Author Archives: John Swinburn

The postal carrier, day before yesterday, delivered an unpleasant surprise. Apparently, I somehow had missed an earlier notice, a few months ago, that property and personal taxes were due before October 15; the piece of mail bearing that news notified … Continue reading →

Last night or early this morning, several times when I was halfway between sleep and waking, I thought I heard the rumble of distant thunder. But the sky remains too dark to see storm clouds—if, in fact, they are present—even … Continue reading →

Visiting hours in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) are 1 to 7 p.m. I was there just before visiting hours began, so I had to wait a few minutes before I was allowed to go upstairs to visit my wife’s … Continue reading →

I did not sleep well last night. The fact that my wife is in ICU kept invading my thoughts, interrupting my sleep. And, oddly enough, I was troubled all night, too, by the dilemma of how I will get her … Continue reading →

For ten days and then some, my wife has been trying to recover her strength at home, after having been discharged from a rehab facility in which her strength ebbed during her two-month-plus stay. That struggle has not been easy. … Continue reading →

Today, November 2, is my late sister’s birthday. She died on February 19, 2010. On one hand, it seems like a lifetime ago; on the other, like yesterday. On the day of her death, and a few times since, I … Continue reading →

Sometimes, when things spring without warning from one’s long-buried subconscious, inexplicable biases become instantly transparent. So it was this morning as I glanced at a vase on the kitchen island. Almost all the flowers in the vase, full of carnations, … Continue reading →

Time compresses into an invisible blur. Hours become single-digit minutes. Minutes become seconds. Seconds become fractional measures of experience; they are so brief one hundred thousand units equates to the measure of moments required for a single beat of a … Continue reading →

Sources of energy and  inspiration—shafts of bright light piercing absolute darkness—emerge from unexpected places.  They may arise from comments uttered by a close friend who expresses his care or from words sent by someone known only by name and her … Continue reading →

The global chaos surrounding COVID-19, presidential elections, climate catastrophe, mass hysteria and psychoses, and all manner of other horrors fade when I am so focused on what is going on in my own house. The world around me becomes less … Continue reading →

Only four and a half days have passed since my wife returned home from her very long stint in the hospital (two stays) and rehabilitation facilities (two facilities). While I do not doubt for a minute the value of her … Continue reading →

A new visitor (I think the visitor is new, anyway) left a very helpful comment for me yesterday. Unfortunately, WordPress has, for the last week or more, steadfastly refused to reveal anything about comments except the number left on a … Continue reading →

Yesterday gave me an education. I had half expected my wife to come home in a jubilant mood, finally home after three-plus months. That was an unrealistic expectation. Why would I expect that when her return home was so different … Continue reading →

I awoke about 2:30 this morning. I got up for a while, then went back to bed to try to sleep. Eventually, after what seemed like an hour, I drifted off. But I awoke again just before five with an … Continue reading →

Finally, I found a caregiver agency that could commit to having someone here when my wife comes home. They will stay until around 8 pm and will return the next two days for twelve hour shifts. I hope, during that … Continue reading →

The first thing I did this morning after getting up, even before making coffee, was to put sheets in the washer. Yesterday, I stripped our bed and, with some much-needed help from the guy who painted my deck (and his … Continue reading →

I received a surprise phone call yesterday morning. Good Sam is discharging my wife on Friday because her progress does not meet Medicare standards for improvement, they say. Medicare will not continue to pay, so she is coming home. While … Continue reading →

I’ve been binging on Deadwind, described by Forbes as “Nordic noir,” for the last few evenings. Like so many other Scandinavian films and television series I’ve watched during the past few years, it is—to me—absolutely gripping. I cannot quite put … Continue reading →

Something is awry when, at just a bit after two in the afternoon, one feels a sudden desire for a shot of good whiskey. The onset of such a craving should wait until after dinner; that’s the natural time for … Continue reading →

Thus far, I have resisted the temptation to turn on the heat, opting instead to cope with the moderate discomfort of too cool temperatures by wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt in the house. This morning, the indoors temperature is 66 … Continue reading →

The southeastern sky is a remarkable vision this morning. Purple and pink and grey and deep blue peek through spaces between leaves and branches as yet unlit by the morning sun. Where the sky is not partially hidden by the … Continue reading →

You wake up one morning, still a little sleepy but ready to tackle the day before you. After a cup of coffee, you choose the clothes you will wear. You get dressed and prepare to leave the house on your … Continue reading →

Materialism creeps into our lives without our knowledge or consent. We see something interesting or hear about an item that appeals to a longing we think is within us. Or we watch an advertisement designed to trigger that longing, even … Continue reading →

An brief excursion into Greek and Roman mythology this morning veered sharply into an interest in linguistic treatment of grammatical structures across languages. I have always abhorred explorations into the formalities of grammatical structures, perhaps because I found the explanations … Continue reading →