Toilet Zen

Had the universe operated as it should, Home Depot would have delivered, yesterday, a new American Standard Champion 4 High-Efficiency 1.28 GPF Single Flush Elongated Toilet. I was given a window of delivery of 6 a.m. to 8 p.m., meaning I might have been required to be home for a fourteen hour period, just waiting. But, at around 11:15, I picked up the phone, even though the caller ID was for an unfamiliar caller (normally, I ignore such calls): Cardinal Logistics. The caller was a driver for the company, who said he was about to leave Benton with my toilet. I said I’d be waiting.

“I’m driving a 40-foot semi; will I have any difficulties reaching your house?”

“Yes, very probably. Aside from very steep hills and sharp turns, delivery to my house is down a very steep driveway. I don’t think you can deliver it here with your truck.”

“Do you have any suggestions?”

“Um, not really.”

“Well, we just deliver for them, uh…”

“My only suggestion is to return it to Home Depot.”

“Okay, I appreciate that. It’ll save me from wasting an hour.”

And that was that. I called Home Depot’s customer service, who transferred me to the Benton store, which was responsible for filling the order. They cannot do anything to refund my money until the Cardinal Logistics driver returns the toilet. And they offered no option of an alternative mode of delivery. If I had a pickup, I could have simply bought it at the store. But I do not have a pickup. And the box is far too large to fit in the back of our little vehicle. Had I ordered a toilet from Lowe’s in Hot Springs, the toilet would have been delivered on a small truck, easily capable of maneuvering the hills of Hot Springs Village. But Lowe’s doesn’t carry the one we chose; only Home Depot carries it.

I’m growling and it’s not even 6:30 a.m. yet. That’s not the best way to start the day. I will see about rebooting.


About John Swinburn

"Love not what you are but what you may become."― Miguel de Cervantes
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