One Hundred Ninety-Seven

The world is awash in interesting people.  They’re not all people with whom you’d want to spend a great deal of time, but they’re interesting, nonetheless.  Like the guy in a long, dirty rainbow robe over his clothes; he has a pet goat and speaks of people who have too many things but who won’t offer him a job or a place to sleep.  Or the guy who cooks pizza at a downtown Hot Springs pizzeria; he looks genuinely ecstatic when I say the pizza was excellent. Or the woman whose crazed emotionality causes her to say the same thing, over and over again, using only slightly different words.   Interesting people have a way of finding their way into books, don’t they?

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Stones

I entered through the monstrous wrought iron and glass front door of the house, in spite of having been told to enter through the kitchen door in the garage. Entry through a garage is just too casual, in my opinion, especially if the house is over-sized and oozes conspicuous, ostentatious luxury. I wanted to get the full effect of walking into a rich man’s home. After waiting an appropriate time for the door bell to be answered, I opened the  door and stepped inside.

Beyond the castle gate of a door, a huge cavernous entry made me feel tiny. The flooring, slabs of polished jade, reflected the massive chandelier and the clerestory windows thirty feet above.  Thirty yards in front of me, a wall of window twenty feet tall revealed a lush, colorful garden sloping up toward a thicket of pine trees.

“I thought I told you to come in through the garage!” Anchor Steel’s words, spoken in a deep and loud voice, betrayed his anger. As I turned toward the sound of that angry snarl, I saw the shotgun in his right hand. “You’re lucky to be alive, you sonofabitch!”

“Sorry, the light wasn’t on in the garage and I didn’t want to get shot by a concerned neighbor!”

“You see any houses close enough for a neighbor to see you?” His tone suggested he thought I was stupid or lying. Or both.

“Never mind. Come on and I’ll show you.”

I followed Steel past a huge kitchen island flanked by stainless steel and glass cabinetry into a much smaller, dimly lit room. Almost immediately upon entering the door, Steel seemed to plunge in front of me. I paused for a moment, confused by his sudden drop. Ah, a steep stairway. We descended to the bottom, at least fifteen feet.

This was no rich man’s house. This was a cave. The floors were rough, yet moderately level, but the walls were craggy outcroppings of rock.  At the far end of the cave, several lights dangled from a tangle of cords, illuminating what appeared to be a dusty, scratched casket.

“Found it while I was digging for the safe room.”

“Safe room?  Like a storm cellar?”

“No. A room for my safes. Some of my valuables don’t belong on display; this is gonna be where I keep ’em.”

“Ah, okay. Well, what about that casket?” I pointed to it, the only distinguishable object in the room.”

“That’s why I called you over. I want you to appraise it.”

“The casket?”

“No, what’s inside.”

Steel trudged across the uneven floor to the casket and lifted the lid.  Inside, the length of the coffin was taken up by shiny cobalt blue fabric covering something. A corpse? An ample sprinkling of polished stones that looked like emeralds, sapphires, diamonds and rubies filled the folds of the blue fabric. A skull, with dried skin still attached and topped with wisps of black hair, emerged from the blue dress.

“Who is that?”

“I don’t know. And I really don’t care. What I want to know is this: what’s the value of these stones and are they traceable?”

I wasn’t absolutely sure what he was asking, but I had a pretty good idea.

“So, you’d like to sell the stones, quietly, yes?”

Steel looked at me hard.

“I want to know the value of the stones and whether they’re traceable.  And I want assurances you’re as discreet as I’ve been told you are. ”

He still had the shotgun.

“I’m even more discreet than you’ve heard. I’ll need to examine the stones closely and then do some research.”

“All right. But you’ll need to do the examination and research right here. If you need any resources other than what I’ve got here at the house, we’ll go get them. Together.”

Steel’s eyes weren’t hard to read.  They said, in no uncertain terms, “Ruthless.”

