An inch of time is an inch of gold: treasure it.
Appreciate its fleeting nature;
misplaced gold is easily found,
misspent time is lost forever.

~ Loy Ching-Yuen ~


My oncologist’s office called yesterday to tell me Monday’s CT-scan revealed changes from the last one in early September. I will get a call soon to schedule a PET-scan. A PET-scan can help discover a variety of conditions, including cancer, heart disease and brain disorders. In my case, it will be used to determine whether the changes found by the CT-scan are (or may be) a recurrence of cancer. The nurse who called me said the CT-scan changes could simply be scar tissue. Given that Monday’s CT-scan was scheduled as a follow-up to a significant increase in my CEA (carcinoembryonic antigen) blood test, a “tumor marker,” I doubt the changes revealed by the CT-can were scar tissues. Time will tell. I did not expect to be rattled by the results of Monday’s CT-scan—and I shouldn’t let them rattle me—but they make me want the schedulers to hurry up and put me on the PET-scan schedule.

In spite of the news, I feel modestly better; at least my headache is not so severe. My head congestion is not quite as bad. I’m still tired, but that probably can be attributed to the fact that I’ve spent so damn much time sleeping in the past umpteen days. I would like to return to some semblance of normal today, though I have no interest in going out and about; I would rather the world come to me than vice versa.


It’s a lesson too late for the learning
Made of sand, made of sand.
In the wink of an eye my soul is turnin’
In your hand, in your hand.
Are you going away with no word of farewell
Will there be not a trace left behind?
Well, I could’ve loved you better, didn’t mean to be unkind.
You know that was the last thing on my mind.

~ Tom Paxton ~


Those lyrics from Tom Paxton’s song regularly visit me, especially when memories and regrets are in overdrive. Contemplation. Ach.

About John Swinburn

"Love not what you are but what you may become."― Miguel de Cervantes
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