Scattered Thoughts

Today and tomorrow should be delightful, in terms of temperature—in the mid to upper seventies. But Sunday the high barely will reach into the sixties. I suppose deviations in either direction in temperature and other weather-related matters help us appreciate the complexity—the simplicity, too— and the beauty of climate.


The scales of reckoning with mortality are never evenly weighted, alas, and thus it is on the shoulders of the living that the burden of justice must continue to rest.

~Wole Soyinka ~


I can barely keep my eyes open. Occasionally, when I pause between sentences or between paragraphs, I fall asleep. Only when my 20 second nap ends do I realize that my fingers have been resting on the keyboard, filling my computer screen with line after line after line of repeated letters or figures…like this:


But the 20 second nap obviously was not enough. I sleep again, first taking care to remove my fingers from the keyboard. Yet somehow they find their way back, where they fall asleep on letters suitable for exponential replication. Is that a “thing?” Does exponential replication actually mean something, or did I just make it up?


Until recently, I rarely gave much thought to prescription medications’ effects on my body. I just took the pills, etc. as directed by doctors and their professional colleagues. For a variety of reasons, though, I lately have been trying to determine the extent to which pharmaceutical interventions impact my body.  Though my observations are quite rudimentary—and are not adequately “controlled” to permit absolute confidence in determinations of causation—they offer clues about what happens to my body when I start taking prescriptions and what happens when I stop. Medications are not alone in causing changes in the way one’s body performs various of its functions. Foods, too, impact the body’s functions; I have monitored foods’ effects on me, too, along with pills and such.

My tendency toward elevated blood pressure has been under control for quite some time with two prescription drugs. But weight loss and changes in diet apparently resulted in the amplification of the effects of those drugs; instead of high blood pressure, I had very low blood pressure. Eliminating those prescriptions eliminated the problem of low blood pressure; but in the absence of the prescriptions’ control mechanisms, my blood pressure has risen (as of this morning) beyond the “ideal” range. So, in accordance with doctors’ instructions, I will take one of the blood pressure medications, though at a much-reduced dosage.

Various other recent experiences have illustrated the effects of starting or stopping other prescription medications. But the outcome of starting or stopping prescriptions does not illustrate the how; only the what. As I contemplate my consumption of pharmaceuticals, I wonder just how the drugs result in lower blood pressure and how, following their absence, blood pressure begins to spike. And I wonder whether the apparent “cure” afforded by some prescriptions might come at an unknown cost? For example, might a drug that slows the heart rate have the side-effect of minimizing the amount of blood-borne oxygen that keeps the lungs healthy? Though I am curious about such matters, I am not sufficiently intrigued to return, happily, to crowded civilization, where the answers may await.


Another blood-letting this morning; a follow-up to enable my doctor’s APN to see the changes, or lack thereof, in my blood chemistry. I have no interest in the blood-letting, but it is an obligation, more or less. Ostensibly, the tests serve my own self-interest. So, I shall continue to follow the doctors’ and nurses’ orders. Until such time as I decide to ignore them.


With some good fortune, today I will find a scanning device to make PDFs of about 20 pages worth of “stuff” the lawyers require  who will (I hope) address a change in title for some Texas properties.


My thoughts, again, are scattered. I cannot focus, at least not for long, on anything, especially matters that matter. To hell with this. I need more sleep. There’s no doubt. The doubt comes in, though, when the question is “will I get more sleep?” The answer is impossible to know until after the fact.

About John Swinburn

"Love not what you are but what you may become."― Miguel de Cervantes
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