And Again

Hope is a wish unassisted by action. Hope sometimes is the only crutch, though, that will allow a person to stand or even to sit upright. Wishes supported by action are more effective than hope, but only if the actions inspire confidence. When they do not, hope may be the only reasonable alternative. Hopelessness is not a chosen state of mind; it follows on naturally when hope is dashed by the onslaught of reality. It also is known by other names: acceptance or resignation.

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Once again, the chemotherapy process ran to five hours yesterday, two hours longer than scheduled; nothing having to do with my treatment, just the result of a very crowded clinic, some of whose patients require more time than others. I am comfortable with that reality. I’ve come to expect longer visits than the schedule indicates; I do not have anywhere else I have to go or anything else I have to do. Today, I return to the closer, temporary, clinic for my regular post-treatment injection, which is intended to minimize the risk of infections associated with the chemotherapy.

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We watched some of last night’s finale of the Democratic National Convention (mi novia watched more than I). Kamala Harris is a good speaker, in my opinion, and her message was powerful. I wish the other Democrat speakers would not resort to tit-for-tat attacks on their opponents.  Mentions of Trump’s and Vance’s attacks on them (and others) are ripe for being called out, but resorting to the T&V tactics is beneath them—and such reactions will have no positive impact on even “iffy” supporters of the orange blight. [It’s okay for me to bad-mouth the bastards (though I know I should not)…I’m not running for president.]

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Perhaps it’s the anticipation of the chemo after-effects that’s robbing me of even a shred of creativity this morning. It’s not the effects themselves; they haven’t begun yet. I want to write some fiction, but I know I quickly will reach a point at which I do not feel like continuing; just another unfinished story. So, lately I avoid adding to the hundreds of incomplete tales I’ve begun over the years. Maybe, though, I will before long take some time to revisit some of the more promising unfinished pieces. Time will tell.