If news stories and exposés about the influence on developing and third-world countries by developed Western countries represent reality, some of our influences—maybe many—are shameful. An online article published by the Associated Press (AP), part of a series about aging in the developing world, struck a chord with me. The article to which I refer addresses the impacts the demands of an aging population and other significant demographic changes are having on the culture of India. These two quotation from the article hit me hard:
In its traditions, in its religious tenets and in its laws, India has long cemented the belief that it is a child’s duty to care for his aging parents. But in a land known for revering its elderly, a secret shame has emerged: A burgeoning population of older people abandoned by their own families.
But expanding lifespans have brought ballooning caregiving pressure, a wave of urbanization has driven many young far from their home villages and a creeping Western influence has begun eroding the tradition of multigenerational living.
In my view, the ‘normal’ demographic pressures represent reason enough for the issue to be addressed with some urgency, both with the support of developed countries and through internal policies of the affected parts of the world. The Western influence points inward, though, to us. It seems more and more people in undeveloped and underdeveloped countries emulate some of our most damaging and disgraceful behaviors. That is, forsaking ingrained cultural obligations of caring for aging parents to the point of abandonment. I think that cultural obligation once was ingrained in our society, but the forces of demographic change have not been successfully addressed. Our unsuccessful and deeply cruel response has been to change attitudes and beliefs so that we can comfortably assert that children have no responsibilities for caring for their parents as they grow old.
Thinking about this issue this morning has made me angry and ashamed of our own culture that continues to change around me…and export its twisted and warped philosophies worldwide. How is it that cultural mores and attitudes have changed so much that cruelty can overcome compassion, even within familial relationships? How can we watch as our philosophical exports are embraced around the world, doing so much brutal and callous damage? I have many ideas about how our society might begin to reverse this moral decline, but every one of those ideas would require some fundamental changes in attitudes and beliefs, triggered by charismatic leadership and adopted by willing supporters. Sociology education, which just occurred to me could become a universal moral compass for cultures globally, might be a place to start. I’ll have to think about that some more; the obstacles to every solution are just as culturally ingrained as the problems.
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My most recent chemo treatment—about nine hours sitting in a treatment chair having liquids dripped into me through the chemo port implanted in my chest—took place this past Thursday. I hope the addition of yet another chemical delight to my body, post-treatment, will prevent some of the after-effects I experienced last time, three weeks ago. We’ll see. A little less than three full days after the previous treatment, every joint and bone and tendon in my body delivered strong pain impulses to my brain. It took several days for that to stop.
My relationship with my body has changed. I used to consider it as a servant who should obey, function, give pleasure. In sickness, you realise that you are not the boss. It is the other way around.
~ Federico Fellini ~
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I read an obituary/article this morning about NPR correspondent Ina Jaffe’s death (last Thursday) from metastatic breast cancer. I always found value in listening to her reports and reading her articles online. Her focus on care for the aging paralleled an interest of mine; her reputation for accuracy in reporting led me (accurately, I think) to believe what she wrote was true. Her early decision to keep her cancer diagnosis secret (for about two years) made me wonder why a person would withhold that powerful reality from others? When I was diagnosed with lung cancer in the third quarter of 2018, I did not keep it secret; not in the least. It was not that I wanted everyone to know; it was more a matter of avoiding the stress of keeping such a momentous matter a secret. With the recurrence, diagnosed last December, I followed the same path. I did not widely announce my diagnosis to everyone I could think of, but I did mention it here on my blog and on Facebook, I think, and I told friends. Everyone, I suspect, has their own way of coping with something as emotional as a cancer diagnosis. Ina Jaffe’s way was different from mine. But after she announced it, I think she used its effects on her to change the way she interacted with people about health-related subjects. I have not given much thought to how (or whether) my diagnosis caused any difference in how I interact with people. I wonder whether anyone else noticed any changes in my behavior/personality/demeanor?
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Confrontation can be an unpleasant undertaking, but the ultimate outcome can be the elimination of strain, discomfort, and constant stress. The trick, of course, is to be able to successfully predict whether confrontation will yield those positive results or trigger a hellish escalation of distrust, fear, rage, and an insatiable lust for revenge.
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Welcome to Saturday, one of my favorite seven days of the week.
