Two Hundred Fifty-Seven

The likelihood that I will be called out as a fashion plate is less than slim. I’m comfortable with that, just as I’m comfortable in my unfashionable clothes. I have friends who would shudder if they were forced to wear my over-the-top-comfortable clothes, because they place greater value on appearance than I do. But it’s not just that; they’re just more comfortable with a pair of slacks and a nicely pressed shirt (or whatever) than they would be in my clean but rumpled shirt and shorts and flip-flops (or tennis shoes, for more formal affairs). And that’s fine; if they’re happy, I’m happy. Of course, I hope they are happy with my extreme casual style.

All of the aforementioned notwithstanding, on rare occasion I rather enjoy “dressing up.” There’s something about stylish casual clothes on the upper end of casual, just shy of formal, that I find appealing once in a very long while. And by long while, I’m talking annually or every other year, maybe once every three years.

The hypocrisy in this, of course, is that I find well-dressed people more attractive than people who dress the way I do. Then again, I’m not looking to be attractive to them, so I suppose it’s all right, after all.

Some mornings, I ruminate about such mundane things, don’t I?

Posted in Ruminations | Leave a comment

Poetry

Next Wednesday night, I’ll again go on stage as “feature poet” at Hot Springs’ Wednesday Night Poetry. The first time I did my gig, it was held at Maxine’s, a bar and music venue. Since then, the organizers of Wednesday Night Poetry have moved to Kollective Coffee.  Wednesday Night Poetry has been held every single Wednesday for something like 1375 consecutive weeks; that’s more than twenty-six years, without missing a single night, regardless of circumstances.

I’ve attended Wednesday Night Poetry only a half-dozen times since I moved to Arkansas. I enjoy it, but it’s a bit of a drive and I am not a fan of night driving; my as-yet-uncorrected left eye is not a fan of night driving. I’m flattered to have been invited back, but I don’t yet really feel part of the poetry community. That’s because I really am an outsider. That, and I’m not a poet in the same sense as many regulars are; they live and breathe poetry, while I simply use it as a needed outlet from time to time.

This time, I’ve been asked if I would be willing to go on a new local radio station after the set is over (actually, an hour after the program ends, which would have me going on the radio program at around 10:00 pm). I don’t know much about what would be expected of me; I imagine I’d be asked to read, though it might involve being interviewed. Though I’m intrigued by it, I’m a little cautious, too. I suppose I’ll just wait to see what I can see.

I’ve tentatively decided on the poems I’ll read, though if it’s like last time, I’ll shift gears up to and including the time I’m on. The list I’ve selected is a mix of old and new poems, with a few of the older ones modified a bit since last time around.  Most are relatively short poems, though “Intersection” is a long one I read last time.  The list is a mish-mash of emotional levels, from dark to whimsical.

  • Circles on a Train
  • Seductions
  • Mint and Lamb
  • Stripper Pole
  • Intersection
  • Better Whiskers
  • The Road
  • Strangers Who Would be Friends
  • Relics
  • Mythic Meals
  • Star Dust

Having heard some truly excellent poets during WNP during the few times I’ve been, I feel very much like an amateur. And, in fact, I am. And I always will be. I suppose you have to expect a few amateurs on stage from time to time if you’re going to commit to a weekly poetry program. It will be interesting to see the audience this time around. I suspect it will be very small. I think the cadre of regulars tends to be very small, with fill-in when someone of note is on stage. This Wednesday, there’s no one of note on stage. I hope the regulars show; it would be a little disconcerting to read only to the host and the baristas, though it might be a little less intimidating.

Posted in Just Thinking | 2 Comments

Two Hundred Fifty-Six

In recent years, I have come to realize that my lifelong disdain for religion has never been particularly helpful to anyone, including myself. While I do not believe in a deity of any sort, nor do I believe in supernatural auras and karma nor the thousand other proxies for a supreme being, I believe the universe is a wondrously heterogeneous place, with room for perspectives as diverse as this place in which we live. So long as those perspectives do no harm, I have no objection to them. Therein lies the rub. It’s not so much the beliefs I abhor, it’s the practices of the believers. I honestly believe that most religions have, at their core, foundations inspired by goodness.

