2900 and Then Some

I’m typing post number 2,900 and you’re reading the very same one. Just 100 more and I’ll have published 3000 posts here. Add 2,100 more posts and I’ll have reached 5,000. You can do the math. Keep adding large round numbers and, eventually, you’ll reach 10,000. Multiply that number by 10 and the magic number, 100,000 will have been reached. But that’s putting the cart before the horse, isn’t it? I mean, as of today, I’m 97,100 away from achieving magic. Math. It’s a wonderful thing.

***

I am sore today. My muscles and joints ache, thanks to the fact that I spent the day yesterday sanding the deck (but only for a while) and, then, removing the “steps” from the deck. The steps comprise rotted and rotting two by six boards, each sixteen feet long. They were (and some still are) affixed to an underlying structure with long, square recess heads (also called Robertson heads). The heads of virtually all the screws were (are) buried under layers of paint. Most were further concealed by wood fibers that had filled in the space on top of the heads. And the vast majority were either rusted through in the thread length. Or the head was so badly rusted that the square recess dissolved into a round hole when I attempted to remove the screw from the wood. I spent almost the entire day removing just two sixteen foot boards. I still have one to go, plus the structure upon which the two by sixes sat. And then some. Plus, many more deck boards must be removed. I’m trying to get someone to either help me or, better yet, do the work for me. We’ll see. I am unsuited to this work. Five years ago, I would have been better-suited. But not today. Ach!

***

My wife prepared ahi tuna burgers for dinner last night. No buns, just the burgers. We had liked them at some point in the past. And they were not bad last night. Just rather bland.  You’ll notice the photo to the left is not an ahi tuna burger. It is a poached egg sitting atop a mass of sauteed mushrooms and cherry tomatoes. The green bits are chives from our limited herb garden. The strips that look like shredded parmesan are, in fact, shredded parmesan. I took the photo yesterday morning after I prepared breakfast. Yes, that’s yesterday’s breakfast. I’m not really sure what a photo of yesterday’s breakfast has to do with last night’s ahi tuna burgers, but it seemed appropriate to post it alongside the tuna conversation.

***

I will visit my dental hygienist around midday today. She will clean my teeth and will chastise me for failing to spend four to six hours every day on tooth and gum care. If I spent as much time and energy on my teeth and gums as she would like me to do, my teeth would be sparkling ivory sabers protruding from muscular gums so strong and powerful I could chew razor blades and still do no damage to my mouth.

The woman probably will not mention the football-field-wide diastema between the two top front teeth. I’ve wondered, from time to time, how she would respond if I told her I would like to speak to the dentist about addressing the diaspora between my teeth. “You mean diastema?” She might say that. Or she might simply let it go and leave the room to go tell the dentist. I would then hear loud, unrestrained laughter  from a nearby office. And the dentist and the hygienist would, from that point forward, consider me educationally challenged.

That’s it for now. I have fiction on my mind, but it’s not suitable for general audiences. I’ll have to clean it up before I post it here.

About John Swinburn

"Love not what you are but what you may become."― Miguel de Cervantes
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