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One Hundred Ninety-Six

The dream involved a very tall man, a man who had been condemned to death by hanging. I was responsible for transporting him to the gallows. Somehow, using his legs, he flipped me over and lifted my body high above him. Once I was several feet in the air, he slammed me against the pavement, over and over and over again. I felt no pain. I felt only embarrassment that I had allowed him to overpower me and that I was involved in an execution of someone about whose crime I knew absolutely nothing.

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Epicanthic Folds

You’ve heard of epicanthic folds?  Well of course you have. They are skin of the upper eyelid that covers the inner corner of the eye. Epicanthic folds are largely responsible for the distinctive “Asian” facial appearance that is so often mocked or viewed with appreciative awe by Westerners.

I know this only because I heard something, probably on NPR, and decided to do some follow-up after the program.

The distinctive appearance of epicanthic folds makes me wonder how and why humans evolved in different ways. Light skin versus dark skin; blue eyes versus brown eyes; Roman noses versus pug noses; etc., etc., etc.  Many explanations exist; they are all theories, not necessarily facts.

I considered writing a story about a little boy, born to Scandanavian parents, who has distinct epicanthic folds. The story would unfold as a mystery with suggestions that the mother might have been unfaithful. But it would become apparent that was not the reason for for the eye feature. It would unfold as a simple physical deviation from the Scandanavian norm.  But before that unfolding, the boy and his parents would go through an enormous volume of shame and accusations.

Why does it all have to come back to the ugly reality? We fear and distrust people and things unlike us.

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One Hundred Ninety-Five

Stand between two tall mirrors. Watch the reflections of your body stretch into eternity. That’s how far you can see if you allow your mind the freedom you give your eyes.

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Seeing Through Shadows

Many years ago, after my mother had retired from teaching school, two friends who  taught at Del Mar College engaged her help with a text book they were writing.  She offered them advice on the structure and content of the book and helped by simply proofing the manuscript.

The book finished, they acknowledged my mother’s help when they wrote she “sees through shadows.” The acknowledgement comes to mind this morning as I see through shadows in my right eye. Later today, I visit the ophthalmologist to learn whether the early-onset cataract in my right eye is ready for surgery.  I hope so, as it’s interfering with my ability to see. I close my right eye and, instantly, my vision becomes clearer. I close my left eye and my vision changes to what I can only liken to looking through a window pane coated with cooking spray over which a super-fine particulate dust has been scattered.  I can still see through the right eye, but it’s terribly unclear.

I don’t know if the acknowledgement was a recognition of my mother’s contribution to the book in clarifying the authors’ language or whether it recognized that she helped them along in spite of her cataracts that had not yet been addressed.

In either case, I understand the appreciation, and I share it.

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One Hundred Ninety-Four

At what point does paranoia become mass paranoia?  How many people does it take? It is percentage of the population, or is there an absolute number of paranoid people who suffer under the same delusion beyond which the label applies?

I ask for good reason. A bunch of people in Texas are forming “watch” groups to follow American soldiers during the Jade Helm exercises.

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This is Not a Post

With apologies to René Magritte.

Margritti this is not a pipe

This is not a pipe.

Not a Post

This is not a post

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One Hundred Ninety-Three

All people should have a portrait made or a photo taken, at least once in their lives, raising their fists in the air and clenching a knife between their teeth. I’m seeking photographers.

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Turn Back Time

The conversion to an age-based economy began when the Dutch implemented a program called Ungdom-penge; youth-money. Five years later, almost all global economies had adopted Ungdom-penge. The changes were not in the currencies themselves, but in what currencies could buy. Thanks to the pioneering research of Jens Hjelmslevm, who created a bio-economic conversion algorithm, individuals were able to buy back years they had already lived, effectively purchasing youth.  Initially, purchases were limited to terminally-ill patients, who—through their purchases—could revert to an age-state prior to that at which their diseases had manifested.  Quickly, though, the demand for age-abatement far outstripped the limited supply.   Through some aggressive adjustments to the algorithms, though, the problem was fixed, but at a price far greater than money.  Any person could buy back up to thirty years, but the price was the immediate loss of one’s existing relationships with family and friends and the relinquishment of all worldly goods.  Following the transaction, the purchaser would be “youthified,” and presented with a debit card good for six months of middle-class equivalent living expenses.