Yesterday, I had occasion to read different versions of mealtime “grace” as practiced by different religious and non-religious groups. The principal difference between them was in whether they recognized a deity; otherwise, they all expressed appreciation for the earth, the bounties they enjoy, the people around them, and the goodness of the earth. Stripped of their religious robes, their messages were beautiful thoughts even the most devout atheist would accept and appreciate.

Would that we could, as humans, focus on the message instead of the method of getting to it.

Posted in Ruminations | Leave a comment

Musings on Meat and Much More

I read a post on Quora a few weeks ago that got me questioning, again, about how many of us humans came to such ambivalence about food.  Why, for example, are so many of us happy carnivores when the food on the table is a big beef steak, but we turn away in horror and disgust if the meal consists of the cooked corpse of a cat or a dog? I know; some cultures do not behave the way Americans do. Cats and dogs are perfectly acceptable foods in those cultures.  I think, though, some of those cultures have issues with eating cows and goats and sheep.

But,  back to the U.S. Why is it all right to butcher and consume the flesh of a pig, yet we recoil in horror at the idea of killing and eating a horse? And we seem to have no heartburn about eating chicken, but the idea of eating guinea pig is an affront to our sensitivities, notwithstanding our knowledge that many Peruvians, Ecuadorians, and Colombians do it regularly.

In the past, I’ve read all sorts of explanations for our neurotic dietary practices, but this morning I conclude that it’s purely a matter of our minds playing tricks on us, after having been taught to do exactly that.

We deftly overlook the fact that all of these objects of our dining desires were once living, breathing creatures. If we divorce ourselves from our cultural and species-specific  narcissism for a moment, our carnivorous propensities seem more than a  little like murder, just barely removed from cannibalism.

I have never been involved in the earliest stages of the process whereby our carnivorous culinary desires are fulfilled. Had I been involved in raising, and then slaughtering, cows and pigs and chickens and goats, I might be steeled to the shock of the process. I suspect, in a different culture, I might be equally capable of dealing with the killing and field dressing of guinea pigs. Deer hunters are able to overlook the fact that they have just assassinated a doe or buck, so I don’t know why I should find it hard to understand  that hunting and killing horses and cats and dogs, then skinning and butchering them, should be any different. But we know there is a difference, don’t we? We know we learn, from an early age, that killing and eating some animals is acceptable, while killing and eating others are despicable acts, acts tantamount to animal cruelty or, worse, murder.

If I were to allow myself sufficient time to muse on and really contemplate all the steps involved in having my omnivorous desires met, I suspect my consumption of meat would decline precipitously. Imagine, if you will, a pre-meal contemplation of the final breaths of the animal on my plate and the fear that might have accompanied those last moments of life. The carnivorous component of my omnivorousness might diminish dramatically.

But, then, I recall a few years ago reading about (and having the breath knocked out of me in the process) scientific explorations that suggested plants respond to certain stimuli  (e.g., having leaves cut or roots ripped from the ground) in the same way that animals experience pain.  I suspect that the more emotional distance we perceive between the food on our plate and ourselves, the more we permit ourselves to forget or ignore the consequences of our hunger, not to ourselves, but to the object of our consumption.

I feel certain some people might read what I have written and say it is just so much nonsense, the words of someone who felt compelled to write about something, yet had nothing important to write about. I wish those people would force themselves to think more deeply about the subject; not to change their eating habits, only to open their eyes.

