Category Archives: Frustration

Extinction

Posted on January 22, 2020 by John Swinburn

I wonder at what point I would finally break. What would it take for me to risk everything including my family, my friends, and my life to achieve freedom or democracy or whatever it is you might call an environment … Continue reading →

Posted in Anger, Democracy, Frustration, Government, Greed, Power, Rant | Leave a comment

Fragmentary Evidence

Posted on November 3, 2019 by John Swinburn

The fact was not new to me, but like so many facts, it had been lost in the shuffle between truth and lies, reality and fiction, and experience and fantasy. The easiest way to remember it, I think, is to … Continue reading →

Posted in Frustration, Intellect | Leave a comment

Things on My Mind

Posted on May 6, 2019 by John Swinburn

I learned yesterday that one of my brothers, from whom I unfortunately have been estranged for more than two years, is in the hospital. He is to undergo a heart catheterization and placement of a pacemaker as a prelude to … Continue reading →

Posted in Anger, Family, Frustration, Government, Politics, Rant, Regret, Stream of Consciousness, Writing | Leave a comment

Returning to the Empty Well

Posted on April 5, 2019 by John Swinburn

This morning, as I am sometimes wont to do, I wandered aimlessly through some of my old blog posts, looking for evidence of creativity and talent. “Looking” is the wrong word. “Hoping” better describes my motive. What I found did … Continue reading →

Posted in Frustration, Procrastination, Ruminations, Self-discipline, Writing | Leave a comment

Tells Stories and Believes Them

Posted on November 10, 2018 by John Swinburn

About four years ago, I wrote a very brief post that began, “Tells stories and believes them.” The quote was my memory (which I believe is correct) of a statement in a psychological inventory’s assessment of my personality. I didn’t … Continue reading →

Posted in Frustration, Materialism, Philosophy | Leave a comment

Cancer and the Church

Posted on October 26, 2018 by John Swinburn

This morning, after having heard nothing from my oncologist’s schedulers, I called again. This time, I spoke to someone who said she would get something done. But unlike the same commitment I heard last time, this one said she would … Continue reading →

Posted in Cancer, Frustration | 2 Comments

All Things in Moderation

Posted on July 17, 2017 by John Swinburn

The purposes of our trip to Oklahoma and Kansas were twofold: 1) take a long-delayed road trip, with the intent of “chilling” a bit; and 2) gather material from and become familiar with Kansas—Manhattan in particular—as a resource for a novel … Continue reading →

Posted in Essay, Frustration, Government, Philosophy, Politics, Rant | Leave a comment

Observations on Animal Instinct

Posted on January 7, 2017 by John Swinburn

Despite its many bungling attempts to protect us (e.g.,  the Transportation Security Administration, or TSA), the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) recommends an absolutely natural response if one confronts an active shooter or other such attack on one’s person (i.e., … Continue reading →

Posted in Fear, Frustration, Philosophy | Leave a comment

Self-Help

Posted on August 4, 2016 by John Swinburn

I am in the midst of a transformation, but I don’t know just what I’m transforming from, nor what I’m becoming. I know only that the man who inhabits my body is undergoing a metamorphosis of some significance. No longer do … Continue reading →

Posted in Frustration | 3 Comments

Musings on the Day After the Fourth

Posted on July 5, 2016 by John Swinburn

Last night, I sat on my deck watching explosions of fireworks in the deep distance and hearing the faint percussive thuds of the remote blasts. The air was hot and muggy, defining July in central Arkansas (and much of my home state of … Continue reading →

Posted in Depression, Frustration, Independence Day, Philosophy, Politics, Rant | 2 Comments

Self-Congratulation

Posted on January 23, 2016 by John Swinburn

We recognize it. All of us acknowledge it. We see the disintegration of civility on both sides of the debate and we condemn it, universally. But it’s always the other side that’s most shrill, most virulent, most fanatic. Never our … Continue reading →

Posted in Anger, Frustration, Philosophy | 1 Comment

A Million Pieces

Posted on January 3, 2016 by John Swinburn

I’ve been in a bad mood for forty-two years, give or take a year or two. It might have set in when I was eighteen, but sometimes I think it was when I was closer to twenty. Yet when I think … Continue reading →

Posted in Anger, Frustration | Leave a comment