  If so, which theory best explains it?”  The conversation lasted long after the class time was over; fortunately, there was nothing else scheduled in the room, so we were able to hold our two-hour discussion without having to leave.

Often, after class, we would have coffee and argue about theories of deviance.  Over time, I learned that he was especially intrigued by, and knowledgeable about, what he called “intentional extreme deviance.”  Intentional extreme deviance was behavior designed to surprise or frighten without being overtly aggressive.  During the course of two semesters, we became good friends.  We’d frequently meet at a bar and grill near campus for beer and a bite to eat.  I invariably ordered a burger.  Though he was vegetarian, he never urged me to leave my carnivorous ways behind.  His girlfriend, Cinnamon, made up for it.  Almost every time I saw her, she greeted me with, “Is it safe to leave my pet with you?”  That was her way of expressing disgust with my habit of eating the corpses of animals that had been killed for my dining pleasure.

MARCH 2, 1977

He had almost finished writing his thesis on intentional extreme deviance when it happened.  The phone rang about 1:30 a.m.  It was Truman.  “Cinnamon’s in the hospital.  Can you come down here?”  I had never heard Truman’s voice so weak and frightened.  He sounded fragile.  “Of course! What happened? Where are you?” “We’re in Houston, at Hermann, downtown.  On Fannin. I’ll fill you in when you get here.”

I hadn’t expected a call at 1:30 a.m.  I hadn’t expected to hear Truman’s voice when I answered the phone.  I hadn’t expected to hear that Cinnamon was in the hospital.  I hadn’t expected to hear that Truman, who lived half a mile from me in Huntsville, was at Hermann Hospital, 75 miles south of me.

It was almost 3:30 a.m. when I got to the emergency room.  I learned more about Truman in next four hours than I’d learned about him in the year I’d known him.  While we waited for the ER doctors to give us updates about Cinnamon, Truman shared things with me that shocked me.  He told me things you only tell to someone you trust as much as you trust yourself.  It was as if Cinnamon’s injuries triggered something over which he had no control. He had to talk.

Until that night, Truman had been on course toward an interesting but unremarkable career as a college professor.  But that night, the direction changed radically. That night was the first of many to come when I’d get a phone call from Truman, asking for my help.

AUGUST 15, 2012

When I arrived at the motel to cover the bill he had been unable to pay, I discovered he had already left.

He had called me the day before, the first communication I’d had with him in almost a year, asking if I might be able to help him out.

“I thought I’d managed to get something going, man, and I thought I could cover the cost of the room, but my predictions turned out to be fictions.  I wouldn’t ask, except I can’t just walk the bill and expect to stay a free man. If you can’t help me out, don’t give it a second thought; I have other options.  But if you can, you can add it to the list of favors I’m due to return.”

Truman was two states away, but he knew I’d be there for him if I could.  I could.  I told him I’d be there the next afternoon.  I left Memphis in the morning at 8:30 and arrived at the Super 8 in Big Cabin, Oklahoma that afternoon at around 5.

The Super 8 was more upscale than the places I figured Truman usually stayed. Typically, he’d find a one-nighter boarding house or, if he could get online, he would search couchsurfing.org for a place to land.  Obviously, he thought something was going his way to stay in a place like this.

“Can you call a guest room for me?  The last name is Truman.”

I expected the clerk to call his room when I asked for him.  Instead, she said “Are you Steve?” I nodded and she said, “He left early this morning and told me you would be by sometime today and asked me to give you this envelope.  He said you’d probably get here before he returns later tonight.”

When he left, the clerk said, he headed south on U.S. 69. She did not know he had vacated his room, nor that I was to pay the bill.

I opened the envelope and found a handwritten note and another piece of paper folded in thirds and then in half.  The note read:

Thank you, my friend, for everything.  I’m off to make another new start. I’ll try to stay in touch.  You asked me, a long time ago, to try my hand at writing again.  Here’s something I wrote.  Next time we talk, you can tell me what you think.

Truman

I unfolded the other piece of paper.

The clouds, what little I can see of them in the near darkness, are obsidian-black.  And the air feels just as hard.  It’s early yet, but there’s a sinister cast to the sky, caused not by the early hour but by something else, something ugly and frightening and as-yet unseen. I feel an odd sensation, as if there are demons swirling about, the wind from their wings spraying sand and gravel against a cast-iron sky. The dogs howling in the distance and the low, piercingly shrill chatter of birds in the trees far below me on this steep, deadly slope confirm I am not alone in my apprehension.  Even the clucking of squirrels is louder and more insistent than usual.