Some cultures offer homages or prayers before meals to the animals and plants that died so that humans could eat. Those expressions of sentiment do nothing for the creatures who died , but they might give humans a degree of humility in acknowledging that other creatures sacrificed on their behalf. Knowing the sacrifices that are made to bring food to the table, perhaps a parallel commitment to minimize the pain and suffering involved in the process might be in order. And, I suppose, acknowledgement of all the other people who contributed to the meal might help us appreciate just what was involved in getting food to our plates: the farmers, the people who harvested the crops, the animals, the truck drivers, the butchers, the grocers; the list goes on and on.

For everything we eat, something dies. Someone works to produce the food, to get it to us, to prepare it, to deliver it to the plate.  If nothing else, I believe we ought to really think about that with every meal. Perhaps, if we were more conscious of what we eat and what was involved in getting food in our mouths, obesity might be less of an epidemic.

Posted in Just Thinking | Leave a comment

Two Hundred Fifty-Five

I am living proof that a person can learn simply by remembering, and searching for insights in those memories. Concepts, which in our arrogance we thought we knew to be truths, become harsh lessons in humility and appreciation in retrospect. Old facts become fictions when examined through the prism of history; trite aphorisms become indisputable honesty under the lens of experience.

Posted in Ruminations | Leave a comment

Unexpected Interests

My recent research into first-year anatomy class in medical school—followed by my unnecessary readings about human anatomy, medical school program formats, and the like—has persuaded me I could have successfully pursued a career in medicine. I would have had to change some of my early-adulthood study practices, overcome my allergy to mathematics and chemistry, and sworn off my early college habit of binge-drinking; but had I done those things, I am confident I could have done what must be done to become a doctor.  A successful one, at that.

The research (and the pursuit of interesting but unnecessary related information) came about as a result of a short story I wrote. It was far too short to be submitted for publication and it was not sufficiently meaty to warrant a second look. It had the bones I was looking for, I think, so I opted to pursue it. I’m taking a sabbatical from researching and writing it, but I expect to return to it.

But, the thing is, in doing the necessary and unnecessary research for the story, I discovered how absolutely fascinating human anatomy and medicine are to me. Who knew?  I did, once, but I forgot. Now I know again.

Posted in Just Thinking | 1 Comment

Two Hundred Fifty-Four

Several months ago, I wrote on my blog about a Japanese word (komorebi) that means sunlight filtering through tree leaves. I coined a wholly unsuitable neologism that would get at the theme, but would not be restricted to sunlight filtering through leaves. I said I would use komoshadow to describe the “dim, non-illuminated areas on a wall next to the sunlight coming through a window.” I have not used the word since. That’s because the word is, as I just said, wholly unsuitable. Well, maybe dappleture would work. As in, “The dappleture on the wall beyond the kitchen sink was a photographic negative of a fir tree just outside the window.”  I’m not sure that works, either.  Your thoughts?

Posted in Ruminations | 3 Comments

Just Past the Point

A writer, speaking at a conference I attended, suggested interviewing key characters when it’s tough to decide on the direction one’s writing should take.

So, I asked a character for an interview. He turned me down. I asked again. Same result. Later, he called the police and filed a harassment complaint against me.

I wrote about the incident, thinking my problem solved. He sued me for libel. Acting on the advice of another writer, I killed the offensive character.

I may be just past the point of logic and believability.

Posted in Absurdist Fantasy | 2 Comments

Two Hundred Fifty-Three

Some days, I can amuse myself for hours simply by imagining conversations with high-profile political figures who I’ve kidnapped and locked in my basement.

 

 

Posted in Ruminations | 1 Comment

Two Hundred Fifty-Two

Perseverance is key to attainment, whatever the hard-sought aim. Whether carving a face in the side of a granite mountain, writing an emotionally draining novel, or crafting a new outlook on life, success is the reward for persistence. But that’s not always the case, is it? Even so, trying and failing bruises the ego less fiercely than failing without ever having tried.

Posted in Ruminations | Leave a comment

A Little Ugliness

Just a couple of weeks ago, during my annual physical, I told my doctor my Crohn’s disease has been in remission for a number of years, with only a very rare flare-up. Yesterday, that very rare flare-up occurred; at least I assume that’s what it is.

