Author Archives: John Swinburn

No matter how tightly I close my eyes, the monochromatic images remain—as if they are permanently etched on polished spheres that spin at high speed inside my eyelids. The dark forest green figures—thousands of distinct, unique items—fill my entire field … Continue reading →

Until yesterday, I knew very little about Charlie Kirk. I had heard about him or read his name online, but my exposure to him was limited to reading a few quotations attributed to him. I found offensive his condemnation of … Continue reading →

I’ll start by acknowledging that my writing frequently (and intentionally) merges reality with fiction. People have told me they do not know whether, when they begin to read them, my blog posts are factual, fictional, or a combination thereof. But, … Continue reading →

I hope somewhere in this empty universe, something capable of turning me inside-out will become apparent to me. Something that has clawed its way deeper and deeper into a protective cavern. But, unless I dig deeper—scratch harder—and scrape with every … Continue reading →

Since starting to write this morning’s blog, I have bounded from mood to mood. And idea to idea—most, fortunately, did not find their way to this post. I have bounced between emotions and passions. And stumbled between rage and love. … Continue reading →

I have plumbed the depths of anger, only to discover its base is always beyond reach. Anger refused to be the tool I dreamed it could be. Rage, too, fell short of my expectations. There must be something else that … Continue reading →

Yesterday’s visit to the pulmonologist was a precursor to a bronchoscopy, scheduled for next Wednesday. The appointment for the bronchoscopy procedure conflicts with my next chemotherapy treatment. So, today I will attempt to reschedule the chemotherapy. Ideally, I would be … Continue reading →

I remember very little of my early childhood, when I was known as Sherlock Shakespeare. But my few memories from that brief period of my childhood are crystal clear. Ours was the first family in our tiny English village to … Continue reading →

Another busy day awaits—oncological blood-letting, Fall seasonal maintenance of the fireplace and propane heating system, and a long-delayed haircut. Tomorrow will bring still more attention to my healthcare and to periodic household upkeep and maintenance. To start this day off … Continue reading →

My frustration grows when my ideas feel sticky and incomplete. Frustration turns to panic when my lungs fill with a viscous fluid mix of jagged grains of sand and warm creosote. No matter what I do in my attempt to … Continue reading →

Neither the sun nor the moon looks on us with compassion. Their emotionless stares seem to bathe us in indifference. On occasion, though, their fierce glares far surpass apathy, offering evidence of unrestrained animosity—the kind of hatred ignited by betrayal. … Continue reading →

The incredible majesty of the universe—where the simplest of the simple is far and away the most complex and where the most intricate is the the purest and simplest—may be the single most compelling argument that humankind is incapable of … Continue reading →

If my level of interest was high enough, I might explore the reasons why so many pharmaceuticals are called by so many names. But I would say my level of interest ranges between moderate and moderately high, with occasional surges … Continue reading →

Years ago, on one of our periodic road trips, my late wife and I drove west from Chicago. I do not recall with certainty whether we had a particular destination in mind or whether it was, like so many of … Continue reading →

Yesterday was full of medical procedures and appointments. It began with a PET-scan and blood draws before noon, followed by a review session with the radiologist, and finished with a visit with my oncologist, who reviewed the PET-scan results with … Continue reading →

Fiction is merely a preview of upcoming facts—a look ahead to see the world in the absence of pressures and constraints on its path along the way to get there. Tomorrow is today—but dressed in bright colors and fine jewelry. … Continue reading →

My chemo session on Wednesday apparently has had/is having some of the old stand-by side-effects I recall from earlier treatments; among them, fatigue, sleeping late, periodic stabbing pains, etc. But the analgesics seem to work reasonably well, most of the … Continue reading →

What would the experience be like? Traveling to another country, making contact with members of fierce criminal gangs, and launching a new career as a brutal and dangerously violent money-hungry beast? I suspect it might be quite different for me … Continue reading →

I woke late (after 6:30) this morning, for the second consecutive day. That kind of unintentional adjustment to my morning routine seems to compress my day—as if time is snatched away from me as an unrecoverable, permanent loss. There is … Continue reading →

A report published in 1972 (Limits to Growth) suggested a highly likely scenario in which, by 2040, a precipitous and uncontrollable global decrease in population and industrial capacity will take place…unless significant alterations are made in resource utilization and environmental … Continue reading →

If the pain accompanying a physical malady had a unique sonic signature, deaf doctors might be at a distinct disadvantage in diagnosing the ailment. How odd it must be to listen to a doctor—with unimpaired hearing—say, “I can hear your … Continue reading →

I am, again, enlisting the calming aroma of patchouli incense and the mesmerizing sound of “spa” music in my attempts to engage peacefully with the day. These are not the weapons of war, nor the instruments of surrender. They are … Continue reading →

Sitting in front of a blank computer monitor, waiting to be struck by a bolt of enlightenment, leaves me both empty and fulfilled. I am neither dead nor alive until that bolt of enlightenment bathes me and my state of … Continue reading →

Just when I was about ready to finish this morning’s blog post, I lit a cone of incense, something I have not done in quite some time. Mi novia mentioned that noticeable pause in what used to be my common … Continue reading →

Safety is a concept. A wish or dream or desire or promise or expectation or…who knows just what it is?  One thing it is not, though, is concrete…no mass and no weight, it takes up no space. It is neither … Continue reading →