[See, I have these ideas that don’t hold my attention long enough to finish even a page.]

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One Hundred Ninety-Two

I have a hard time trusting people who claim to dislike poetry.  Either they are lying to themselves or they are lying to me. Poetry is emotion given the gift of language; you just can’t dislike that unless you carry the same animus toward love and charity.

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The Effect of Emotion on Language

“My emotions got the best of me.”

If that isn’t a ludicrous shifting of blame to an unassailable, non-existent entity, I don’t know what it is. The statement suggests emotions are entirely separate from the person experiencing them. Yet it’s frequently used as an excuse.

A more honest statement might be, “I gave myself permission to behave without restraint and without regard to the consequences of my behavior or its impact on others.” Admittedly, it’s a more difficult sentence and doesn’t so readily shed personal blame, but it’s more true to reality, I think. It’s something like, “My dog at my homework,” but with the addition of, “after I steeped it in beef broth and put it on top of the kibble in his bowl.”

Perhaps the difference between accepting responsibility and accepting blame is akin to admitting to negligent homicide versus copping to premeditated murder. In my admittedly jaundiced view of the world, accepting responsibility implies honor in admitting a mistake; accepting blame suggests disgrace in admitting the discovery of malicious intent.

And these are the topics on my mind this morning, subjects that may find their way into my writing in some form or fashion when I write something of substance.  I entitled this post “The Effect of Emotion on Language.” That title suggests something altogether different from what I wrote, doesn’t it?

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One Hundred Ninety-One

None of us will get out of this alive. I wonder whether it matters. Our lives are so short and, for the most part, so inconsequential to humankind, to the planet, to the vast and unknowable universe. But a few lives matter to a few more. Maybe that’s the breadth of our impact on the world and the only meaning that matters. Small and focused, our lives are raindrops against spider webs; they disappear without leaving more than a temporary trace.

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Manhattan Project

The empty streets of Manhattan, Kansas, captured on live internet video cams, seemed surreal to Connor Embleman. Not a living soul stirred in the city that, one week earlier, was home to fifty-six thousand people. Though the streets were absent any traffic, stoplights continued to function, one of the only ways to tell that some of the video feeds—the ones with no trees, no bushes, no movement at all—were not simply still shots.

As fire chief of the Manhattan Fire Department, he had been among the last to leave the city in the wake of the mandatory evacuation order. He—along with Cage Mackey, the chief of police, and the director of emergency management, Sabrina Sammons—had argued against an evacuation.  No solid evidence of a real and imminent threat had been presented to them. The mayor, though, told them the matter wasn’t up for debate. She suggested to the three of them that they not go on record opposing the evacuation. If something did happen, she said, their opposition would destroy public faith in their leadership and ability to protect the public.

Neither the mayor of Manhattan nor the governor of Kansas had ordered the evacuation. The recommendation to  evacuate came from the Pentagon and was ordered by the President of the United States. Contrary to the hundreds of rumors flying at breakneck speed across the city and, indeed the world, the threat was not Al Queda or ISIL.

Shoko Matsumoto, the leader of a Japanese group that called itself Bushidō, issued the threat. Bushidō was formed in 2011 to exact revenge for what Matsumoto considered the most egregious acts of terrorism ever committed, the atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Bushidō had issued direct threats before, but those threats had not made their way into the public discourse for many reasons, not the least of which was the consensus among terrorism experts that the group did not have the capacity to carry out even small-scale attacks.

