Category Archives: Uncategorized

Mi novia is extending a kindness to someone who needs help this morning, so I will drive myself to visit the oncologist for today’s chemo-treatment. If I felt the need, I could ask any of several friends who have offered … Continue reading →

Suddenly, my Facebook feed is awash in commercial posts/advertisements offering (for a fee) advice and support for people with lung cancer. I suspect I recently must have opened a random post about lung cancer. That would have led Facebook‘s sophisticated … Continue reading →

Most of my life, my hands have looked like the chubby, pudgy hands of a child. Neither bones nor tendons nor veins were visible beneath their plump skin. I cannot recall precisely when the appearance of my hands began to … Continue reading →

The sounds of high winds and heavy rains confirmed that we were experiencing the effects of a powerful squall. Darkness, though, prevented us from seeing tree trunks bend and limbs twist in response. Lacking the ability to see what was … Continue reading →

Cats feign affection when it suits them—that is, when affecting affection might lead to satisfying their selfish desires. Feline affection is a strategy, not a genuine emotion. Dogs, on the other hand, tend to fall in love quickly and completely. … Continue reading →

When long-dormant memories surface unexpectedly, they sometimes reveal a personality that no longer exists in its original form. Regardless of how much time and experience have eroded those memories since they were first recorded—and subsequently erased—kernels of that abandoned personality … Continue reading →

Instead of the oncologist’s APRN, I saw the oncologist yesterday. She explained planned changes to my treatment regimen, beginning with next week’s chemo injections. The negative side effects of the drugs used thus far were largely behind the change. Once … Continue reading →

Once again, I have nothing of consequence to say. It is a shortage of intellectual propellant; a bone-dry tank missing even the smell of fuel. There have been signs the tank was running dry. Incomplete thoughts turning to whisps of … Continue reading →

No matter the trials and tribulations of living in this chaotic world, the lyrics of some songs can boost one’s mood dramatically. The chorus from a Keb’ Mo’ song, Life is Beautiful, tends to do that for me: Life is … Continue reading →

Taking a shower has become an ordeal. The aftermath of the tribulation is well worth it, but only in hindsight. If I could take 30 consecutive showers, storing 29 of them for the days ahead, I would do it. What … Continue reading →

She examines her life, making clinical observations about living so many years barely above the surface of a spoiled pool of congealed reality. Those empty years cannot be repaired. Memories will not permit her to forget all her unfortunate choices—an … Continue reading →

When a person’s desire to be creative overwhelms his artistic talents, the end-products of his imagination tend toward the dull and disturbing. Unpleasant greys and browns and awkward beiges take hold in places where bright colors could have and should … Continue reading →

Hope is the province of poker players whose options are to flee from the game at top speed or bluff until pistols take their places on the table. +++ Political Will: U.S. voters—whose political perspectives are shaped by either one … Continue reading →

My interest in television and film is declining; somewhat rapidly. Or, perhaps, it’s just the period of “chemo-fog” that surrounds me these days. I hope I start enjoying them more, because I miss that enjoyment. But I have legitimate complaints, … Continue reading →

Every scrap of paper will tell a story if you let it. The stapler, the partially-used box of incense cones, the untouched demi-tasse cup full of cold espresso, the roll of packing tape, and a half-empty cup of water are … Continue reading →

The power that once resided in those fingers has disappeared. Strength is no longer available. Weakness is not a replacement but, instead, a robust deficiency whose decay defines an empty, parallel path. Answers without questions leave behind a permanent stench … Continue reading →

A good friend speaks glowingly of the value of meditation, and I completely believe her assessment. Meditation probably would help me make progress toward achieving some of the serenity I hope to find. At least temporarily. But before I even … Continue reading →

If news stories and exposés about the influence on developing and third-world countries by developed Western  countries represent reality, some of our influences—maybe many—are shameful. An online article published by the Associated Press (AP), part of a series about aging … Continue reading →

The small portion of sky visible from where I sit is dim, but brightening with yellow-beige light.  Trickling through the still-dark leaves and needles covering most of the branches and twigs, the light makes the forest more visible by the … Continue reading →

Today was a cancer treatment day for me and, like the last one three weeks ago, it was a long one. We arrived at the cancer center at 8:05 this morning and left to drive home a few minutes before … Continue reading →

Never again, after today, will we be given the opportunity to experience, live and in-person, July 31, 2024. Photographs, videos, audio recordings, and written records are among the many ways we can try to capture and re-live this moment in … Continue reading →

Waiting to plan for the future until that future is assured is an exercise in futility. The future, whatever I might imagine it to be, has never unfolded exactly as I envisioned. I doubt I am alone in that perpetual … Continue reading →

On December 19, 2010 I bought a used 21-speed bicycle for $160, a new bike helmet, and an air pump. My vague recollection of those acquisitions pairs with only a few memories of riding that bike. How many times in … Continue reading →

Until yesterday, I questioned whether my most recent chemo treatment would cause me to lose all my hair or simply result in minor thinning. While, today, I am not absolutely certain, I would place a bet on losing it all. … Continue reading →

A grove of citrus trees, surrounded by an avocado orchard. All around the perimeter, a vineyard of mixed grapes awaits the caring hands of caretakers, who will prune the vines, cultivate and fertilize the soil, and pick the ripe grapes. … Continue reading →