Author Archives: John Swinburn

About John Swinburn

"Love not what you are but what you may become."― Miguel de Cervantes

Sounds and Music and Other Mental Rabbit Warrens

Posted on July 22, 2020 by John Swinburn

I forced myself to stay in bed for some time, hoping I would go back to sleep. Eventually, though, I gave up around 4:30.  The thing that kept me awake was the whistling noise with every inhalation and exhalation. That … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments

Swerving into Philosophy

Posted on July 21, 2020 by John Swinburn

I woke up late this morning, sometime around 6:45. The fact that I was awakened in the middle of the night probably contributed to my late rising. Or maybe I was just tired and needed more sleep than normal. Whatever … Continue reading →

Posted in Church, Dreams, Religion, Secular morality | 6 Comments

The Week Begins

Posted on July 20, 2020 by John Swinburn

They stuck in my mind many, many years ago. I’m referring to the lyrics of a Leonard Cohen song, Famous Blue Raincoat. I think of those lyrics every time I find myself awake at four in the morning, which unfortunately … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Concerns

Posted on July 19, 2020 by John Swinburn

Concerns. They’re also called burdens. Or worries. Or apprehensions. Uneasiness. Misgivings. Lots of synonyms for concerns. I allow myself to have more than my share. I admire people who can let those bothersome emotions slide off of them like water … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Friday Evening Roundup

Posted on July 17, 2020 by John Swinburn

I delivered Janine to CHI Rehabilitation Hospital (AKA Encompass) this afternoon about 6:15 p.m. It took all day for the process of referral to CHI to play out, I guess. By the time she was formally discharged (the paperwork said … Continue reading →

Posted in Family, Health | 5 Comments

More News

Posted on July 16, 2020 by John Swinburn

The only significant matter to report is this: the hospital seems to be leaning toward releasing Janine to a residential rehabilitation facility, where she can get ongoing care and rehabilitation physical therapy. But that will depend on several issues, including: … Continue reading →

Posted in Health | 3 Comments

Where Decency Thrives and Compassion Flourishes

Posted on July 16, 2020 by John Swinburn

A friend left a comment here recently, suggesting that some countries’ cultures have a gentler view of the world than ours. That is so true. Our culture evolved from hard-nosed individualism, shedding compassion along the way as if the desire … Continue reading →

Posted in Compassion, Health, Kindness, Philosophy, Selfishness | 1 Comment

Update

Posted on July 15, 2020 by John Swinburn

I’m tired, so this will be brief. Janine was moved out of ICU this afternoon to a regular room on the floor below. A while after the move, though, her blood pressure dropped precipitously, so the nurse said she may … Continue reading →

Posted in Family, Health | 4 Comments

Relief

Posted on July 15, 2020 by John Swinburn

Yesterday was impossibly long, beginning when I went to sleep after midnight, awoke at 3:30, and then played out during a day that stretched out almost to midnight again. My wife’s sister helped me get my wife to the nearby … Continue reading →

Posted in Family, Health | 5 Comments

Ill-Equipped to Help

Posted on July 14, 2020 by John Swinburn

I’m going to reveal something personal that I would rather keep private, but circumstances argue I should not keep the situation to myself. If for no other reason, I need to let some people who might happen upon this post … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments

State of Mind

Posted on July 13, 2020 by John Swinburn

For a brief while this morning, the outdoor temperature will be tolerable. At the moment, according to my computer and according to my thermometer, the air temperature is 72F. I can vouch for that; I went outside earlier, where I … Continue reading →

Posted in Just Thinking | 2 Comments

When Life and Death Were Simple

Posted on July 12, 2020 by John Swinburn

In my mind, I picture an ancient cave-dweller, a man in his early twenties. During the time he lived, the average lifespan of humans was only twenty-six. The rare thirty-year-old or rarer forty-year-old were considered extraordinary. And they were. They … Continue reading →

