Author Archives: John Swinburn

Yesterday afternoon, I started feeling rather rotten; another bout of general discomfort similar to the same sensations from recent days, with the addition of pain in my stomach. But yesterday was measurably worse. By the time we were half-way into … Continue reading →

The room in the Double tree by Hilton is dark. I have been awake for quite some time; long enough to shower, shave, get dressed, and putter around in the dark while my IC sleeps. Hotel rooms, by and large, … Continue reading →

I’ve spent the last two hours attempting to clear my throat for just long enough to fall asleep in a chair. It hasn’t worked. Three hours hence, I have to be at my oncologist’s office for my periodic labs and … Continue reading →

I skimmed the news headlines this morning, hoping for something that would feed a positive mood. The positive motivator was missing from the headlines. In its place, the media reports on admittedly critical matters upon which the future of humanity … Continue reading →

I have never been so damn stopped up. It was as if my sinuses had been plugged with silicone, subsequently thoroughly dried. Ten minutes after getting upright, coughing furiously all the while, I am back to “normal.” The doctors, in … Continue reading →

A couple of days ago, a friend came to visit. During our conversations, it became apparent that many of our desires, with respect to places we might like to live, hinge on climate. Especially the tolerability (or lack thereof) of … Continue reading →

For reasons that do not matter for the purposes of what I’m writing here, I questioned whether I have ever been really depressed. Or even truly anxiety ridden. Or adequately denied forgiveness. And I questioned, and still do, whether I … Continue reading →

Not long ago, I started writing a poem. Well, it wasn’t really a poem; not a legitimate poem. It was moderately rhythmic evidence of psycho-absurdity. I shouldn’t even admit to writing it, much less to sharing the first two lines … Continue reading →

Yesterday’s late-ish breakfast consisted of a monstrous burrito, one for each of us, at Taqueria Queretaro, a larger-than-average taqueria in Bryan, Arkansas (where Benton ends and Bryan begins remains a mystery to me). After picking up my newly-repaired car from … Continue reading →

I got up about 7, extremely late for me. When I awoke around 4, I felt like I was ready to get up for the day, but my back bothered me a bit, so I decided to try to sleep … Continue reading →

El alacrán.  Scorpion. Escorpión.  A terrestrial arachnid with pincers similar to those of a lobster. The creature has a painful and poisonous sting, delivered from the end of a jointed tail. The beast can hold its tail, curved, over its back. … Continue reading →

If we forced ourselves to look three or four generations beyond today—maybe just one or two—would we make the same mistakes we’re making today? Would we correct our errors to the extent possible, preparing the world to be safer and … Continue reading →

The utter impossibility of knowing even an infinitesimal fraction of everything there is to know is the allure of the universe. The possibility that somewhere, well beyond the limits of our reach and our imaginations, the ultimate answer to everything … Continue reading →

Year after year after year, the public watches helplessly as Congress grows more and more fractious, unwilling to meet in the middle to achieve true consensus. We watch in anguish as the country’s gears grind slowly to a halt, the … Continue reading →

Some mornings beg for words to describe them. Others beg to be left alone in silence. The mornings may possess all the same characteristics; they may look identical in the eyes of an uninvolved observer. But to the person deeply … Continue reading →

In recognition of what would have been my mother’s 113th birthday, I post this image of her favorite flower—the “Yellow Rose of Texas.” She was 45 when I was born. Giving birth at that age was virtually unheard of nearly … Continue reading →

Something has happened to us. Whether we have been exposed to COVID-19 or not, we’ve been exposed to its psychological fallout. Our minds have been irrevocably altered by a combination of fear, denial, bravado, and stunned disbelief. During the early … Continue reading →

I’m nostalgic for a future that will never be. ~ Rommel Wood, producer, Ask Me Another ~ Rommel Wood’s comment about what he’ll miss about the radio game show he produced echoes some of my emotions about the show, though … Continue reading →

Reveal too much and you expose the fact that you’re a bore. Reveal too little and you fail to spur even a shred of excitement in others about yourself. Yet the amount to reveal that’s “just right” is incalculable; it’s … Continue reading →

Once again, my plans were slightly derailed yesterday. Instead of getting two CT scans, I waited patiently to be called back for the procedures, only to be told the machinery malfunctioned. The scans are now scheduled for a week later. … Continue reading →

My friend, Deanna, left a comment on yesterday’s post that triggered recollections of many, many of my previous posts. Those posts reflect a theme I’ve lived with for my entire life, I think. And I suspect it’s a theme woven … Continue reading →

Before I memorialize the unpleasantness of yesterday, I’ll wax philosophical about the future. The future does not simply happen. It arises from what came before it. The future emerges from what we did yesterday, what we do today, and the … Continue reading →

Once upon a time, when I was younger, better-looking, and smarter, I spent three semesters (give or take) learning to make questionably attractive or utilitarian “objets d’art” from clay and to throw pottery. “Learning” is a misnomer, as is “art.”  … Continue reading →

Yesterday, I dozed—off and on—instead of accomplishing much of value. While I had plenty of sleep the night before, I felt mentally exhausted. Mental exhaustion sometimes is inexplicable to me; I have no idea what brings it on. Perhaps the … Continue reading →

I watch online news video as people morph into the emotional equivalent of dried leather; tough, hard, inflexible, uncaring, bitter, cold-blooded, and callously inhumane. These people occupy philosophical space on the far ends of both sides of neutral—and every inch … Continue reading →