Category Archives: Uncategorized

Revelations and Explorations

Gentle breezes cause the wind chimes hanging from the deck’s cover to make soft, metallic tones. Strong winds and powerful gusts over the last few days accelerated and amplified those sounds, turning soothing notes into constant, jarring “clangs,” loud and … Continue reading

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Two Sides of Different Coins

It’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game. That quote is attributed to Grantland Rice, American sportswriter. Those words place honor, integrity, virtue, honesty, and “sportsmanship” above performance. In other words, results matter less than … Continue reading

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Daydreams and Fantasies

I sometimes daydream about sitting on desolate rocky outcroppings where a continent meets a rough ocean. Waves crash against huge stones, slowly turning the solid landmass into grey boulders and then into pebbles. Eventually, in my mind’s eye, the pebbles … Continue reading

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Coherence

Selecting a cancer treatment option legitimately feels like a life or death decision. But the choices do not have clear consequences—only that one may extend one’s life (or not) and the other(s) have have the same potential effects. The selection … Continue reading

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Trucking

If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide. ~ Mahatma Gandhi ~ My exploration of possible options with M.D. Anderson (MDA) continues today; two scheduled telephone meetings with representatives of the Clinical Center for … Continue reading

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A New Season

I barely noticed the changes in terrain and vegetation as we traveled to Houston last Thursday. But snapshot memories of the drive illustrate the transformation…from hilly pine forests to coastal plains littered with scrub brush and oak trees. And redbud … Continue reading

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Ready to go Home

Time to wander into the week…find out more about the M.D. Anderson plan. In reviewing the volumes of data they have amassed about my medical history, I learned that I am no longer as short as I was…I am shorter! … Continue reading

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Big City

The view from the 15th floor of the Houston Hilton, looking west, is deceiving. If I didn’t know otherwise, I would assume the string of tall buildings springing up from the distant horizon and growing more dense in the view … Continue reading

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Time Will Tell

I met with several oncology staff specialists yesterday, but missed an x-ray I was not told was scheduled. Nothing on the books until Monday…a meeting with a researcher to determine whether I qualify for one or more clinical trials and … Continue reading

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Lucky

We are sitting in the main building of M.D. Anderson Cancer Center, passing time until my requested arrival time of 11:30. The Texas Medical Center is enormous…many, many buildings representing medical specialties from the most common to the rarest of … Continue reading

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A Pocket Hug for the Road

The blank page stares at me again this morning, like yesterday, but I have no mocking, sarcastic comments at the ready to make light of the situation. Instead, I gaze helplessly at the screen, hoping the gears of my mind … Continue reading

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Hunches

Searching for something to think can be an exercise in extreme frustration. No matter where one looks—even in hidden creases and beyond promising bends in the psyche—only emptiness can be found. Emptiness saturates the past, present, and future, as if … Continue reading

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Nothing Can’t Not be True if It’s Based on Insinuendo

The points at which people are willing to risk imprisonment, torture, or their lives in the fight for freedom and self-determination vary. Most people whose lives have not been badly upended by the cruelty of a dictatorial regime probably have … Continue reading

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Sanity Ran Off and Left Me

Not long ago, as I neared a small but tangled highway intersection on the edge of Hot Springs, Arkansas, I was struck by the similarities between humans and ants. Not their physical appearance, of course, but the deliberate nature of … Continue reading

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Adjusting to Reality

Had time not plunged forward in the wee hours of this morning, the moment I am experiencing right now would have been labeled 4:21 A.M. However, thanks to what seems to me a rather arbitrary shift, clocks added an hour. … Continue reading

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Competing with Reality

Sixty years ago today, the first 3500 combat troops arrived in Vietnam to defend the U.S. air base at Da Nang. I do not know whether any of those troops were among the 58,220 U.S. military fatal casualties of the … Continue reading

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Actions and Ideas

Early yesterday morning, I received a phone call from M.D. Anderson Cancer Center, following up on a referral from my oncologist. A consequence of the conversation is that I am scheduled to meet in Houston with an M.D. Anderson oncologist … Continue reading

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Cogitations and Prognoses

The results from my PET-scan were available to me on the cancer center’s portal within an hour or two of the procedure yesterday (Wednesday) morning. As usual, the findings in the report were laced with medical terminology and, therefore, not … Continue reading

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Mind Travel

Online news this morning is deeply depressing, so I will not subject myself to any more of it for a while. I made the mistake of glancing at the AP and NPR websites when I sat down; the headlines were … Continue reading

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Voices of Reason

A quick scan of today’s Life Kit feature on the NPR website this morning led me to another NPR story from last September.  The second piece changed my approach to this drab-looking day just enough to make me want to … Continue reading

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Hopelessly Skeptical and Irrationally Hopeful

Yesterday afternoon, after the outside temperatures had climbed into the low 50s, I went for a short walk. Walking into the brisk breeze, in the dappled shadows of leafless trees, I felt uncomfortably cool, despite wearing a down vest. When … Continue reading

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Philosophizing with My Phalanges

Immutable facts—certainty cast in bronze—often take on different appearances when viewed through a temporal lens. Like people, as they age, they can become encrusted with patina left by the passage of time. Though facts may remain unchanged, their importance—or their … Continue reading

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Déjà vu and More

I finally solved the most recent problem with my blog’s administrative interface, at least for the moment. There’s much more to learn about how to avoid such problems in the future and what to do to limit the potential for … Continue reading

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Context, Again

Blog admin still not functioning properly, but I have nothing better to do…just waiting for the next chemo session and PET-scan. ========= I frequently think about—and perhaps mention too often in my writing—the significance of context in how we perceive the world … Continue reading

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Temporary Fix

Still no fix…but here is what I have been unable to easily post thus far… February 27, 2025 Exploring one’s creativity can be immensely rewarding, but unless it is accompanied by the ability to adequately express it physically—through writing, sculpture, … Continue reading

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