If Christians and Muslims and Jews and Atheists and all the other people who identify with descriptive terms used to categorize religious beliefs (or the lack thereof) were serious about peace on earth, that seemingly impossible dream would be easy to achieve. Religious texts have long since outlined behaviors that would accomplish that aim; plenty of secular writings have done the same. The keys, of course, are tolerance and flexibility. The countervailing obstacles, hidden in full view, assert themselves through intolerance and inflexibility: two vital components of control and power. Darkness conceals illuminated pathways. Light struggles to escape into brilliantly-lit caverns. These are not places; they are fierce ideas that thrive in the right circumstances or starve when kept in cages.
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My interest in television programs, films, documentaries, etc. has declined lately. The good stuff requires me to think in order to fully grasp the messages triggered by the content. Much of the rest is either dull and empty or unnecessarily violent, raw, and predictable. My tendency to want to sleep around the clock interferes with the entertainment value of everything I watch. Or try to watch. My poor vision makes watching television a demanding effort. I’ve essentially given up on reading for that reason, as well. Though I somehow manage to wade through some of what claims to be news. I am not quite sure why I spend my time writing about such stuff as this. I might be far happier if I would just copy and paste one of dozens—or hundreds—of updates I’ve already posted here. Less work, and it would require less time and energy wasted on replicating experiences on which I’ve already wasted plenty of time and energy.
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I tolerate the side-effects of chemotherapy, but I would prefer my unpleasant reactions to be more appealing or, at least, less disagreeable. Actually, I’ve grown rather fond of my tendency to sleep so easily and for such long periods. Sleeping lessens the time available to me to experience the discomfort of constipation, the pain of…whatever causes the pain…the annoying dry-heave expressions of nausea, and the various other physical and emotional attacks on my sense of well-being. I think I would enjoy the ability to sleep, uninterrupted, for months on end, provided my lengthy naps would not end in fits of ravenous hunger. That’s not been a problem so far, though, as food remains unappealing, in general. I had a chemo session last Friday, with Navelbine and Gemzar. The two together, I think, pack quite a punch, making me sleep all day and all night and otherwise reminding me of their potential side-effects; none of them serious so far, but enough to make me distinctively conscious that the medications play havoc with my ability to live a “normal” life, whatever that may be. I go back in today for my routine post-chemo injection and, possibly, to learn when my next visit with the oncologist is scheduled.