My gut has been hurting like the devil (off and on) since yesterday morning. I hoped it would be a mild flare and that I could go about my regular business as normal, albeit uncomfortably. After a couple of hours in the pottery studio, it was obvious that was not to be. So, I spent much of the day, from before noon until around five o’clock, in bed, wishing for sleep that never came. Then, I got up for a while, watched television, worked on the computer, and otherwise puttered until about 8:30. I tried bed again. No luck.

I’ve been getting up every half hour or so, waves of gut pain jarring me out of my attempts to sleep. It’s now after 1:30; I’m going to try again. I suspect this post, and the quick rumination that follows, will be it for the day. I do so hope I can sleep, if just a few hours.

 

 

Posted in Health | 1 Comment

Garcia

The Greyhound bus slowed and the driver coasted toward the intersection.  Finally the diesel-belching beast came to a halt. The driver, a guy I’d swear must have been pushing eighty, pressed a button and the door swung open with a loud ‘swoosh’ “This is your stop, pal,” he said.

Newly-plowed fields stretched for miles in every direction. Flat, stark, featureless land all around. No fences, no trees, no rock outcroppings. Nothing.

The sky echoed the camel color of the freshly turned soil. Two two-lane highways crossing one another at a four-way stop sign, miles from any hint of civilization.

I asked myself What the hell am I doing here? as the bus disappeared in the shimmering heat rising from the distant roadway.  The answer came just moments later in the form of loud ranchera music coming from the direction of the disappeared bus.

I squinted to see where the music was coming from. A bicycle and lone rider slowly came into view. It was Garcia.

Garcia owned that part of South Texas. When I say “owned,” I don’t mean it in the literal sense. Yet he really did. No one would dare challenge his right to even a square inch of land down there. It wasn’t his, but it was. He was the only one who could control it. I mean, he was the guy Greyhound asked about a stop. A stop in the middle of nowhere. Even Greyhound knew he was the only one with an answer.

When he finally got to me, he swung his leg over the center bar of the bike and flicked the kickstand. The bicycle ignored his efforts at decorum and fell to the ground, its left pedal stabbing the ground as the front wheel spun freely.

“Amigo!” He lunged toward me with outstretched arms. “You really did it!  You came to visit me, man! I can’t even believe it!”

His scent, a mixture of charred poblano peppers and smoked meat, preceded him. The odor took me back to the previous summer, when I spent time in the decrepit hut he pretended was a house, where he roasted peppers in a makeshift broiler oven made of bricks and clay and oyster shells.

Garcia’s embrace was powerful. I remember the first time he hugged me I was stunned at his grip. For a small man, five foot five I’d guess, his strength was almost frightening. But he was gentle, too. His hug was like that of a bear cradling her cubs; you fear for their safety, but you know her instinct will protect them from her own savage power.

I had learned a few words of Spanish from him during our time together the year before, but he knew language was not my strength, so he didn’t push it. Still, I felt embarrassed to be monolingual in an area in which Hispanic history was such as thick component of the cultural stew. Damn near everyone in that part of the Valley was bilingual. At least anyone with an Hispanic  background was; Anglos tended to be like me: one-dimensional and hollow. My limited linguistic abilities notwithstanding, I responded to Garcia. “¡Mi hermano! ¡Mi Salvador! ¡Hemos estado separados demasiado tiempo!”

In our excitement, neither of us had seen nor heard the car slide up the cross-road. Only after I heard the report of the gunshot did I realize someone else was there. Garcia fell to the ground. The car white Toyota Prius, its black windows concealing whoever sat inside, silently crept away. I could tell by looking at him that Garcia was gone. He was dead and I was alone on a desolate highway with a friend I’d barely been able to touch. I had come to spend time with Garcia, then kill him. Someone else had beat me to the punch.