The consensus about Bushidō’s impotence quickly changed with the detonation of a small nuclear device on Clipperton Island, an uninhabited coral atoll south of Mexico and west of Guatemala.  The blast took place forty-eight hours after a message was delivered, by courier, to the offices of the Consulate General of the United States in Guadalajara, Jalisco, Mexico.  The message read as follows:

In two days time, Bushidō will detonate a nuclear device on Clipperton Island to demonstrate our ability to carry out our objectives.

Following the detonation, Bushidō will carry out an act of retaliation and revenge against the United States for its brutal slaughter of innocent Japanese in Hiroshima and Nagasaki. If you follow our instructions, there will be only one act of retaliation and it will be on a far smaller scale than your attacks on our people.

We intend to repay the fruits of your Manhattan Project with our own Manhattan Project, the destruction of Manhattan, Kansas. You must accept the destruction of Manhattan, Kansas as the punishment for your country’s unspeakable deeds. If you allow the destruction to take place without attempting to find our devices or evacuate the city, the score will be settled.

However, if you attempt to find our device or if you attempt to save your people through evacuation, we will visit on you an even more horrific event, death and destruction beyond anything your country has ever witnessed, the total obliteration of another Manhattan, the Manhattan in New York.

The detonation on Clipperton Island was not noticed by the public, nor reported by the media. It was noticed, though, by the U.S. government and the detonation was detected by major global powers including among others Russia, China, Japan, and Germany. Diplomatic channels quickly assured news of the blast would not be disclosed.

Following the President’s order to evacuate Manhattan, Kansas, a second message from Bushidō reached the Embassy of the United States in Ottawa, Canada.

Bushidō is disappointed in your failure to follow our instructions. Shortly after you receive this message, the city of Manhattan, Kansas will cease to exist. One day later, New York City and, specifically Manhattan, will pay for your President’s bad faith decision.”

Connor Embleman’s eyes were on the monitor when the image of empty street disappeared, replaced by broken, chaotic black and white lines.  Sixty miles away, sitting in the Topeka Fire Chief’s office on Southeast Jefferson Street, Connor felt the concussion of the blast.

In Washington, DC, the President of the United States watched as a video feed from a camera trained on Manhattan from thirty miles away displayed the brilliant blast and the ensuing mushroom cloud. The moment the explosion took place, her eyes widened and her lips parted slightly as involuntarily she sucked in air.

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One Hundred Ninety

Fear is the springboard for hatred.  Even hatred that emerges from bravado is a response to deep, uncontrollable fear. Racism and homophobia are but two examples of fear-based hatred. The terror that gives rise to such hatred is evidence of extraordinary feelings of inadequacy; I suspect it’s terror of oneself. People look in the mirror and cannot stand the fear they see confronting them; their terror of knowing themselves turns to hatred. Sick and ugly hatred.

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Steam

I admit it. I am intolerant of raw stupidity, stupidity fueled by emotional reactions to issues that require intellect for understanding. Were I more understanding, I might grasp that emotional responses are the only ones available to some people; I might understand that some people do not have the intellectual capacity to comprehend the issues confronting them, so they turn to emotion, the only tool available to them.

Perhaps, though, I might have the capacity to be more understanding but simply choose the non-empathic road, allowing myself to coldly judge on the basis of intellectual inadequacy. That gets to the heart of my intolerance, I think. I have the ability to be tolerant, but I choose to overlook that ability in favor of the ability to judge.

There is a vast difference between ignorance and stupidity. Ignorance is the absence of knowledge; I am willing to tolerate ignorance, up to a point. I define stupidity, though, as willful ignorance, ignorance built upon refusal to allow knowledge to replace emptiness.

I will look back at this post and be upset with myself for having written it. But it is best, I think, to record such moods and attitudes so I can, later, successfully assign those attributes to characters about whom I am writing. Today, though, I am writing simply to vent a little steam.

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One Hundred Eighty-Nine

The world whispers about all its secrets. Only those who listen intently hear them.