I think something is amiss.  I am the lone human awake at this hour to hear the hinges of the gates of hell squeal as they are pried open, centuries of rust protesting against the motion. But, by god, the birds and the dogs and the squirrels hear that awful noise!  They see, or at least feel, the bats swarming out of that crack in the door to the underworld.

It made me sad to read that.  He felt he had to give me something for my trouble; those two paragraphs were all he had to give.  I had asked him to write again because he had a way with words and he had stories and experiences that deserved to be recorded. More than that, though, I thought it might be a way for him to begin to heal. There was so much healing to be done.

Thos two short paragraphs offered a sample of how his mind worked.  It wasn’t fiction; it was the story of how Truman sees the world.

If only he had let me listen to him a little more, maybe it would have helped.  But, sometimes, Truman was his own worst enemy. Despite his proud demeanor and oddly dark optimism, I suspected he felt depressed and alone and worthless.

I paid the bill and explained to the clerk he would not be back. She had known something was amiss, she told me, when his debit card would not go through for the additional week’s stay; he had told her it was a glitch with the bank and he’d take care of it.  And he did, through me.  He always took care of things.

This bit of fiction is the beginning of what may be a short story; it may be something much longer. I’m sharing it just to see if it appeals to anyone who reads this little bit. I suppose the question is this: would you want to keep reading, if there were more?

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June 11: Thoughts for the Day

The evidence is mounting: hard-nosed, right-wing ideas are taking hold.  It is unsettling that people in Texas and in Mississippi and in Virginia—across the country—are buying the messages being sold by unthinkably short-sighted and cold-hearted tea-party politicos.  If the political events of the last few weeks do not persuade Democrats and moderate Republicans to flood to the polls in November to elect moderates in both parties, we can expect to experience what it is like to be governed by the Taliban’s evil twin.

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June 10: Thoughts for the Day

There’s some good in almost everyone. You just have to dig a little deeper in some people than in others.  On occasion, though, after you’ve done all the digging you can do, you discover you’ve come across the exception.  When that happens, you’re glad you’re holding a shovel.

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Daisy in Chains

It came out of nowhere.  I was sitting in Janine’s study, chatting with her about making an exchange at Bed, Bath & Beyond.  We had purchased a shower caddy last week and discovered it was too long; hanging from the shower head, the bottom of the caddy fell directly in front of the water control valve.  And then I began singing:

Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer true
I’m half crazy over the love of you
It won’t be a stylish marriage
I can’t afford a carriage
But you’ll look sweet
Upon the seat
Of a bicycle built for two

I have no idea where that came from, but it triggered a memory of the first time I heard music through computer speakers.

We were living in Chicago at the time, having moved there from Houston in 1985.  We spent the first year or two in a high-rise building in a one-bedroom apartment on East Ohio, just a few blocks east of Michigan Avenue.  Then, we moved to a two bedroom condo on Sheridan Road, just a few blocks west of Lakeshore Drive.  It was there that I heard the music.

I bought my first computer, a Compaq portable with an optional 10 Meg hard drive, from Inacomp, a computer store on Michigan Avenue about half a block south of East Ohio.  It looked a bit like a portable sewing machine; the keyboard was affixed in front of the tiny little screen and served as a base when the computer was not in use.  After we moved to Sheridan Road, I set the computer up in the second bedroom, the one we used as an office/study.

I liked to play around with the computer, trying to figure out what it was good for and trying expose myself to the growing functionality of computers. I am not sure there are any such animals any longer, but at the time (this would have been 1987 or thereabouts), a bulletin board system (BBS) was about the only way (that I knew of) to connect to other computer users and to upload and download software, communicate with other people, etc.

One evening, I got connected to a bulletin board system (BBS) and stumbled across a link to a file that, the description claimed, was a music file.  I don’t recall the details, but I managed somehow to get the file to launch.  Over the tiny, built-in speakers of my Compaq computer, I heard what sounded like an ancient, scratchy record.  What I heard was “Bicycle Built for Two.”  I was stunned and amazed and delighted to hear that music!  It was not that the tune was anywhere on my list of music I liked…it was that the sound emerged from a computer!  Incredible!  I was shocked and beside myself with the notion that technology was allowing me to listen to music, on a computer, that someone else had, somehow, captured and turned into an electronic file that could be shared electronically.

