Category Archives: Anger

Demands and Tension

Posted on July 23, 2020 by John Swinburn

One more week. That’s what the rehab hospital is saying. My wife will be there one more week before she is discharged, assuming she is ready for discharge then. The idea, they say, is for her to be as self-sufficient … Continue reading →

Posted in Anger | 3 Comments

Unbearable Ennui

Posted on May 18, 2020 by John Swinburn

Perhaps the enormous consequences of the pandemic are only now beginning to sink in. Maybe that is why, this morning, I feel fragile; as if I were a hollow vessel whose skin is a microscopically-thin crystalline membrane left behind when … Continue reading →

Posted in Anger, Depression, Fear | Leave a comment

Throwing Eight-Balls at Apartment Walls

Posted on May 10, 2020 by John Swinburn

One of the synonyms for ‘dream’ is ‘vision.’ A bad dream is a nightmare. As people get older, they complain of a loss of night vision. But is ‘nightmare’ actually a euphemism for a decline in visual acuity in low … Continue reading →

Posted in Anger, Dreams | Leave a comment

Extinction

Posted on January 22, 2020 by John Swinburn

I wonder at what point I would finally break. What would it take for me to risk everything including my family, my friends, and my life to achieve freedom or democracy or whatever it is you might call an environment … Continue reading →

Posted in Anger, Democracy, Frustration, Government, Greed, Power, Rant | Leave a comment

I Think I’m Losing the Battle for My Soul

Posted on January 3, 2020 by John Swinburn

I don’t pretend to be an expert in geopolitical intrigue. And I don’t want to be. But I wish the United States government had listened to me after 9/11 and had decided not to invade Iraq under false pretenses. And … Continue reading →

Posted in Anger | 2 Comments

Transition to Acceptance

Posted on December 12, 2019 by John Swinburn

The sky is turning bright pink in the east. Earlier, it was orange and the trees against the horizon looked black, as if they were shadows. The day broke in beautiful form. But then I made the mistake of opening … Continue reading →

Posted in Acceptance, Anger, Self-discipline, Serenity, Wabi sabi | Leave a comment

Be Kind

Posted on November 29, 2019 by John Swinburn

I posted a good bit of this yesterday on Facebook. I’m posting it here because I want to be able to find it again; to use it as a reminder to try to be better.  Yesterday, I expressed anger at … Continue reading →

Posted in Anger, Compassion, Kindness | Leave a comment

Bloodshed and Emptiness

Posted on August 4, 2019 by John Swinburn

I can barely contain my rage and my fear this morning. After the horrific mass shooting yesterday in El Paso, I awoke this morning to news of another mass shooting, this one in Dayton, Ohio. My nephew and his wife … Continue reading →

Posted in Anger, Fear | 2 Comments

Things on My Mind

Posted on May 6, 2019 by John Swinburn

I learned yesterday that one of my brothers, from whom I unfortunately have been estranged for more than two years, is in the hospital. He is to undergo a heart catheterization and placement of a pacemaker as a prelude to … Continue reading →

Posted in Anger, Family, Frustration, Government, Politics, Rant, Regret, Stream of Consciousness, Writing | Leave a comment

Too Tired to Care?

Posted on February 16, 2019 by John Swinburn

I read an online article from Maclean’s Magazine (a left-center leaning Canadian news magazine) yesterday that moved me to rage. The article dealt with a decision by a local police department to issue an “Amber Alert” in the middle of … Continue reading →

Posted in Anger, Compassion | 5 Comments

These are the Times…

Posted on January 30, 2017 by John Swinburn

“THESE are the times that try men’s souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands by it now, deserves the love and thanks of man … Continue reading →

Posted in Anger, Politics | Leave a comment

Writing Out of Fear

Posted on January 11, 2017 by John Swinburn

My limited writing of late skirts the edges of frivolity from time to time, then rushes headlong into its muck. Poor writing, they say, is better than none at all. My writing in recent weeks fits the bill of better than … Continue reading →

Posted in Anger, Fear, Government, Politics | Leave a comment

Self-Congratulation

Posted on January 23, 2016 by John Swinburn

We recognize it. All of us acknowledge it. We see the disintegration of civility on both sides of the debate and we condemn it, universally. But it’s always the other side that’s most shrill, most virulent, most fanatic. Never our … Continue reading →

Posted in Anger, Frustration, Philosophy | 1 Comment

A Million Pieces

Posted on January 3, 2016 by John Swinburn

I’ve been in a bad mood for forty-two years, give or take a year or two. It might have set in when I was eighteen, but sometimes I think it was when I was closer to twenty. Yet when I think … Continue reading →

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