Category Archives: Humor

Paying for One’s Sins

Posted on April 25, 2019 by John Swinburn

I would have shared this on Facebook, but I suspect it would be offensive to some people who don’t share my sacrilegious sense of humor. I almost sprayed coffee through my nose while I watched this video. I may actually … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Religion | Leave a comment

Fools and Poetry

Posted on April 2, 2019 by John Swinburn

My April Fool’s post on Facebook yesterday was too obvious. It fooled no one, at least not for long. Here is a gently edited version: If I hadn’t seen the court papers myself, I never would have believed it. But … Continue reading →

Posted in Absurdist Fantasy, Attempted Humor, Humor, Poetry | Leave a comment

Maggie’s Birthday Story as Told by the Son Barack Obama Didn’t Know He Had

Posted on November 2, 2018 by John Swinburn

Around two months ago, a post I wrote focused almost exclusively on a woman I dated once while I was a young, inexperienced kid. I have only a slightly greater reason to write about her today than I did two … Continue reading →

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Another Ode to Edward

Posted on October 13, 2018 by John Swinburn

A year ago this past June, I wrote an “Ode to Edward Gorey,” which was in reality a poorly-done knock-off of his The Gashlycrumb Tinies, which I’ve always just loved. My sense of humor is admittedly macabre. Well, I wrote another, … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Poetry | Leave a comment

Guilt by Reason of Aforethought

Posted on June 1, 2017 by John Swinburn

This may seem like I’m stereotyping. Okay, I’m stereotyping. I’ll admit that up front, before the reader gets to that point at which I am clearly stereotyping. So, there will be no condemnation of the fact that I’m unwittingly stereotyping … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Writing | Leave a comment

Piano Man

Posted on March 9, 2017 by John Swinburn

This crude, but clever, joke will find its way into my fiction writing some day, in one form or another. I’m not much of a humor writer, but this might be the perfect vignette to set the stage for a … Continue reading →

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Social Evenings Can Change Dull to Dynamic

Posted on October 6, 2016 by John Swinburn

This evening, my wife and I attended the second Wines of the World dinner organized by the manager of the Coronado Center, a venue operated by our property owners association. The first event, focusing on the food and wine of … Continue reading →

Posted in Beer, Happiness, Humor, Wine | Leave a comment

Valentine’s Day Demise

Posted on February 15, 2016 by John Swinburn

A little post-Valentine’s Day whimsical satire… ‘Twas the day after V-Day, smelling chocolate and honey. Most wallets were empty, yet we kept spending money. Credit cards maxed out, with creditors waiting, to be paid with our gluttony and our bad … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Poetry | 1 Comment

Writers’ Retreat

Posted on November 3, 2015 by John Swinburn

It won’t be long before I depart Hot Springs Village with three friends and colleagues for a three-day experiment in productivity. We’re driving to Eureka Springs to spend three days and nights at The Writers’ Colony at Dairy Hollow in … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Wisdom, Writing | 4 Comments

¿Son Otras Inquisiciones?

Posted on August 20, 2015 by John Swinburn

A year or so ago, I revived an old idea of mine, one I had conceived years ago. I had not acted upon the idea because the cost to do so was beyond my financial means at the time. But the … Continue reading →

Posted in Fiction, Humor, Writing | 1 Comment

Curious but Meaningless

Posted on April 13, 2015 by John Swinburn

This is day number 22,454 of my life, which means I was born 3207 weeks and 5 days ago. I’ve experienced fifteen leap years in my life. I’ve experienced just a shade more than 738 months. I was born on a Wednesday … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Just Thinking, Time | Leave a comment

The Best Medical Care in the World

Posted on March 12, 2015 by John Swinburn

Among the many arguments against nationalized medicine is the suggestion that our “best medical care in the world” would suffer under nationalization.  Immediately following the assertion that nationalization would be an abysmal affront to humanity and would lead to long delays … Continue reading →

Posted in Health, Humor | 1 Comment

Father Google and the Dilemma of Cilantro

Posted on March 10, 2015 by John Swinburn

It occurred to me yesterday afternoon that some people may have had the same experience I’ve had with cilantro. Maybe both some of the people who read this blog have had a similar experience with cilantro.  If so, I’m here … Continue reading →

Posted in Food, Humor | 2 Comments

The Offender

Posted on August 18, 2014 by John Swinburn

Dogs like Amish jalapeño jack cheese.  All right, I’ve made a blanket statement that may not be true.  One dog, in particular, likes Amish jalapeño jack cheese. Last night, we had dinner with friends.  She cooked wonderful German pork chops … Continue reading →

Posted in Food, Humor | Leave a comment

Interview Questions

Posted on July 29, 2014 by John Swinburn

Questions to avoid asking during an interview: Do you have a policy on missing work for communications with a hostage negotiator? Are employees who drive to work permitted to sleep at the office if they get too drunk after work to drive … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor | 3 Comments

Uncool. Yeah, that’s the way I roll.

Posted on January 6, 2014 by John Swinburn

I take pleasure in knowing that I enjoy certain things that have outlived their brief periods of being cool.  Is it perverse pleasure?  I don’t know.  You tell me. Here is what I am hearing about the now out-of-vogue stuff … Continue reading →

Posted in Fashion, Food, Humor, Popularity | 3 Comments

“Resting” Face

Posted on July 2, 2013 by John Swinburn

I think I may have discovered why some people automatically assume I’m pissed off, unfriendly, or downright dangerous.

Posted in Communication, Humor | 2 Comments

I Forgot I Didn’t Have Amnesia…But…the Dream

Posted on March 3, 2013 by John Swinburn

UPDATE: After my wife woke up, I told her about what I had written. Her memory is better than mine.  My comments at the end reflect the original version; the revised and corrected information in the body of the post … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Insomnia, Language | Leave a comment