Choices

The call came yesterday afternoon. I signed, electronically, the consent form to participate in a clinical trial of a cancer drug that has not yet been given to humans. While I do not expect the drug to magically cure my cancer, I really wish it would. The much more likely outcome is that it will do nothing substantive or, at best, slow the progression of the disease. So, why bother? It’s possible that this clinical trial will lead to significant advances, in the future, in battling or even curing cancer. That makes it worth a shot. And the highly unlikely outcome—that it might magically cure my cancer or significantly extend my life—is enough to make me want to go for it. So, my involvement in the first phase of the study probably will begin some time in the first two weeks of April. More round trips to Houston than I’d like to make, but that’s required and I will gratefully make them. Assuming, of course, the government’s “slash and burn” approach to “saving money” does not somehow stall or cancel the study.

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I no longer trust the U.S. Government. The rising tides of falsehoods emerging from desks formerly occupied by moderately trustworthy officials are drowning us in blatant lies. There was a time when I was suspicious of statements issued by “federal authorities.” No longer. Today, I am absolutely confident those statements are deliberately misleading, at best, if not outright fabrications. We are witnessing the willful dismantling of reliable sources of information—replaced by entirely unbelievable propaganda. I wonder why people who tell such glaring lies bother trying to deceive us—their deceit is so obvious even their partners in deception must question the point of crafting their stories. Perhaps it is because they want us to doubt them on those rare occasions when they tell us the truth. If that is the case, they are more cunning even than I thought. And we—those of us who are the targets of their misinformation—must use every tool at our disposal to repel their psychological warfare. Otherwise, we’ve lost the war before the first battle has begun.

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Is it my printer or is it the computer? Something is wrong somewhere; I cannot print anything. The Printer Assistant Tool is not functioning; I have no idea what that tool does. What it does NOT do at the moment is provide me with any assistance in printing. Not from Word, not from Excel, not from a PDF file…zip. My next step will be to turn off my computer and my printer, wait for a few minutes, and then try again. If that doesn’t do the trick, I may threaten both devices with an axe handle or a sledge hammer. Threats have never worked in the past, but “there’s always a first time.” So they say.

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I have several pocket knives, but the one knife I carried with  me all the time has long since disappeared. I am sure it fell out of the watch-pocket of my jeans. None of the other knives is sufficiently appealing to cause me to carry it in place of my old favorite. So, one day soon I will buy a Case brand pocket knife. But I rarely wear jeans any more, opting instead for a stretchy pair of long gym pants with zipper pockets on both sides. No matter what I carry in the pockets, the stretchy fabric causes the item…wallet, phone, knife…to bulge. It’s unseemly. I want a pair of custom stretchy pants with multiple pockets, similar to cargo pants. Until I get them, I’m forced to put my carry-around-stuff in my man-purse. I wish I had done that with my pocket knife. A lot of stuff I kept in my pockets has disappeared over the years, which should have taught me a lesson or two. Damn. I hate that I lost my weapon/tool of choice.