The Kittens

Three kittens walked slowly but deliberately through a pasture filled with angry, menacing dogs. A Doberman Pinscher raced across the field, snarling and growling and baring its teeth, stopping only inches from the kittens. The kittens walked on, unperturbed by the beast’s fearsome display. A German Shepherd was next, its deep, concussive barks sending shock waves through the air. Still, the kittens walked on, showing no sign of fear. When a Rottweiler bounded across the pasture, howling and showing its fangs, the felines stared at the massive creature as he approached, but did not deviate from their purposeful path across the meadow. The dogs, perplexed by the unwavering fearlessness and aloofness of the kittens, sat in silence as the cats traversed the field. Suddenly, a mouse raced across the grass directly in front of the kittens, where it stopped and looked at them, smiling the way mice sometimes do. The kittens exploded in a killing frenzy, ripping the tiny rodent into a thousand pieces, a red mist of its blood filling the air as its attackers devoured its flesh. The moral to this story, if there is one, is this: no good can come from smiling at calm kittens while they’re out for a walk.