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Tough Days

Yesterday was a tough day, as I learned from a friend that she was afraid her husband, also a friend, might be dying. Just a few days ago, he was taken from the rehab center where he is undergoing physical therapy to the hospital, then put in intensive care.  His breathing is labored, fluid on his lungs makes it hard to get enough oxygen in his blood, he is in renal failure, and he slips in and out of conscious coherence.  My wife and sister-in-law and I went to the hospital to see them, but could only see her because our arrival did not coincide with extremely limited visiting hours.  But we took her to lunch and talked and listened and tried to make the best of an awful situation.

Today, my friend sent me a text. No longer was it just her fear; the doctors had as much as said they were doing all they could, but it would be just a matter of time before either the heart, the lungs, or the kidneys would give out completely. They suggested moving him, when he is stable enough, to hospice.

When I got the text, I tried to respond, but my attempt failed; I was in a “dead zone” in which I could receive an occasional text, but mine could not be sent. So I left my pottery class and headed to the hospital.  I saw her sitting outside the front door on a bench. Just as I arrived, another friend drove up.  The three of us went out to lunch to escape the hospital; again, visiting hours had just ended and she had not been allowed to stay.

She talked about his condition and what she was doing to plan for the inevitable. She is remarkably strong, in light of the circumstances, but there are cracks in that steel case.  She listened to a voice message from his granddaughter that came in while she had been in ICU earlier in the day; it caused her to tear up.  She played it on speaker phone. These are not the exact words of the voicemail, but they are close, I think:

Grandma, please tell grandpa I love him. Could you play this message on speaker phone for him?  Grandpa, I love you. Whatever happens in the hospital, whether it goes well or not…I just want to let you know you’re the best grandpa I’ve ever had…I love you so much (here, she breaks into sobs)…oh, maybe you better not play this for him. But please hug him for me. I love you grandma…(more sobs) goodbye.

She explained that he wasn’t even her natural grandfather but a grandfather by second marriage. My friend and her granddaughter weren’t the only ones in tears.

Back at the hospital, sitting in the waiting room for an hour, we talked more about he she was reacting and what she needed to do. His sons were on the way, and one of her daughters was heading in to see her, too. I offered a place for anyone needed a bed; she said she might take me up on it, especially for a memorial service, as there will be more people than she has beds.

She said one of the doctors spoke of his condition like this: “It is as if he is surrounded by wolves. We can ward them off with a barrier for a while, but it won’t be long before one of them breaks through and takes him.”

At the commencement of visiting hours, I accompanied her to see him. Only immediate family is permitted in the ICU, so I was to be his brother if asked. When a doctor dropped by to check on him, I was introduced as his brother.  When we got to his area (a tiny room with one solid wall, two glass walls, and a sliding glass door (that was open) onto the nurses’ area in the center of the unit), we saw that his eyes were closed.  He had on an oxygen mask, which made it impossible to understand him, but after a couple of minutes a nurse took it off, advising us to watch the monitors and to call her if the oxygen sensors detected a significant drop.

His wife woke him up with her greeting. His eyes opened and he looked around, seeming to be a bit confused. But he quickly became coherent and aware. Once the oxygen mask was off, he knew who I was and thanked me for visiting. And he made it clear that he was thirsty.  “Water. Water!”

The nurse asked him, “Are you thirsty?”

“Yes!”

“When she slipped the straw into his mouth and he had been able to suck in and swallow some water, he paused and said, “Water. Cool, clear water.”  Then he took another few sips. And then he said, “Vodka. Cool, clear vodka.”

He was most definitely feeling better!  His sense of humor came through loud and clear, even though he was bed-bound with wires and tubes in every orifice and beeping machinery surrounding him.

We chatted for a bit, but it was clear to me he was very tired, so I decided to leave. And his “sister,” actually a friend of the couple, was waiting outside to see him.  I thought it best to let people see him while  he was feeling awake and a little alert.

