Damn and Damn and Damn Again

Posted on December 15, 2023 by John Swinburn

My optimism blossoms when my headache subsides or my other symptoms seem to improve. But pessimism returns when those improvements are short-lived or the symptoms seem to get progressively worse. Or both. The rare improvements seem to be old news. My patience is wearing extremely thin—but my options when “thin” becomes “invisible” are just the same. I am certain I could feel far worse and be much sicker, but knowing a splinter in my finger is more tolerable than a nail through my hand does not improve things.  The roller-coast of extreme weakness and attempts at recovery is more tiring than just staying weak and bed-ridden. Yesterday was a little better for part of the day. But the parts that were not better supplied reminders that of how damn intrusive this tangle of symptoms has become. I have the strength to bitch about my malady. At least there’s that. Barring a miracle, though, I cannot imagine feeling even close to “normal” by Christmas.  Shit!

About John Swinburn

"Love not what you are but what you may become."― Miguel de Cervantes
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3 Responses to Damn and Damn and Damn Again

  1. John Swinburn says:
    December 17, 2023 at 6:47 am

    CT scan tomorrow, Patty. Wish I knew how to erase my symptoms; at this point, I do not care their origin. Looking forward to eventually seeing you after your trip.

    Warren, I have, but haven’t explored it. Given your experience, it’s obviously worth looking into it. Glad to hear from you.

  2. Patty Dacus says:
    December 15, 2023 at 1:04 pm

    I am so sorry you are sick AGAIN! What is going on, my dear?! Feel better very soon. Have you had your CT scan?? Waiting to hear results of that. We are in Lucerne and it is so beautiful here. Tomorrow is our last full day then home. Hope to see you feeling better soon!! Take care.

  3. Warren says:
    December 15, 2023 at 11:15 am

    John, have you considered therapy? I have spent the last week at Encompass Health in Memphis. It has worked wonders improving my physical well-being which has in turn improved my mental state. It he two are inseparable. I have progressed from inability to walk to near normal with a walker. Highly recommend physical therapy. In my 88th year I feel very positive about the future. Warren

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