Now, just 27 years or so later, my experience with Bicycle Built for Two seems cute and archaic and otherworldly.  But it was cutting edge for the time.  I’m not nostalgic for that time.  I prefer to take full and complete advance of the latest and greatest capabilities technology has to offer than to live in the bucolic past.  But the memory of that night is instructive.  It informs me just how quickly the world is changing.   It tells me we’re moving faster than, as John Prine might say, “the speed of loneliness.”

Now, as I think back to the revelation that technology was about to upend the world, I think of how we were tied to electrical outlets back then.  Daisy would not have been heard had I been sitting on my deck or at the beach, with no access to electricity.  Today, batteries and wi-fi drastically reduce the importance of proximity.  We’re no longer chained to the desk.  Today, Daisy is NOT in chains.

 

 

Posted in Memories, Technology | 2 Comments

Which Came First?

I watched several instructional YouTube videos yesterday, videos posted as marketing pieces for online art instruction.  My purpose in watching them was to learn a bit about painting with acrylics, something I’ve done several times without the benefit of any instruction or coaching.

Initially, I thought the idea of online instruction for such an obviously hands-on endeavor was absurd, like teaching surgery skills through the use of smart phone text messages. Quickly, though, my skepticism disappeared, replaced by rapt attention and keen interest.  The first video I stumbled onto, a component video on stenciling, was part of a unit entitled “Top 10 Acrylic Techniques with Chris Cozen.” Rather than the slick promotion piece I expected, it turned into four very interesting minutes about a technique about which I knew virtually nothing. From there, I wandered into a thick web of instructional videos that quickly consumed two or three hours of my time.

It was while watching one of perhaps a dozen videos that the idea occurred to me: verbal art feeds on visual art. One of the videos showed a technique in which thinned acrylic is allowed to drip down vertically on the canvas. The demonstration of the technique brought to mind a description I’d read in a book long ago.   I don’t recall the book, nor do I recall the exact words, but the concept was something like this: “Hanging from the thick canopies of leaves above were long, thin, brilliantly colored tree trunks that looked like they had dripped haphazardly down an artist’s canvas, picking up colors as they flowed.”

The question, of course, is which came first, the art or the words describing nature in terms of art?   That question cannot be answered satisfactorily, just as one can never know whether the chicken or the olive came first.

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June 9: Thoughts for the Day

Today is my sister’s birthday. Happy birthday, sister! I hope you have a great, celebratory day! Come see us!

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Intense Weather

It seems the loudest thunder and heaviest rain may have passed.  I still hear thunder and I still see the sky erupt with lightning bolts and sheets of white-blue light, but it’s not as intense as it was ten minutes ago.  There was a time I thought the huge trees outside might not be able to withstand the fierce winds and weight of the water coming down.  But now, I think they might be OK; I hope so.  I expect to see the street littered with debris from the trees when  morning light begins to break.  Ach! Another crack of thunder, another bolt of lightning!  Maybe it has not passed by, after all.

 

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June 8: Thoughts for the Day

Intimacy is never wrong.  It can be awkward, it can be unsettling, it can feel dangerous, it can seem out of place, but it’s never wrong.  For society’s convenience, intimacy has been neatly tucked into a single drawer that should be opened only by two people who are married to one another.  But that artificial limitation on feeling is contrary to humankind’s need for connection.  Intimacy need not be restricted, nor so restrictive.

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Carry On

Hello.  Would you mind waiting in the lobby while I slit my wrists?  OK.  I’ll be down shortly, if I don’t bleed out first.  No, it’s nothing you said.  It’s more what you and people like you do. You and the entire remainder of the human race can take responsibility, but I rather doubt you’ll accept the blame.  I don’t mean to be offensive, but you don’t get it, do you?  You don’t understand that your self-centered, bigoted, unfeeling, loathsome beliefs are responsible for the blood on the wall, do you?

Carry on.  As if nothing happened. And as if nothing mattered.  You know, business as usual.  Business. As. Usual. 

And so you carried on. And they carried on.  And everyone else carried on.  And there was blood on the wall, but no one accepted that it was their blood, or your blood, or my blood.  No one admitted to supplying the razors.  No one admitted to providing the instructional videos.  Why should they?  It would only complicate an impossibly difficult situation.

