Years ago, long after I graduated from college and even after I spent time pursuing and then abandoning a graduate degree, I seriously considered going to law school. There were many reasons. First and foremost, I found law extremely interesting; it presented an opportunity to participate in the social order I had learned to appreciate while achieving my degree in sociology. It seemed to me to offer an opportunity to think for a living; attorneys, as I saw it, occupied the enviable position of spending their lives exercising their minds. I liked that. I envied that. I wanted that.
Unfortunately for my desires, law school was expensive and time-consuming. And I was money-poor and time-poor and afraid of failing. So I opted not to explore what appealed to me; I accepted the impossibility of the wish, though I never really abandoned it.
It wasn’t a hard decision. Or, I should say, it wasn’t a decision. It was default. Such is life.
Tonight, I watched The Good Wife on television. I realize, full-well, that it’s a television series. It’s not reality, not even close. But it amplifies bits and pieces of reality that recalled for me the wishes and dreams I abandoned so long ago. I don’t know whether I made the right choice or not. I could have done some good. Or, like Ted Cruz and his psychotic associates, I could have done some serious harm. I’d like to think I am a better person than that.
In the context of “the law,” I’ll never know.