Garcia’s death was the beginning of a very bad year. If I knew what the future holds for me, I’d say it was the worst year of my life. But tomorrow could be worse, so I can confirm only that the year just ended—the year that began with Garcia’s death—was worse than I’d ever imagined a year could be.

 

 

Posted in Fiction, Writing | Leave a comment

Two Hundred Fifty-One

One recent day, at the local college, I opened the door to the air-conditioned pottery studio after raku-firing several pieces outside in a 1900-degree kiln. Naturally, I was dripping in sweat; my hair wet and my t-shirt drenched.

One of the women in the studio (I was the only male there) looked up as I entered and said, “You look hot.”

“Thank you,” I replied.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and compliments are in the imagination of the beheld.

Posted in Ruminations | Leave a comment

Triggering Reflections

From time to time, I scroll through old posts on this and other blogs I’ve written. That experience can be like igniting memories from cold embers that couldn’t sustain the heat of recollection without help from an accelerant.

This morning, I read a short “ruminations” post, from earlier this year, that spoke of carrying broken branches to the edge of a cliff to throw them off, but finding myself unable to do it because they looked like frightened children who had been separated from their parents. Instead, I wrote, I left them at the edge of the cliff, “hoping the wind would do what I could not.”

I remember my emotions when I wrote that—what I saw in my mind’s eye. I can still recall, quite vividly, what was going through my mind when I wrote it. The post was a metaphor for an emotion saturated with rage had I written it without that device. It was cold, dark anger I could hide only through metaphor. No one who reads the piece could know what prompted those words, but when I read them this morning, it was like reliving what I felt that day. That happens quite a lot with me. Words I write may (or may not) seem simple and straightforward to someone else reading them; they may adequately describe a scene or a person’s face or hands or stance, but they say much more to me than to another person reading them.

One day, I suspect the memories from whence certain of my writings spring will dim and ultimately may be extinguished entirely. For that reason, I plan to write my own author’s notes from time to time to explain the triggers for pieces that are, to me, highly emotional but, for others, probably are not (or which are simply confusing). I’ve created a folder in my “Writing” directory as a start. Today, I’ll write about the trigger for that post.

Posted in Writing | Leave a comment

Two Hundred Fifty

Question your own motives. Don’t accept easy answers. Argue against your own positions and win. Believe in things you cannot accept, ideas anathema to everything rational in your brain. If you can do these things, you can tell stories that must be told. If you can’t, you are not a story-teller. You are not an educator. You are not a thought-provoker; as a writer, you are an impostor whose grandest contribution to the world in which you live is the ego you stoke with lies.

Posted in Ruminations | Leave a comment

I Dreamed of Michael Dell

I don’t have the first clue what Michael Dell and his wife might look like. That notwithstanding, they were in my dreams last night. Michael gave me a check for $10,000 to buy some plastic materials I needed to promote a cause (I don’t remember what) that I had just adopted, thinking it was important. Moving trucks and outlaw rock musicians were involved in the dream in some way. A little later, he gave me another check for $10,000, this one payable to me personally, to enable me to start a 501(c)(3) organization to support the cause. I thanked him profusely, but my wife and I exchanged worried glances; taking the money meant I would have to “unretire” and work on setting up a charitable organization, which neither of us wanted. Then, I went looking for Michael in a beer joint that looked a little like the Flying Saucer, except it had stairs leading down to a huge, dark, smoky room. Then I woke up.

I should have written this down the moment I woke up. I would have captured information about the “cause” that has escaped me. I recall that the cause made no sense to me when I awoke, though, so the entire dream was nonsensical.

Posted in Dreams | Leave a comment

Corazón

Mica Comal slipped out of his coffin, grabbed a cane from a nearby rack, and ambled toward the front door. Episcopalia, the blind Costa Rican woman, stopped him at the door of the church and asked, “¿Tienes corazón negro?”

“No, señora, tengo un corazón de oro,” he replied. His smile was so wide and genuine the old woman could feel its warmth caress her face. In her mind, she could see the old man’s leather face, his wrinkled walnut skin bronzed and polished by eighty years tending crops and watching sunsets across the still waters of the lake.