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Experience

I just read a piece on yesterday’s NPR Morning Edition website about John Waters’ new book, Carsick, which chronicles his experiences hitchhiking from his home in Baltimore to his apartment in San Francisco.  That is the sort of experience I’d like to have, but one which this fear-factory is unlikely to try.  Reading the piece reminded me, though, of something I’ve long wanted to do: ride an intercity bus for a while, just for the experience.

The last time I recall riding a long distance bus was when I was a kid, probably 13 years old, maybe even younger.  Two friends of mine and I took the bus from Corpus Christi, Texas to Dallas, Texas so we could go to Six Flags over Texas. I had an aunt who lived in Dallas at the time, and she was happy to have us visit and gladly took us to Six Flags in the morning and picked us up after a full day of fun in the theme park.

Bus travel has, no doubt, changed since the last time I rode a bus a long distance.  But recalling one experience from that trip reminds me that the world is not so very different today than it was then.  And it was that sort of experience that colors common perceptions about bus travel today.

My memories of the experience are a bit fuzzy, but here’s what I recall of what happened.

We were probably half way or more on the trip north when a man sitting behind us started reaching his arm between the seats in which one of my friends and I were sitting; my other friend was across the aisle from us.  The man’s hand searched for an arm or a crotch to grab and started stroking it.  We told him to stop, but he just kept it up.  We were scared, but not too scared to tell the driver.  The driver pulled the bus over to the side of the road and told the man to get off.  The man claimed not to have done anything, but the driver wasn’t having it.  He insisted the guy get off the bus, right there in the middle of nowhere.  He got off and off we went.

Bus travel today is painted as a dangerous way to move about the country.  Buses are pictured as sinister vehicles in which only deviant sexual predators the ultra-poor ride.  Despite the my experience with the guy who tried to fondle us, I don’t think of that bus trip, nor that guy, as typical of that mode of travel.  I still want to get on a bus and hit the road for a while.  Riding a bus in this country probably does expose a person to a seedy side of life…at least not as pristine as I’m used to…but it’s not likely to be any more dangerous than going to a grocery store in a run-down neighborhood.

Why is it, by the way, that poverty is equated with crime?  I guess it makes sense; if you don’t know where your next meal is coming from, you might well decide your only option is to steal food or something you can convert to money for food.  And maybe once that behavior produces results, the distaste of stealing becomes more tolerable.  And maybe the belief that characterizes stealing as wrong begins to erode.  That makes sense, I suppose.  But it’s a shame that society tends to lump the poor into the same category as it lumps criminals: potentially dangerous and definitely unsavory people to avoid.

But I like the real world.  I like gritty…to a point.  I like to experience the world from ground level, instead of from the perspective of the privileged few.

I guess I’ll have to start checking the Greyhound schedules again.  I need to do it soon or risk having to decide between taking a bus trip or attending my drawing class, my pottery class, or the “citizens’ police academy” I signed up for in August.  Somehow, the experience of riding a bus seems so much more desirable when I put it in that context.

 

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June 7: Thoughts for the Day

All of us sometimes get frustrated with the slow pace of change. We want to see the results of a diet or exercise regimen within a week.  We expect our new commitment to smiling at everyone we meet to pay immediate dividends.  And we hope our generosity to others who contend with personal catastrophes will have an instantaneous effect in improving their outlooks in the face of tragedy.  The lack of immediate results can cause our will to wither. We ignore the diet, abandon the exercise regimen, allow our faces to return to their habitual scowls, and withdraw from our generous ways. The frustration builds on itself.

The way out is straightforward, but it too requires discipline. Savor the process of change. Accept that change takes time.  Look at life with a long view.  Commit to seeing it through.

It is easy to see the way out, but hard to practice it.  I’m practicing.  I stumble, I fall, but I get up again, so far.

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June 6: Thoughts for the Day

As I stare at the hologram in front of me, I wonder how his jowls got so unruly, how his neck grew so wide, how his eyes became so shallow.  It’s not a hologram; it’s almost a mirror, created by the glass, the pre-dawn sky, and the reflection of the light from this tiny little screen.  It’s the mirror that convinced me, albeit  later than it should have done, that I need to work on the superstructure that supports my soul.  And off we go.

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June 5: Thoughts for the Day

The difference between comfort and distress can be something as simple as a breeze. Understanding that simple fact sometimes makes me grateful for  things I didn’t realize were important.