I left. And I thought to myself, “The last two days have been tough. ”

But what’s a little tough for me is life-changing and traumatic for them. And life-changing may not be the right term; life-ending could be the term, but I wish it weren’t.

 

Posted in Aging, Death, Friendship, Health | 3 Comments

Sisyphus

At once hopeful and despairing, this life—this life of chaos and serenity in the void of space—is a strange place to live. We watch centuries go by with advancements that would astonish the god we so fervently wish for, yet we can’t seem to figure out how to tackle the basic problem: acting without compassion. It’s not everyone, of course, but it’s enough of us to destroy any hope we’ve ever had of lasting peace. We are the embodiment of both Sisyphus and his stone. Year after year, generation after generation, millenia after millenia.

I wrote that paragraph a long time ago. Since then, a friend has written about Sisyphus; the things he’s written caused me to dredge this up. It’s the best I can do this morning.

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One Hundred Eighty-Eight

I suspect that, at some point in the not-too-distant future, life forms will be capable of changing as quickly as the technologies created by humankind.  For example, the evolution of exceptionally efficient biological filters might take place to replace the already extraordinary, but all-too-fallible, filters that remove impurities from our blood. Perhaps these rapid evolutionary adjustments will require intervention by our technologies, but they may not be, in and of themselves, technological adaptations. Instead, they might simply be accelerated natural transformations, undertaken to adjust to the world in which we live. Might our lungs adjust to remove impurities from the air we breathe just as our livers remove  impurities from our blood? Self-healing heart valves. The ability to grow additional fingers or whole hands to accommodate new requirements in physical dexterity. Science fiction has, so frequently, anticipated radical change in the world. Perhaps we will have transcended science fiction when our own bodies repair and adapt to the high-speed changes mankind imposes on the world and on himself.

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Commitment to Write

I committed to myself that I would write at least two posts on this blog every day this year. So far, I have fulfilled the commitment. It is not always easy. Some days, I’ve posted only short bursts of words here, opting to invest my creativity in things better shared elsewhere, or not shared at all.

Today, I am writing just to write. My creativity seems to have fled into the woods, attempting to use speed and distance to escape the wolves.

I look out the window, hoping to find inspiration in the trees the ground littered with leaves and dead branches. Instead, I see grey mist and white fog and the dark outlines of trees against drabness. The only patches of color I see are the red stripes and blue background of the stars on my neighbors’ American flag, and the strip of green ground cover next to their driveway. I suppose seeing the red, white, and blue is an appropriate symbol that we’ve just celebrated Independence Day, though even that bit of symbolism does nothing for my creativity today.

Creativity is not something that responds well to commands. It is not an engine started with the turn of a key. Instead, it resides in a place within that responds only to certain stimuli, and only when the context is right. The trick is determining what stimuli are necessary for the right context.

Someone more analytical than I might keep a record—a diary of sorts—tracking the “sparks” that served as stimuli for creative writing and the context in which those stimuli worked their magic. There was a time I might have done that, when I valued my analytical abilities more than I do today. Today, though, I look at such an exercise as having value equivalent to counting all the leaves on all the trees in all the world; impressive information, to be sure, but with no practical application in the chaotic real world.

If I am being honest with myself this morning—and I should be—I suppose it’s not the lack of creativity that is keeping me from “creative” writing, it’s the lack of will. There are thousands of ideas floating around in my head and literally dozens of posts I’ve started but not finished. I could use one of those sparks if I really wanted to write. I could use the prompts from writers’ contests that I’ve intended to enter. But I just don’t want to. Perhaps it’s laziness that’s decided to come to spend some time in my brain. For the moment, it doesn’t matter, for I’ve fulfilled my obligation to myself by writing what I’ve written.

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One Hundred Eighty-Seven

The effort required to present a positive facade can drain what little energy is left. A tank of gas, a power bar and a thermos full of coffee can restore that lost spark.

