Some time after returning home yesterday afternoon, a good friend texted to inquire how thing went during our trip to M.D. Anderson in Houston. I responded that it was a long week and I was tired; too tired to talk. And that was true. The underlying reason, though, was more than physical fatigue; I was mentally exhausted from the experience.
On the day I was to formally begin the first day of the clinical trial, my schedule for taking the experimental drug and undergoing chemo with a drug already approved for chemotherapy was delayed. A blood test to determine whether my platelet count remained high enough to be eligible for the study had fallen below the required level. But a re-test showed that my platelet count was high enough. Whew! Back on track.
However, another issue had arisen. The size of the cancerous “lesions” in my chest had been determined to be below the study sponsor’s requirements. The MDA clinical trial staff requested a review, by radiologists, of scan results; the intent was to measure the size of the lesions by examining the lesions from different perspectives. After waiting nearly six hours—with no interim updates—to learn the results, we were told the processes intended for the day could not begin so late in the day and were told we could return to our hotel, which we did. The idea was that the previous day’s planned processes could begin the next day, if the obstacle could be overcome.
Later in the afternoon, I got a call from the leader of the targeted therapy center. The doctor, who had told me earlier in the day about the obstacle presented by the inadequate size of the lesions, called me. He said the entire team had tried to determine legitimate ways that I could qualify, but it appeared that none could be found. Therefore, I could not qualify for the study. He truly had wanted me to be included in the study. The overall study is to involve 153 participants and he had just lost one. During my first visit with him, he explained that the study had very rigid requirements and that it was possible, at any time during the study, circumstances might cause participants to be eliminated.
One serendipitous experience, though, took place on that unfortunate “bad news” day when I got the bad news. We stumbled on a friend from church, who is undergoing follow-up treatment for surgery that removed a malignant tumor from her nasal cavity. She was sitting in a public lounging area, waiting for her next appointment when we saw her. Seeing her and visiting with her for a while helped ease the tension of the day.
I was genuinely and deeply disappointed when I got the news about my involvement in the clinical trial, of course. And I remain rather stunned by the turn of events. But I knew from the beginning that things could go wrong. I am not angry; just sad. But not completely despondent. I sent my Hot Spring oncologist a text, explaining the situation and asking her whether I could commence the therapy she had planned before my involvement in the MDA clinical trial. Coincidentally, I already have an appointment scheduled for this coming Monday for a routine follow-up. She replied that she would make arrangements for me to start the therapy Monday. So, the battle continues—same war, new weapon!