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June 4: Thoughts for the Day

If I had one thing I could change about my life so far, it would be this: I would like to  have been a better, more caring, more compassionate and empathetic person.  It takes years for a person to be comfortable with those characteristics, I think.  I haven’t had them—and may not still..for long enough to have developed any level of comfort.  My favorite wife has a way of putting it that just fits:

“If wishes were horses we’d all have wings.”

I love her for that.

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My Own Cage

Some days, we question things we shouldn’t question. Some days, we fail to question things that deserve reproach. Some days, we create our own ugly cages from which escape is impossible and, even if it were possible, improper.

I see these concepts play out before me in the newspaper, on television news, and in articles I read online.  People behave in ways not in their own best interests, nor in the interests of anyone else.  They are not necessarily  behaving irrationally, but they are behaving in ways that can only be explained, I suppose, by linking the behavior to their attempts to “self-medicate” their pain.  So they continue, making mistake after mistake, in a futile effort to cover up the pain or eliminate its source.

People around them, people like me, watch them build their own cages and lock themselves inside, helplessly wondering what is happening.  And then, those people who watch them—at least this person who watches them—wonder whether they are being watched.  And they ask themselves, “have I built my own cage?”  You see, the people who have built their own cages often do not realize they have done it; they think they are living free and acting in their own self-interest.  They don’t know they are damaging the world they cherish.  By the time they know it, they know they can’t escape.  Or, if they could, it would serve no end.

So, unless we are completely self-aware (and who is self-aware, really?), we wonder whether we have built our own cages, visible only to people who watch helplessly.

Posted in Compassion, Empathy, Philosophy | Leave a comment

June 3: Thoughts for the Day

A few pearls of wisdom I have gathered thus far:

  • The organization that employees you does not love you.  It has no heart. You are replaceable. Be prepared to move on.
  • You are not the place you work, the money you make, nor the possessions you acquire; you are someone completely apart from those things.
  • Look for something outside of work about which you can develop a passion; follow it.
  • The person you marry, if you marry, becomes the most important person shaping the way you grow.
  • Don’t compare yourself to other people; you can always find others who compare more favorably and less favorably, but no good will come from either comparison.
  • Care. Really care.  Act on it.

I can’t say I learned all I should have learned from them, but I wish I had gathered them earlier than I did.

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Thoughts for the Day: June 2

The only permission you need is your own.  But be prepared to suffer the consequences when that permission is given at the expense of another.

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Getting “Religion”

Get ready to be surprised, flabbergasted, astonished, and amazed.

I went to church today.  No, really.  Not for a wedding or a funeral, but for a Sunday service.

An article in last week’s Hot Springs Village Voice newspaper included an article entitled “Being Good Without God: Coming Out as a Humanist.”  The title, the subject of a talk to be given at the church on Sunday, intrigued me.  The content of the article intrigued me.  My favorite wife expressed an interest, as well.  So we decided to attend.  It was an interesting experience.

The event began at around 9:30 a.m. with coffee and cookies in the church’s community center.  We were welcomed by several people who expressed genuine interest in our presence (it was obvious we were guests, as we had stick-on hand-written name tags, while most others wore lanyards with printed name tags).  Many of the same questions we got from the first person who introduced herself were repeated by others: Where are you from?  How long have you been here?  Have you been involved in a Unitarian Universalist church elsewhere (the church is the Unitarian Universalist Village Church)? And almost everyone we met assured us we would find a very open-minded, intelligent, welcoming congregation.

When it was time to move from the community center, someone flipped the lights on and off several times, signaling us to move into the room in which the services were to be held.

Having been absent from “normal” church services for probably 45 years, I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. We slid past a man sitting on the aisle of a pew about mid-way into the room and took our seats.  A few minutes later, he passed a sign-in sheet to me; both of us signed in.  I noticed that the row in front of us had its own sign-in sheet, so I turned to the man and asked what I should do with it.  He and a woman sitting behind him explained that we should pass it to the aisle (him) and it would be picked up at the conclusion of the service.

I began reading the program for the service and found the language used somewhat different than I expected.  Though the Unitarian Universalist Village Church is, indeed, a church, I suppose I was surprised to see the words “minister” and “worship” and “hymn” and “chalice lighting” and “prayer” and “benediction” in the program.  I suppose I was expecting more secular language.

Then, the president of the church spoke briefly.  And the following words were displayed on the screen and the congregation was asked to read them aloud:

Affirmation of Covenant

Love is the doctrine of this church
and the question of truth its sacrament,
and service its prayer.

