Author Archives: John Swinburn

Living at the end of a cul-de-sac in a mixed hardwood and pine forest satisfies my craving for solitude. But when that craving has been fully met for an extended period, I sometimes long for human interaction. That yearning for … Continue reading →

The planned half-hour visit at the oncology center this afternoon is being extended to 2 hours +/-. More fluids and magnesium and something to minimize the joint and muscle pain. Chemo apparently impacts patients in different ways, so every visit … Continue reading →

What should occupy one’s mind at any given moment? The answer, regardless of what it is, consists of a judgment. What “should” happen now? What “should” happen next? Depending on my mood, my response might begin by defining “should.” must; … Continue reading →

The aches and pains and upset stomach are lingering far too long. But they could last even longer. I read answers to this question posed on an American Cancer Society website, “How long does it take for Taxol side effects … Continue reading →

A quick look at the websites of the New York Times, NPR, Associated Press, etc., etc. has left me thoroughly unimpressed with this morning’s news. And Facebook disappoints me, as usual. So does CNN. And damn near everything else delivered … Continue reading →

A short while ago, mi novia persuaded me to cancel this morning’s scheduled appointment for my car’s maintenance, insisting I should not be driving in my condition. Though my joint pain and body aches are not as bad as they … Continue reading →

The side effects of the latest round of chemo treatments (including taxol) took two days to hit me. And when they hit, they hit quite hard. By mid-afternoon on Saturday, my knees started to ache; a couple of hours later, … Continue reading →

Starting over. The thought of beginning a new chapter in one’s life prompts feelings of both excitement and fear. The idea simultaneously is inviting and daunting. But starting over is more than beginning a new chapter. Starting over erases old … Continue reading →

I hoped for a shorter-than-advertised session with the oncologist yesterday. Hope is wasted energy. We arrived at 8:45 a.m. We left the oncology center at 5:20 p.m. I know little more now than I did when I arrived. Apparently, though, … Continue reading →

Today will be a long one at the oncology center. My patient portal indicates I will be there for five-and-a-half hours; my hope is that it will not take that long. But the Taxol (brand name for Paclitaxel) infusion alone, … Continue reading →

Apathy once was of great concern to almost everyone. But nobody cares anymore. That’s just one more deeply-fatigued manipulation of a time-worn play on words. Uniqueness in creativity becomes harder to achieve with every new-born baby. Babies are not simply … Continue reading →

I do not hear the buzzing or ringing or pounding in my ears. Instead, I feel them inside me; in my head, in my chest, in my legs, everywhere. They can be loud, but not loud in the traditional aural … Continue reading →

The morning hours are mine, alone, today. Yet the sense I am in control—that I have power over my direction—still eludes me. Intrusive thoughts, tearing through my brain like a runaway locomotive, twist hard steel rails into thin, flaccid fibers. … Continue reading →

If Brit-Box is a model of experience in England, a number of villages and significant areas of the English countryside are awash in murder. And, if Netflix reflects the legislative landscape throughout Scandinavia, that part of the world seethes with … Continue reading →

Some people are natural conversationalists. Some of us are not. Those of us who are not sometimes are labeled timid, quiet, reserved, dim-witted, private…the list goes on. Sometimes, the labels are radically different: pounce-ready, silently seething, brilliantly-murderous, pre-explosive, drenched in … Continue reading →

History gives us a preview—a warning—of the future that awaits us if we ignore the lessons of experience. When we are the targets of that cautionary advice, we ignore it at our peril. Our disregard invites the repetition of past … Continue reading →

According to a couple of demographers (Toshiko Kaneda and Carl Haub), who updated an earlier estimate in 2022, 109 billion of people have lived and died since 190,000 BCE. Counting the additional people alive as of their updated 2022 estimate, … Continue reading →

My good fortune is almost boundless, especially compared to the circumstances confronting million and millions of my fellow Earthlings. But, still, I complain about the difficulties I face. With all those difficulties, I should not have to acknowledge the bounties … Continue reading →

Half of the year disappeared at a speed even faster than Time. If I were to try to be cute, I would say it was more like Time Squared. But I’m not being cute. This is profoundly serious stuff. Male … Continue reading →

Sometimes, restraining the tendency to ascribe human emotions to Mother Nature is hard—almost impossible. Acres of huge trees, each massive piece of timber weighing thousands of pounds, slammed to the ground by tornadic winds. Streams, transformed by endless rainfall into … Continue reading →

Time has a sound—like a whispered hiss; its volume so low only Time itself can hear it. In fact, no other sound has volume so low. Because Time is the perpetual companion of the Universe, situations in which sound is … Continue reading →

Today, June 28, is a day of reflection for me. In one sense, it is a normal day—a day like any other. But in an another way the day has deep personal significance. This day impels me to think deeply, … Continue reading →

Imagine watching an entire video clip, which normally would take ten minutes, in just one minute. But, instead of seeing blurred images race by at ten times actual speed, imagine that the entire video appears to take place in real-time—yet … Continue reading →

Even when people are found guilty of a heinous crime and subsequently and irreversibly  sentenced to death, they tend to hold out hope that something—the State, the Universe, God, anything—will intervene to save them. People diagnosed with an incurable, terminal … Continue reading →

What if… Sounds had flavor? Every color had a unique odor? Vision was always accompanied by a noise exclusive to the sight being seen? Would our experience of life be radically different from today’s “normal?” Or would those variations from … Continue reading →