Author Archives: John Swinburn

It is no secret that early morning—before daylight and before most of the life-forms near me in the valley below are awake—is my favorite time of day. It is a selfish time for me, a time when my obligations disappear … Continue reading →

Yesterday was an absolutely delightful day, the kind of experience one hopes every summer day will deliver. Except, of course, yesterday was not a summer day. But the temperature felt like it. I think the air temperature exceeded eighty degrees, … Continue reading →

Today, April 13, would have been my 41st wedding anniversary. It’s hard to believe it has been 41 years since I married the woman who would transform my life into one worth living. It’s harder, still, to believe she has … Continue reading →

For the first time in a very, very long time, I drank a cup of coffee this morning that harkened back to the days when I used to grind my own coffee beans and make a pot of powerful coffee … Continue reading →

I struggle with my tendency to shoot from the hip from time to time. The occasional misfires can cause me, and people in my sphere, discomfort I do not intend but that flows from my actions, nonetheless. There’s value in … Continue reading →

Yesterday, a friend arrived for a visit. We spent the afternoon talking and wondering whether the rain would stop. When it did, we went to dinner at a lakeside restaurant; beautiful view, good service, tolerable but disappointing meal (for me). … Continue reading →

Another few tidbits from my little book, The Essence of Zen: Past and future are illusions. They exist only in the present, which is what there is and all that there is. ~Alan Watts~ Solitude is freedom. It is an … Continue reading →

Once again, I woke late this morning. When I opened my eyes, the view challenged the majesty of an enormous and elaborate stained-glass window in a church sanctuary. The sun had only begun to brighten the sky, cloudless but awash … Continue reading →

For the first time in my memory, I measured the two surgical scars on the front of my torso. Both are roughly seven inches long. Though I can’t readily reach the scar that runs from my back around the side … Continue reading →

As we age, we lose pieces of ourselves. In our youth, we could not conceive of the losses. How could it possibly be, we silently but mockingly wondered, that something so crucial to our sense of self could disappear into … Continue reading →

The simultaneous intersections of a host of experiences of emotional and analytical experiences in my mind have, once again, highlighted significant flaws. That is, which ones can be repaired and which of the shattered and broken pieces should simply be … Continue reading →

My mother, a career English teacher who earned her master’s degree in English, was something of a grammar Nazi. That, no doubt, is part of the reason sometimes I am so particular with language. However, I am happy to ignore … Continue reading →

NOTE: I received communication from a woman who is related to some of the people whose names I originally included on this post. She asked me to remove those names.  Inasmuch as it was never my intent to cause anyone … Continue reading →

Libido. One of the definitions of the word is: all of the instinctual energies and desires that are derived from the id. Id is defined as the part of the psyche, residing in the unconscious, that is the source of … Continue reading →

Yesterday was the last official “class” that dealt with spiritual practices (AKA  “deeply introspective and appreciative examinations of the world and sometimes moments of unspeakable gratitude”). But there was talk about continuing the group as a means of prolonging the … Continue reading →

The time is approaching 6:00 a.m. The remaining half of the first cup of coffee is cooling too fast. Or I’m drinking it too slow. Last night’s dishes, some of which I uncharacteristically left in the sink, now are either … Continue reading →

People express their fragility in different ways. For some, their brittleness seems spun from delicate, almost invisible, strands of molten glass. They seem at risk of shattering into sandy powder in the slightest breeze. Others, though, attempt to hide weakness … Continue reading →

The unexamined life is not worth living. ~Socrates~ Since my wife died, I’ve read quite a lot about grief. I don’t know what I expected to learn; perhaps how to get through it and get on with my life. But … Continue reading →

I just spent an hour writing a post that will linger in my drafts folder until I finally decide the post should be euthanized. That’s how I managed to have 455 incomplete posts in my drafts folder. And that’s after … Continue reading →

This morning, I rinsed off the soap and shampoo and stood under the showerhead, luxuriating in hot water. I always finish my showers by increasing the water temperature until it’s just barely tolerable; that leaves me feeling especially refreshed. I … Continue reading →

Before I get into yesterday’s failures, I want to soak in the beauty of this morning’s sunrise. The mist clinging like a cloud to a distant lake is grey and purple, colored by the sun’s rays and the reflections from … Continue reading →

I am an occasional participant, but far more frequently I am simply a voyeur. I comment from time to time, but usually I just watch and absorb and wish my life were a little more like the ones I observe. … Continue reading →

There is poetry in all of us, whether we know it or believe it or not. Some of the poetry is stunning in its beauty and its clarity. Last night, I received a poem from a friend (who wrote the … Continue reading →

My attitudes about so many aspects of life have changed during the past few years. Perhaps retirement is responsible. Or maybe it’s a combination of retirement and the fact that I’m more at ease, not having to face the daily … Continue reading →

Something is on my mind, something solemn, dreary, and depressing. But I do not know just what it is. I know only that there’s something buried within my brain and behind my heart—a dark and upsetting event or idea or … Continue reading →