To dwell together in peace,
to seek knowledge in freedom,
to serve humankind in fellowship;

to the end that all souls shall grow
into harmony with the good.

Thus do we covenant with one another.

Thereafter, a few other ceremonial comments were spoken and, then, ten new members were welcomed to the church; the leader of the welcoming ceremony read a brief biography of each new member, after which they were asked whether they would accept the obligations of membership in the congregation.

Following that ceremony, another member came forward to encourage contributions to “share the plate,” wherein congregants put money in a collection plate.  “Share the plate ” is done the first Sunday of each month, with the funds collected being donated to a specific local charity; this month, the charity to which the funds collected will be given is Habitat for Humanity of Garland County.  I have no idea how much others gave; we offered $20.

A small choir sang hymns (and congregants were asked to sing, as well), but these hymns were decidedly not “religious” in nature but, rather, more humanistic expressions of commitments to serve others and do good.  (Later in the day, I read that some traditional hymns are used as the basis for hymns in the Unitarian Universalist church, but with modified words.)

Finally, the “sermon.”  It was delivered by Reverend Barbara Prose, who is an assistant pastor of a Unitarian Universalist church in Tulsa, OK; several people in attendance today said it is the largest UU church in the US, maybe in the world.

Listening to her words, it quickly became evident that this was, indeed, a sermon, but it was unlike any sermon I’d heard or seen before.

She told a story, at the beginning of her talk, about conversations she has had with other people, trying to explain humanism and how it is possible to be good without the oversight of a supreme being. “Belief has nothing to do with it; you can believe anything you want, what is important is how you act.”  In that way she introduced the exhortation to accept people of all backgrounds, based not on their beliefs but on their actions.  She pointedly said there is no room in a collective of humanists for a person who believes religion is at the root of all violence and conflict in the world.  Actions, she said, are the currency of humanism, not beliefs.

I thought it interesting to hear her say there is a very real distinction between what she suggested are anti-theist atheists who define themselves by what they are NOT and what they do not believe and humanists, who define themselves by what they say they are and by what they believe is their obligation to humanity and the planet.

Though some of her comments did not mesh with the way I think, most of what she said made perfectly good sense and helped me to get a better sense of the tenets of Unitarian Universalism. Unless I badly misinterpreted her comments, it is clear that she has no belief in a supreme deity and that she puts no stock in the supernatural elements of any religion.  She emphasized, several times, that behavior, not belief, is how we define ourselves.

Later in the day, I read some interesting material about Unitarian Universalism and about humanism.  Aside from the book from which Prose took the title of her sermon (Good Without God: What a Billion Nonreligious People Do Believe by Greg Epstein), which I very much want to read, I found some other interesting material online that piqued my interest in reading about and talking about humanism versus atheism and the differences between them (Prose made it clear that humanists can be atheists or Christians or Muslims, etc., but some religions make it harder than others).  One particularly interesting bit I found online was written by a guy named Eric Stetson, who wrote an article on his blog entitled “Unitarian Universalists Need to “Get Religion.”

These paragraphs from his article were particularly interesting to me, addressing how Unitarian Universalists should (in his opinion) define themselves and their beliefs:

“Unitarian Universalism is the belief that all the great religions have truth and wisdom to offer. Each individual has a responsibility to learn from them, add to the ongoing discovery of universal truth that transcends sectarian differences, and contribute to the progress of humanity by working for what is right and standing up against what is wrong.”

…going on to say:

“We believe in the inherent worth and dignity of every person. We believe it is right for people all over the world to live together in peace, with justice for all, regardless of our differences of race, nationality, religion, gender or sexual orientation. We believe the earth is a sacred trust that must be cherished and protected, because it is the only home for human beings. We believe that discrimination, inequality, and environmental destruction are wrong, and we are fighting for a society in which greed and exploitation are held in check by an enlightened social consciousness in people’s hearts and society’s institutions. We believe that this fight is a sacred calling and the moral duty of all.”

All in all, it was an interesting two hours this morning.  Will I go back?  It depends.  But I think I might.

Posted in Church, Philosophy, Religion, Secular morality | 2 Comments

Thoughts for the Day: June 1

Windowlooking3Just a little left of center of this image is a dead tree.  The first few days I was here, seeing it bothered me; I wanted to remove it.  But lately, I have begun to see it as beautiful. Yesterday, a scarlet tanager landed on the uppermost branch and sat there for several minutes. If it had landed on any of the surrounding trees, I wouldn’t have been able to see it.  But when I saw an orange speck fly into the tree, I picked up my binoculars and saw it “up close.”  It looked very much like the photo below.  That dead tree belongs here.