Posted in Fiction, Writing | Leave a comment

Vibes, Good or Bad

Posted on July 11, 2020 by John Swinburn

Perhaps I’ve been fooling myself into thinking the isolation and lifestyle changes brought on by the COVID-19 pandemic have had little impact on me. Maybe this intrusion into my day-to-day life has actually had more of an impact on me … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | 5 Comments

Inside Stories

Posted on July 10, 2020 by John Swinburn

If I wrote what’s really on my mind this morning, people who read it might feel compelled to alert the authorities that they think I might be suicidal. I am not. If I wrote what’s bothering me, I might be … Continue reading →

Posted in Emotion | 4 Comments

Don’t Stop Thinking About Tomorrow

Posted on July 9, 2020 by John Swinburn

Back to my old habits. Up before 4:00 a.m., ready to face the day. The tune and lyrics to an old song were among my first thoughts this morning: Well everybody’s heart needs a holiday, some time And everyone of … Continue reading →

Posted in Memories, Music, Philosophy | Leave a comment

Message to Myself for the Day (that I share with whoever happens by)

Posted on July 8, 2020 by John Swinburn

I woke up much later than normal this morning, just shy of 6:00 a.m., leaving me precious little free time to engage in my normal morning routines (at least in their normal order). One of the first orders of business … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Another Visit to My Mental Clothing Store

Posted on July 7, 2020 by John Swinburn

I sit at my desk in my “morning clothes” (t-shirt, gym shorts, flip-flops), thinking these clothes should be perfectly acceptable any time of the day or night and in any place I find myself. They should be just fine at … Continue reading →

Posted in Clothes, Covid-19, Nudity | 2 Comments

Civic Responsibility and Civic Vacations

Posted on July 6, 2020 by John Swinburn

We should forgive ourselves, and one another, for our occasional retreats from the news of the day. We should not judge ourselves for clinging to the safety of ignorance about current events, nor for tolerating a desire to stay “in … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments

Feelings, Food, and Film

Posted on July 5, 2020 by John Swinburn

I watched a brief, animated video produced by BBC this morning. Entitled, “Is a Crisis a Chance to Reset the World?” It parallels what I’ve been thinking and hearing from others who want the COVID-19 pandemic to serve as a … Continue reading →

Posted in Film, Food, Television | Leave a comment

Escapism

Posted on July 4, 2020 by John Swinburn

I said recently my writing is, for me, escapism. Escape from what, though? Specifically, from what does writing allow me to escape? When I insist on an answer, I feel like I’m taking on the identity of an unwilling patient, … Continue reading →

Posted in Patriotism, Philosophy | 2 Comments

Lonely versus Alone

Posted on July 3, 2020 by John Swinburn

I feel a need to capture discrete moments, incidents and ideas that grab me by the lapels and slap me in the face. In no particular order: One of my brothers was told by his doctor he has bladder cancer; … Continue reading →

Posted in Just Thinking | 4 Comments

The World Around Me

Posted on July 2, 2020 by John Swinburn

When I walked out onto the deck this morning, the air felt like cracked, bone dry leather and heavily used, fine-grit sandpaper. Yet the density of extremely high humidity was unmistakable, a set of oddly conflicting sensations that felt natural. … Continue reading →

Posted in Philosophy | 2 Comments

A Course in Calamities

Posted on July 1, 2020 by John Swinburn

Before I begin, I note that my Google calendar tells me I have a pre-procedure check-in at CHI St. Vincent tomorrow morning. The procedure, a cystoscopy and biopsy of the lining of the bladder, under general anesthesia, takes place next … Continue reading →

Posted in Philosophy | 1 Comment

Bear with Me While I Share My Thoughts

Posted on June 30, 2020 by John Swinburn

I read a letter to the editor in this morning’s local newspaper. The letter, in expressing appreciation for the Supreme Court’s recent decision regarding LGBTQ rights, referred to last week’s regular column by our church minister. The writer wrote: “…it … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments

Unintentional Explorations

Posted on June 29, 2020 by John Swinburn

It’s normal, I guess, to simply run out of creative energy from time to time. No one can sustain creativity every waking moment; not even half the time. Creativity burns a mysterious fuel that is most definitely not limitless. When … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments