The early morning sky remains dim and sleepy, waking from a long night. Steamy fog rises from the surface of a pond, blurring the images of egrets and herons standing in the water, just a few feet from shore. The air is slightly cool but damp, a bit sticky with rising humidity. Except for an occasional distant bird call, morning’s deafening silence commands the ears’ full attention. The serenity accompanying this experience will be brief. Soon, sunlight will brighten the soft greys of morning light and chase the chill from the air. Sounds will fill the empty space in the air. Silence will recede, just a recent memory, as birds chatter, insects buzz, and wind rustles through reeds and grasses. As the day ages, prevailing calm shatters and slips away, replaced by intrusive noises and the savage chaos of what we charitably call “normal.” I try to remember the calm I experienced, but it slides irretrievably into the vagueness of history. The hazy morning, the fog, the regal water fowl, the impressive silence…they reside in a place that no longer exists except in a fading recollection.
And the heart that is soonest awake to the flowers is always the first to be touch’d by the thorns.
~ Thomas Moore ~
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People frequently equate the term “soulmate” with a spouse or romantic partner, but that equivalence is based on a misunderstanding of the word. While it is possible that one’s spouse or partner fills that role, it is just as possible that someone else may serve as confidante, confidant, companion, advisor, etc. But, because of misunderstanding the word, people who might otherwise be prospective soulmates for one another may recoil at the suggestion; a connection or bridge between them may, instead, become an uncomfortable moat. In my opinion, males are especially likely to be reticent about considering anyone, especially another male, a soulmate. On the other hand, females may be too quick to identify another female in that way, when the two of them are simply friends. In reality, though, I may be just as confused by the concept as anyone else. It is entirely possible that a soulmate is simply a “woo-woo” term for a close friend. Or something else; something I have yet to understand…something I do not grasp.
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Lately, I have been getting caught up in memories of my dreams. I remember long, quite complex dream sequences that differ from day to day, but that share certain similarities that suggest strong connections between them. Last night, I had three different dreams that somehow merged into one. One involved very large, extremely expensive panes of glass that were to be sent by freight train to San Antonio, but were accidentally broken. Another dealt with a woman who was remodeling an office suite with the help of people she knew—part of the remodel was to add plumbing for a coffee maker and part focused on a large spike being driven through the wall of the office suite into a bedroom I shared with one of my brothers. The third piece featured an extraordinarily expensive wine dinner that was to launch a cruise. Each dream segment was extensively detailed, except for the merged elements, which were blurry and confusing. The similarities bothered me and made me wonder whether my subconscious was attempting to send me cryptic messages.
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I breathe fire, therefore I am a dragon. I lay on my back in the snow, waving my arms and legs, therefore I am an angel. I fantasize about fear and loathing in Las Vegas, therefore I am Hunter S. Thompson. I daydream about living alone on a massive, secluded ranch, therefore I am hermit. I inhale water from the Pacific Ocean, therefore I am a pacifist. I tell time like an old clock, therefore I am wound up. I speak in mixed languages, therefore I am a tongue twister. I was born on a pig farm, therefore I am a baconative. I throw thunderbolts, therefore I am Zeus. I leak blood, therefore I am hemophilia. I harvest grain with a frozen tool, therefore I am an ice sickle. I twist DNA into silent coils, therefore I am a mutation. I demonstrate poverty, therefore I am a poor example. I am a bovine behind the curtains, therefore I am a cow hide. I bend my arm like pasta, therefore I am elbow macaroni. Sometimes, stupid is the only solution.
