Insomniac!

The mind shifts deftly from kool-aid to caterpillars, from coca-cola to criminality—and back again—with no reasonable explanation.  That’s just how the mind, as fractured as it can be at three o’clock in the morning, works.

Darkness in semi-rural Arkansas is almost absolute, emphasizing the inappropriateness of a neighborhood stroll in the middle of the night.  Especially after all the talk of guns and concealed carry licenses and “standing your ground” during Tuesday evening’s Citizens’ Police Academy class.

Absent the allure a walk in the dark might otherwise have, then, I contemplate ideas and how they come to be.  I think about past and present entrepreneurial brainstorms, wondering whether I’ll pursue any of them.  I glance at the clock again…3:14 AM. Still no signs of impending sleepiness.

A dispassionate, arms-length assessment of one’s own thought processes can be both informative and alarming.

In my case, I imagine myself looking at neuro-images of my brain while I think. Different intensities of color flash across my brain as I experience different thoughts and emotions…fear, anxiety, pleasure, creativity, and so on.  I watch the images and try to learn how to control the colors and intensities by controlling my thoughts.  I want to see intense green, so I think the thoughts that corresponded to the last time I saw intense green.  I want to see brilliant flashes of orange and red, so I think the thoughts that brought about those colors before.

Aha!  It works!  So, if I shift my thoughts quickly enough from pornography to financial success, I can turn the images into a rapidly flashing color wheel of green and red/orange!  Then it occurs to me that Christmas trees often are decorated with red and green flashing lights.  Is there a correlation, I wonder?  Is the holiday season guided, neurally, by sex and money?

This, of course, is an imaginary experiment.  I have never seen neuro-images of my brain. But the fact that I think of such an experiment is interesting…maybe informative…and certainly alarming.

It’s now after 3:30 AM.  Still no sleep on the horizon.  I may just have to try another tactic.  Until next time, Blog, have a good night.

About John Swinburn

"Love not what you are but what you may become."― Miguel de Cervantes
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