Image from The Cornell Lab of Ornithology: All About Birds

Posted in Thoughts For the Day | 1 Comment

The Mane Thing…

I left the house about 6:45 a.m., a little annoyed with myself that I hadn’t left considerably earlier.  The Firestone store in Benton opens at 7:00 a.m.; it was no longer possible to be among the first customers of the day.

As I pulled out of the garage, the light rain began to intensify and the fog, or perhaps it was just clouds up in the hills, restricted visibility.  Benton is a good 40 minutes away on dry roads, but it would take me longer in such weather.

I arrived at the Firestone store just a few minutes after 8:00 a.m., ten minutes later than I would have, had I ignored Google’s map directions, which placed the store more than a mile further west than it actually is.  The place was packed.  I was advised my oil change and tire rotation could take two or more hours because of the jobs ahead of mine.  That was a worst-case estimate, I suppose, inasmuch as I was on my way out the door and into a fierce, driving rain by a quarter after 9:00.

The wind-driven rain got worse as I drove west.  Several times, the rain was pounding so hard and visibility was so poor I considered pulling over to wait it out, but the two-lane road, Arkansas Highway 5, has few places to pull over. About six or seven miles into the return trip, though, the nastiest stuff was behind me.

Most of the rest of the trip home was uneventful until I saw several animals cross the road about a quarter of a mile in front of me.  They looked to be about the size of large goats, I thought, and they were light-colored, like cream adulterated with just a touch of coffee, but their gait was more like that of a horse.  The closer I got, the more of them I saw crossing and the less they looked like goats.  By the time I was twenty yards from them, I had slowed to a crawl.  A large group of the animals that had already crossed the highway huddled together near the road, just beyond a barbed wire fence.  Three others had stopped in the middle of the road and were peering intently in my direction.  I was stunned.  These were not goats.  These were mythical beasts, unicorns.  Their horns were much smaller than others I have seen during previous psychotic episodes; and they were not spiral, they were round and smooth and came to a thin point like a pin.  Their eyes were not the delicate, faintly sky-blue eyes I’d seen before; these eyes were huge and dark brown, with a sheen to them like wet glass.

One of the three standing in the middle of the road was the first to speak to me: “Your car…isn’t that a 2002 Camry?” he asked.  “Yes,” I replied, “but what’s it to you?”  All three of them raised their heads a bit and pulled their necks back at my reply, as if in disbelief at what I’d said, their manes fluttering in the stiff breeze.

“You’re not very friendly, are you?” the same unicorn said.  “What it is to me is this: knowing what we know about you, I would have expected you to be driving either a completely restored 1959 Volvo PV544 or a 2014 Toyota Avalon, modified and customized to serve as a luxury pickup truck.”

“What do you mean ‘knowing what we know about  you’?  What do you know?”

The unicorn, the spokesman, glanced at his two companions and smiled. “You, sir, are living in a dream world if you don’t know what we know about you.  You wrote this, Sport! This IS your reality-adjusted fantasy, right?”

I was confused.  “I wrote nothing of the sort.  I was absent-mindedly driving along when I saw you and your herd crossing the road. What do you mean this is my reality-adjusted fantasy?”

Glancing in the rear-view mirror, I saw that another car was approaching rather fast, so I began to whip the wheel to the right and accelerate around the three unicorns in the road. But as my eyes left the mirror and returned to the road, there was nothing but water in the road.  And I looked to the pasture on the south side of the road and saw nothing but grass.

I pulled off beyond the tiny shoulder onto the wet grass and stopped the car. After sitting for a minute or two, I slowly pulled back onto the roadway, just as a bright red Volvo passed by slowly, heading in the opposite direction.  The man driving it turned his head to stare at me as he passed, his large brown eyes looking like wet marbles.  Just ahead, I saw a white pickup, its cab low and its windshield raked and sleek, pull off the roadway onto a gravel road.  As I passed by the road, I looked at the back of the pickup and saw its Toyota emblem.

It’s rare for unicorns to cross the threshold between fantasy and reality, just as it is rare for me to cross that threshold in the opposite direction.  Rare is like uncooked meat, right?

Posted in Fiction | 3 Comments