Episcopalia Frontera was born in Sámara, Costa Rica in 1936, but her memories of the place were dim. She moved with her family to La Magdalena, a tiny village on the eastern shore of Lake Chapala, when she was fifteen.  Moving to join her father’s cousins in La Magdalena would have been easier on her a year earlier, before she fell in love with Miguel.

In spite of having spent the majority of her life in Mexico, Episcopalia considered herself Costa Rican and asserted her nationality regularly to remind the people around her she was not Mexican. Many people in the village, even her family, took offense at her nationalism, taking it as a denunciation of Mexico and Mexicans. Mica Comal, though, thought it a little comical and endearing.

[Taking a break from writing something else that has become boring. I’m trying to understand who Episcopalia and Mica are and why their story, whatever it is, appeals to me.]

 

Posted in Just Thinking | Leave a comment

Two Hundred Forty-Nine

Let’s say you are responsible for naming newborn triplets, all boys. Which trio of names would be more likely to cause turmoil: Mark, Michael, and Genghis or  Hephaestus, Zeus, and Genghis? Ah, your answer may rely on logic, an irrelevant characteristic in a chaotic world.

Posted in Ruminations | Leave a comment

Two Hundred Forty-Eight

Procrastination is the province of a fool, one whose face I sometimes see in the mirror.

Posted in Ruminations | 2 Comments

Two Hundred Forty-Seven

I happened upon a website dedicated to the Friends Committee on National Legislation (FCNL). The site bills itself as “A Quaker Lobby in the Public Interest.” Generally speaking, I am solidly opposed to any religious group attempting to exercise its political muscle.  But when I discovered in reading the website how closely FCNL positions align with my own, I realized I was not so adamantly against them sharing their perspectives with legislators as I have been with other religious groups. Initially, I felt like I was being hypocritical; was I not as harsh because their views are close to mine, while other religious organizations are not? No, I finally decided, my acceptance of the legitimacy of FCNL’s lobbying efforts is based on the fact that they are not selling a religious agenda; they are selling a humanitarian agenda.  There is a huge difference. Anyone, even right-wing Southern Baptists, working toward a humanitarian agenda (provided they leave the supernatural agenda at the door) should be free to share their views. Still, I feel a little hypocritical; but not enough to change my way of thinking.

Posted in Ruminations | 2 Comments

Two Hundred Forty-Six

If you watch a squirrel for an entire day, jumping from tree to tree and then spending a moment or two on the ground and scurrying up another tree, you may notice something important. The squirrel never pauses to watch a reality show. Never. Nor should anyone.

Posted in Ruminations | Leave a comment

Two Hundred Forty-Five

Labels, especially political labels, cover warts and scabs—even open wounds—like ill-fitting artificial skin that traps flesh-eating bacteria beneath it.  Yet if we apply labels like band-aids, we allow ourselves to be defined by them.

 

Posted in Ruminations | 1 Comment

Two Hundred Forty-Four

Let someone else define you and you’ll forever be a slave to another’s assessment. Define yourself and you’ll know, at least, you are authentic.

It is hard to face a world in which collective perspectives become cash, the only currency of interaction, when one’s personal perspectives are at odds with the majority. It’s lonely—painful, an agonizing battle between acceptance and adherence to that internal drive toward understanding. The pain may never pay off. But even if it doesn’t, the absence of shame is payment enough for making the hard choice.

Posted in Ruminations | 2 Comments

Getting the Message

[I think this will be my last “normal” post for awhile. I will keep my daily Ruminations going, as failing to do that would ruin the sequence. Beyond that, I’ll keep to myself for a bit. I appreciate you regular visitors, especially those who comment, either here or via email. I truly value your comments and encouragement; you define goodness. ]


The view through the windows of the speeding train mesmerized Jacob Klezmer. A massive wind farm rose on the right side of the train from thousands of acres of mottled green pasture land. Hundreds of black and white cows grazed beneath the huge grey towers, their propellers seeming to move in slow motion. Only a few cows raised their heads to glance at the train; the remainder seemed oblivious to the red and silver snake slithering along the rails at one hundred-twenty kilometers per hour.

