A brilliant blue bolt of lightning preceded the explosive crack of thunder by a fraction of a second. Then, nothing. No deep, guttural sounds rolling across the landscape. No additional flashes of light. For a moment, I thought the sight and sound might not have been lightning and thunder at all but, instead, a nearby power transformer blowing up. But there was no evidence of even a momentary power loss. A few moments later I heard thunder, again, and through the trees saw a flash of blue light. Weather. The early morning sky darkened. Rain began to fall. The sound of water flowing through the rain gutters grew louder and louder. Larger raindrops fell. The pauses I sensed between them striking the roof got shorter. More thunder; growling and echoing in the distance. I enjoy distinctly aggressive weather; but I prefer to stay home to listen and watch it. Today, I have to drive quite a bit. This morning, in just a few minutes, I’m off to see the oncologist; tests, treatment, and a “check-in.” I hope to be told my ongoing fatigue/constant need for excessive sleep soon will fade. If not, I may invest in comfortable “house clothes” that do not appear too casual—could be mistaken for “business casual”—and could be worn while I nap.


I feel rushed. I much prefer to engage with the day in a leisurely fashion. No deadlines, no appointments, no pressing obligations that could cause stress—for me or anyone else—if I were to ignore them. Selfish and demanding, perhaps, but genuinely freeing. Today, though, that is not to be. A church board meeting follows immediately after my visit with the doctor. And, this evening, a “world tour of wines” dinner. That will be enjoyable, of course, but sometimes even pleasant experiences tend to infringe on one’s exemption from expectations.


Time to put this post to bed and drive out into the pouring rain.

About John Swinburn

"Love not what you are but what you may become."― Miguel de Cervantes
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