Unwind

When I write fiction, I do not create characters. As they develop, they reveal who I am. They expose me at my core. Easily wounded, quick tempered, deeply flawed, empathetic, brutally uncaring, timid, quiet, loud, terminally sad, spontaneously silly, irresponsible, absolutely reliable, undependable, driven by fear, brave beyond comprehension. And more. In other words, awash in incongruities. I did not realize my characters were expressions of elements of my personality until quite recently. One or two people had suggested as much to me, but I gave the idea no credence. Until lately. When, for some reason, the legitimacy of the suggestion became clear. Everything about me is incongruous. Though it took time, my characters revealed that truth to me.

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For two days running, I have allowed my blood glucose numbers to spike into unwelcome territory. A quick trip to Crystal Bridges Museum of American Art will involve meals “out,” so controlling diet is a bit more of a challenge than at home (where I have recently failed miserably). I suppose I can tolerate two or three more days with elevated numbers. But, then, another numerous days on another trip. I must figure out how to discipline myself to exercise restraint in the presence of limitless appealing foods, everywhere I look.

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We have been watching The Good Fight. I enjoyed the series immensely when it was originally broadcast, though I am not sure whether I saw it to the end. Watching it again is not difficult or boring; it’s just as good the second time around. And that’s all I have to say about that.

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I sometimes see people engaging in customs common in other countries but not so common here. “Air kissing” one another on both cheeks, for instance. In the interests of learning a little more about kissing customs, I skimmed a Condé Nast Traveler online article. If I was hoping for iron-clad, specific “rules,” I was mistaken. And I was. Though I wasn’t. Not really. Every opportunity to learn something new is an opportunity to be grateful for it. If I kiss you on the neck, by the way, I probably find you irresistibly, dangerously, attractive. Seriously, the customs of kissing seem to be a little fluid. Or, perhaps, it’s just my reading of the article. I would probably shy away from initiating a kiss when I meet someone new. I’ve avoided it this long and I am confident I can avoid it still.

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I slept in this morning. Until 6:30. That happens sometimes. I do not like it, but it occurs. I could control it, but I am not as disciplined as I would like. So I slip from time to time. If I’m going to get to church this morning, I better start to unwind and unwrap.

About John Swinburn

"Love not what you are but what you may become."― Miguel de Cervantes
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