Klezmer had spent quadruple the cost of a guaranteed seat to give himself a rare treat: a private, sound-proof viewing pod near the front of the train. He had almost the entire car to himself. Even guaranteed seating passes were expensive, so most people simply paid the base fare and fought for a standing-room-only spot near a window, hoping for an occasional breeze.

The remainder of the train was at capacity, but Jacob was among a half-dozen passengers in the first-class viewing car, only two of whom sat together in a viewing pod. Other passengers in premium seating, like him, sat in self-imposed isolation, pearls inside oysters, sliding safely through the guts of a reptile.

The passenger communication panel, complimentary in first-class accommodations, buzzed, signaling that it was operational and ready for passenger use. Klezmer punched in numbers and listened for the device to connect. Almost immediately, he heard a recording. “We’re sorry, but the person you are trying to reach is either dead or dying. If you believe you have received this recording in error, disengage and establish a new connection.”

He sat staring at the communication panel display, stunned at what he had just heard. Three more tries; three more times, the same message replayed.

Erika Clossmun couldn’t possibly have been targeted for culling, he thought. She was healthy, intelligent, and absolutely obedient to Central.

Central’s recent practice of culling, as far as Klezmer knew,  had focused on less productive members. Old people, people with resource-depleting illness, and skeptics who questioned the authority, or legitimacy, of Central’s actions commonly disappeared with only a sterile announcement in the daily Central Communique: “We announce the culling of Margaret Lamb, 89, of Elder Block 88 in New Boston. Her departure enables a new delegate to be released from the Tissue Bank and, for that, we are eternally grateful to Margaret Lamb for her donation to Central Management.”

But while it might be appropriate for eighty-nine-year-old Margaret Lamb, whose body was failing, to be culled, Klezmer thought, culling a thirty-one-year-old woman was different. Erika ran marathons, toed the Central line, and had publicly expressed hopes for the future.  Klezmer’s eyes brimmed with tears. Erika had been his friend, his lover, and his teacher. Central frowned on emotions, especially tears, but at that moment he did not care.  Anger welled inside him in a way that at once gave him confidence that he could challenge Central and paralyzed him with fear that Central might know of his allegiance to Erika.

The surveillance cameras in viewing pods, outfitted with retinal scanners, were infallible in their ability to detect and categorize passenger emotions. The one in Klezmer’s pod had already identified his anger; the moment Klezmer had dialed Erika’s number, the camera zoomed in on his eyes, feeding data to Central’s massive Langley data center, triggering a monitoring alarm at Bianca Carmello’s workstation.

Carmello clicked on the image of Klezmer sitting in his viewing pod; a pop-up window with Klezmer’s details appeared on her monitor. Thirty-eight years old; skepticism coefficient: 7.9 (subject to reclassification); productivity coefficient: 8.34; personal relationship status: four failed relationships, one potential positive relationship terminated by Central; assigned analyst: Bianca Carmello; decision-point: cull or attempt recovery.

Damn, Carmello thought, this looks so straightforward; I wonder if I’m being assessed. She hesitated for just a moment longer than acceptable performance standards called for before clicking on ‘attempt recovery.’  A monitoring alarm buzzed at the Park City, Utah workstation assigned to Shalifondra Gomez. Gomez clicked on an image of Bianca Carmello staring at her monitor in a cubicle two thousand miles away.

 

Posted in Writing | 2 Comments

Two Hundred Forty-Three

Disparate ideas churn like leaves in a whirlwind, spinning tighter and closer together until they become a cohesive thought, an intent, a plan, and, finally, an action.

Posted in Ruminations | Leave a comment