Driftless Mind Wandering

Five hours of cardiac testing this morning. A nuclear medicine Myocardial Perfusion (MIBI) exam and other stress echo test(s) will assess the state of my heart. I have undergone such a series of tests in the past; many, many years past, while still living in Dallas and still working at my management company. I suppose it’s time to evaluate the stability or decline of my cardiac health. I would like to think my heart is pumping as intended; I imagine I will get the results of the measurements within the next several days. Medical care tends to take over one’s time. I can’t very well refuse it, though, unless I were to decide the results—whatever they are—do not matter. I cannot decide that. There’s too much riding on the outcome of the tests. Time will tell.


I need more sleep. Far more sleep than I’ve ever needed in the past. An additional three to six hours of sleep, beyond my rather lengthy nighttime sleep. Ach! As much as I find the need for more sleep to be annoying, getting in bed during the day has become enjoyable. Refreshing. Pleasant. I think I could sleep around the clock if I could hide the fact from the rest of the world.


The sound of my heart pumping is overwhelming. That sound can keep me awake when I want nothing more than to sleep. Tinnitus. I’ve never been formally diagnosed with the malady, but I’m reasonably sure that’s what causes the disturbing noise. Maybe I’ll ask the technicians today about the problem; they will look at one another knowingly. Unspoken, but obvious behind those knowing looks, will be this thought: “Why does this geezer think nuclear medicine techs should be able to answer questions about tinnitus?” I will respond, in a sharp and accusatory voice: “I can hear what you’re thinking! How dare you label me a geezer?!”

About John Swinburn

"Love not what you are but what you may become."― Miguel de Cervantes
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