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Only So Far…

The difference between fear and terror is one of intensity and effect. Fear is authoritative. Terror is dominant. Fear generates a response. Terror triggers panic. Fear leads to action. Terror results in paralysis.

Consider, as well, the difference between liking and loving. The verb form of like means ‘to regard with favor.’ Love means ‘to have a tender or passionate affection for.’

Language tends to be an inadequate purveyor of experiences that go beyond a racing heartbeat and clammy skin. Words can go only so far, but no further. But words can spark the imagination, which can take us well beyond the feeble limits of vowels and consonants. Writers try to shape responses to their ideas through words, but only readers can complete the task with their imaginations.

A writer can coax a reader to fear. I do not know of an incidence in which I, as a reader, have ever crossed the boundary into terror due to a writer’s words. Similarly, a writer can cajole a reader to like a character. I cannot imagine myself, or anyone else, falling in love with a character.

As beautiful as words and language are, there simply is no substitute for experience.

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One Hundred Eighty-Six

Let’s suppose a celebrated trio of well-known scientists—a psychiatrist, a sociologist, and a physicist—jointly create a spectacularly powerful substance that, when administered to humans in aerosol form, makes people extremely susceptible to suggestion. Let’s further suppose this trio develops a mechanism whereby the substance can be administered globally at essentially the same time. And let’s further assume that, with the assistance of powerful global communications networks, it is possible to simultaneously deliver to the world’s population a message suggesting that humankind’s survival requires all people to renounce all forms of violence and to respect all other people.

The question: With the expectation that all forms of violence and civil conflicts would essentially stop in their tracks with the implementation of such a process, would such execution by the trio and their supporting communications network be ethical?

Why or why not?

 

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Physicsal Education

There is something to physics, after all. It’s not just a mystical web of mathematical equations used to describe the nature of matter and energy and the interaction between them.

It’s actually an elegant framework for understanding the universe and not quite as complex as I once thought. But it’s still too complex for me to fully comprehend. Well, to be honest, I can comprehend only bits and pieces of it. But as I gradually and occasionally learn more about physics, I am astonished at its majesty. It’s the same with mathematics, another subject for which I had never felt love, but much fear. I sometimes curse my education for failing to adequately inform me, or to persuade me, about the value of the more difficult subjects.

While I was in school, I allowed myself to veer away from the “hard” subjects because I found myself unable to grasp them easily. I had to work at understanding math and chemistry. Instead of being forced to confront my laziness and dedicate the necessary time and mental energy to learn those subjects, I was permitted to drift toward and focus on subjects I found easy: English, social studies, geography, and the like.  Even in college, the liberal arts path I followed had few requirements in the way of mathematics or science. College was, like high school, easy. I gravitated toward subjects that were interesting to me and easy for me to learn. I steered away from math, science, and physics.

Looking back on my education, I wonder how different my life would have been had I been required to work—hard—to learn the “hard” subjects. While generally content with my liberal arts education, I think my understanding of the world would be richer had I worked harder to learn things I found difficult to comprehend. Instead, my education encouraged me to explore a world of thought and ideas in which an appreciation of language, rather than an understanding of the physical world, was the currency of success. For me, that was always easy. I wish I’d taken at least a few forays down a more difficult path.

Were I to be given the task of redesigning education, from pre-school through the baccalaureate level, I would insist that kids who display an interest in and facility with language be allowed to follow that path, but that they also be required to develop at least a fundamental working knowledge of science and mathematics. Physics would be a required subject in high school.  On the other hand, kids that gravitate toward science and mathematics would be permitted to indulge their interests, but they would be required to understand the structure and beauty of language and the importance of understanding the ways in which human interactions, both individual and societal, shape the world.  I suppose I consider such a process requisite for one to have a truly well-rounded education.

But I don’t have the task of redesigning education, except for myself. And so, on occasion, I will venture into the worlds of chemistry and mathematics and physics and even engineering so I can better understand and appreciate this world in which I live.

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