Author Archives: John Swinburn

About John Swinburn

"Love not what you are but what you may become."― Miguel de Cervantes

Thinking without a Net

The time has somehow slipped by, unnoticed. I’ve already written most of today’s post…in just the last two hours. And I’ve had my espresso and taken a few pills and otherwise paid homage to modern medicine. I am now ready … Continue reading

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Sanity is My Stigma…What is Yours?

The desire for solitude competes with the need for company or companionship. Fulfilling one has the effect of making the other unavailable or otherwise impossible to obtain. Those conflicting needs/wants make as much sense as wishing for the temperature to … Continue reading

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Wandering Through the Timeline

The memory of psychological pain lasts, for me,  far longer than does the recollection of physical agony. Now, as I write this, I wonder “whether psychological” is the right word. Perhaps I should have used “mental,” instead? If the difference … Continue reading

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Explorationism

I feel little else. Just the naked pursuit of purity. If only the chase could be paused for a while longer, I might become the predator instead of the prey. I realize, of course, the words I place on the … Continue reading

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Power Vacuum

I stumble on dust. I trip over pieces of thread. Empty air, too thick and steep to overcome, behaves like a mountain of granite blocking my way. The immeasurable chasm between here and there refuses to be bridged. Whether I … Continue reading

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Glass

I heard myself moaning during the night, but I did not realize until much later I was the one making the sounds. Until I determined I had been responsible for the noise, I felt both pity and scorn for the … Continue reading

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Brain Bumps

I wonder whether a recent string of confusing absent-mindedness…or whatever it is…is just coincidental or is related to my condition and/or the treatments for it. On one hand, I really want to know, but on the other I do not … Continue reading

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Earnestly Aching

Try as I might, I cannot think deeply this morning. My ability to think philosophically seems to be inoperable at this moment. Actually, that is not quite true—I purposely avoid introspective exploration at this instant because I sense it would … Continue reading

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Down Down Down

I wrote the paragraphs below this one shortly after I awoke this morning, when I felt more energetic, more hopeful, and more powerful than I feel now. Reality settles over me like low-lying fog hovering above a river in the … Continue reading

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Struggles with Facts and Philosophies

Nothing matters. Everything is important. Nothing is important. Everything matters. Between the those perspectives—seldom together in the same place at the same time—every question can be honestly answered. Because they are so rarely paired, with neither taking precedence over the … Continue reading

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Thunder and Silk

Thunder and silk seem, to me, the perfect pair. But just for a fraction of a snippet of a tiny piece of a miniscule moment. And, then, it’s all back to lightning and milk. +++ Public transportation—whether through mass transit … Continue reading

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Strange Thoughts Slide Through

Something woke me. So here I am. Wondering what to do and why. There are at least two sides to me—probably many more. But the two most distinct are the loner and the poseur; the guy who keeps to himself … Continue reading

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Bescuttled

The “right” combinations of managing both production and consumption could solve many—perhaps most—of the nagging problems facing humankind and every other species on the planet. In both cases, the underlying challenge is the management of human behaviors. I am convinced … Continue reading

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First Person Problems

After waking for an hour this morning at 4, I returned to bed for awhile at 5; waking almost 3-1⁄2 hours later, just an hour before my appointment at the oncology lab. While getting my IV fluids and a couple … Continue reading

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Filling Time

The costs associated with obtaining news and entertainment that are both informative and interesting can be nothing short of prohibitive. But if they were prohibitive, the money would not be spent. Let’s just say, then, the costs are high. The … Continue reading

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Art, War, and Medical Matters

Viewing or hearing or touching pieces of art, whether painting, sculpture, writing, and other outcomes of the creative process, can unleash insightful contemplation. Sometimes, musical lyrics or tunes  can summon emotional reactions that can prompt us to ask: why we … Continue reading

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Thought, Vision, and Sustenance

Waking in darkness, which is how I want to wake each morning (and how one should wake each day), allows me to collect the energy I saved during sleep. Finally, with the return to Daylight Saving Time, I may be … Continue reading

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Thought-Frenzy

Tonight’s the night to Spring forward. In yet another attempt to control Nature’s affects on us, we pretend to control time. Every Spring and Fall, we artificially lose an hour or gain an hour in defiance of the natural order. … Continue reading

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Disentanglement

Unexpected circumstances or communications can derail one’s mood, redirecting it for better or worse. Or, in some cases, both. For example, I was feeling positive, looking forward to a regularly scheduled wine dinner with friends tonight, followed by an afternoon … Continue reading

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Metamorphosis, Too

Flames can be beautiful, but they can transform beauty into hideous ash, as well. Governments can replace chaos with structure, but they also can convert structure into compartments;  compartments into cubicles; cubicles into cells; and cells into cages. Nature can … Continue reading

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Brain-Spurs

It’s not the actions…we do not fear the actions; their consequences create the fear. The potential outcome of the actions cause the distress. That is, our anticipation of what might follow the action, if it is taken, is what disturbs … Continue reading

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Frozen Light

I was confronted with an assertion I found troubling, but possible; likely, in fact. The purpose of wakefulness is to provide fodder for our dreams. Reality exists only in unconsciousness. Sleep is actuality. Our imagination takes us to the only … Continue reading

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Curiosity and Calamity

Long ago, I stopped assigning subject categories to my blog posts. I now wish I had not quit doing that, because I can no longer sort posts by subjects. The ability to collect posts according to topics/subjects was useful when … Continue reading

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Aggression Unmasked

What a terrible era in which the idiots govern the blind. ~ William Shakespeare ~ Can I withdraw from an ugly world, a world outfitted with animosity and cruelty, hidden behind a mask of fictitious empathy? Can a refusal to … Continue reading

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Tinnitus

Crickets making artificial cricket noise. Crickets all around me. Crickets in the walls. Crickets in the ceiling. Crickets beneath my feet. Crickets inside my head. Crickets that seem deaf to stern warnings. Crickets unwilling to refrain from making the sounds … Continue reading

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