Author Archives: John Swinburn

About John Swinburn

"Love not what you are but what you may become."― Miguel de Cervantes

Morning Meditations

I did not announce the end of my sabbatical. It simply disappeared into a harsh, acidic vapor. Sabbaticals should bring rest and relaxation; my short attempt at escape morphed into a gritty recess on a dirty, dangerous playground. So I … Continue reading

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Was It a Bad Choice?

My wife’s first evening in her new temporary home (a skilled nursing and rehabilitation facility) did not have a pleasant start. Once she was situated in her room, she did not see anyone for several hours, even after pressing her … Continue reading

Posted in Family, Health, Love | 3 Comments

Trying Times

The past several weeks—approaching a month, now—have seemed impossibly long to me. That span of time must have seemed far longer for my wife. Since she tripped on July 14, she has been poked and prodded and exposed to X-rays … Continue reading

Posted in Family, Health, Love | 6 Comments

Prismatic Introspective Thinking

Everything exists along a spectrum. Light. Knowledge. Truth. Fear. Love. Right. Wrong. Hate. Extroversion. Introversion. Everything, even Certainty, is as flexible as a rubber band. And, like a rubber band, certainty can become brittle over time; it can snap when … Continue reading

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Circumstances

Circumstances can kick a person in the gut incredibly hard. The thing is, it’s sometimes impossible to know whether circumstances are simply taunting you or, instead, are attempting to prepare you for a merciless beating that will leave you bruised, … Continue reading

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Hoodlum. Lawbreaker. Deviant. Hooligan. Scofflaw. Criminal.

Yesterday would just as well have been left in the calendar to rot. It began early, as rotten days often do, but went south from there. At 10:45 a.m., as I was on the way home from grocery shopping, checking … Continue reading

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Journeys by Chance

Wikipedia says this about Corb Lund: Corb Lund is a Canadian Western and Country singer-songwriter from Taber, Alberta, Canada. He has released nine albums, three of which are certified gold. Lund tours regularly in Canada, the United States and Australia, … Continue reading

Posted in Culture, Demographics, Music | 5 Comments

Future Present Imperfect

At some point in the future, I hope a significant majority of humankind simultaneously will come to realize the futility of conquest. They will once again understand, as our ancient ancestors probably did, that serenity depends in part on leaving … Continue reading

Posted in Philosophy | 2 Comments

The Elusion of Sleep

I’ve been awake since shortly after 2 a.m., courtesy (I assume) of food that did not agree with me. It’s nearing 3 a.m. now and I’m laying odds against the likelihood that I’ll be able to get back to sleep. … Continue reading

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Night Walker

Earlier this year, in one of my stream-of-consciousness blathers, I mentioned the idea of mounting a television to a treadmill, enabling me to watch an odd mix of television series and made-for-Netflix movies while getting some exercise. If I did … Continue reading

Posted in Philosophy, Writing | Leave a comment

Icelandic Diversion

I am sitting in my wife’s room in the rehabilitation hospital while she is off undergoing therapy of one kind or another. A short while ago, after she was wheeled away for her two back-to-back sessions, I wandered through the … Continue reading

Posted in Nudity | 3 Comments

I Can’t Write this Morning

I can’t write this morning.  Writing suddenly seems a luxury, a shameful waste in the face of real necessity. My mood will change, I’m sure. I am fortunate, in that it always does. But maybe it shouldn’t. Maybe the escape … Continue reading

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Demands and Tension

One more week. That’s what the rehab hospital is saying. My wife will be there one more week before she is discharged, assuming she is ready for discharge then. The idea, they say, is for her to be as self-sufficient … Continue reading

Posted in Anger | 3 Comments

Sounds and Music and Other Mental Rabbit Warrens

I forced myself to stay in bed for some time, hoping I would go back to sleep. Eventually, though, I gave up around 4:30.  The thing that kept me awake was the whistling noise with every inhalation and exhalation. That … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments

Swerving into Philosophy

I woke up late this morning, sometime around 6:45. The fact that I was awakened in the middle of the night probably contributed to my late rising. Or maybe I was just tired and needed more sleep than normal. Whatever … Continue reading

Posted in Church, Dreams, Religion, Secular morality | 6 Comments

The Week Begins

They stuck in my mind many, many years ago. I’m referring to the lyrics of a Leonard Cohen song, Famous Blue Raincoat. I think of those lyrics every time I find myself awake at four in the morning, which unfortunately … Continue reading

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Concerns

Concerns. They’re also called burdens. Or worries. Or apprehensions. Uneasiness. Misgivings. Lots of synonyms for concerns. I allow myself to have more than my share. I admire people who can let those bothersome emotions slide off of them like water … Continue reading

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Friday Evening Roundup

I delivered Janine to CHI Rehabilitation Hospital (AKA Encompass) this afternoon about 6:15 p.m. It took all day for the process of referral to CHI to play out, I guess. By the time she was formally discharged (the paperwork said … Continue reading

Posted in Family, Health | 5 Comments

More News

The only significant matter to report is this: the hospital seems to be leaning toward releasing Janine to a residential rehabilitation facility, where she can get ongoing care and rehabilitation physical therapy. But that will depend on several issues, including: … Continue reading

Posted in Health | 3 Comments

Where Decency Thrives and Compassion Flourishes

A friend left a comment here recently, suggesting that some countries’ cultures have a gentler view of the world than ours. That is so true. Our culture evolved from hard-nosed individualism, shedding compassion along the way as if the desire … Continue reading

Posted in Compassion, Health, Kindness, Philosophy, Selfishness | 1 Comment

Update

I’m tired, so this will be brief. Janine was moved out of ICU this afternoon to a regular room on the floor below. A while after the move, though, her blood pressure dropped precipitously, so the nurse said she may … Continue reading

Posted in Family, Health | 4 Comments

Relief

Yesterday was impossibly long, beginning when I went to sleep after midnight, awoke at 3:30, and then played out during a day that stretched out almost to midnight again. My wife’s sister helped me get my wife to the nearby … Continue reading

Posted in Family, Health | 5 Comments

Ill-Equipped to Help

I’m going to reveal something personal that I would rather keep private, but circumstances argue I should not keep the situation to myself. If for no other reason, I need to let some people who might happen upon this post … Continue reading

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State of Mind

For a brief while this morning, the outdoor temperature will be tolerable. At the moment, according to my computer and according to my thermometer, the air temperature is 72F. I can vouch for that; I went outside earlier, where I … Continue reading

Posted in Just Thinking | 2 Comments

When Life and Death Were Simple

In my mind, I picture an ancient cave-dweller, a man in his early twenties. During the time he lived, the average lifespan of humans was only twenty-six. The rare thirty-year-old or rarer forty-year-old were considered extraordinary. And they were. They … Continue reading

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