Author Archives: John Swinburn

Yesterday was the last official “class” that dealt with spiritual practices (AKA  “deeply introspective and appreciative examinations of the world and sometimes moments of unspeakable gratitude”). But there was talk about continuing the group as a means of prolonging the … Continue reading →

The time is approaching 6:00 a.m. The remaining half of the first cup of coffee is cooling too fast. Or I’m drinking it too slow. Last night’s dishes, some of which I uncharacteristically left in the sink, now are either … Continue reading →

People express their fragility in different ways. For some, their brittleness seems spun from delicate, almost invisible, strands of molten glass. They seem at risk of shattering into sandy powder in the slightest breeze. Others, though, attempt to hide weakness … Continue reading →

The unexamined life is not worth living. ~Socrates~ Since my wife died, I’ve read quite a lot about grief. I don’t know what I expected to learn; perhaps how to get through it and get on with my life. But … Continue reading →

I just spent an hour writing a post that will linger in my drafts folder until I finally decide the post should be euthanized. That’s how I managed to have 455 incomplete posts in my drafts folder. And that’s after … Continue reading →

This morning, I rinsed off the soap and shampoo and stood under the showerhead, luxuriating in hot water. I always finish my showers by increasing the water temperature until it’s just barely tolerable; that leaves me feeling especially refreshed. I … Continue reading →

Before I get into yesterday’s failures, I want to soak in the beauty of this morning’s sunrise. The mist clinging like a cloud to a distant lake is grey and purple, colored by the sun’s rays and the reflections from … Continue reading →

I am an occasional participant, but far more frequently I am simply a voyeur. I comment from time to time, but usually I just watch and absorb and wish my life were a little more like the ones I observe. … Continue reading →

There is poetry in all of us, whether we know it or believe it or not. Some of the poetry is stunning in its beauty and its clarity. Last night, I received a poem from a friend (who wrote the … Continue reading →

My attitudes about so many aspects of life have changed during the past few years. Perhaps retirement is responsible. Or maybe it’s a combination of retirement and the fact that I’m more at ease, not having to face the daily … Continue reading →

Something is on my mind, something solemn, dreary, and depressing. But I do not know just what it is. I know only that there’s something buried within my brain and behind my heart—a dark and upsetting event or idea or … Continue reading →

I wrote most of what follows much earlier today. But the day fractured into pieces and went in different directions. And so did I. I went to church to meet a man who refurbishes parking lots. I walked Bob. Friends … Continue reading →

People want to matter. They want to believe they have a purpose for being alive. Something beyond simply basking in enjoyable experiences and accumulating things of value and money. Most people want more than that. But for some, all that … Continue reading →

Finally, after 9 a.m., I am able to sit—however briefly—at my computer. I sit here attempting to write something other than my usual drivel. But nothing comes. Not even the drivel. I wish I could write a poem; sometimes, writing … Continue reading →

I learned of Bob’s fear of thunder and lightning when I felt his paws pulling at the sheet. He was trying to climb up into bed with me. I succeeded in preventing it, but moments later—when a bright flash of … Continue reading →

I did not do a very good job of taking a picture, but this image should illustrate reasonably well what the urn I had made for Janine’s ashes looks like. Her favorite color was purple, so I had the urn … Continue reading →

I want to make an appointment with a surgeon. I need to find one who will do a lobotomy, no questions asked. Cash only. No record of the patient’s name, address, gender, race, hair color, eye color. Nothing. Just a … Continue reading →

The clock claims the hour is 6:00 a.m., but I know better. The time actually is an hour earlier. But what, exactly, is a moment in “time?” Could I label this very instant in time as 5:37 p.m., adjusting all … Continue reading →

A year ago, panic buying of toilet paper had begun. Grocery store shelves had been stripped of dried beans and rice. When a herd mentality, driven by fear of the unknown, begins to evolve, intelligence tends to slip beneath the … Continue reading →

This morning’s moment of awe came when I paid close attention to the act of swallowing my daily dose of tablets and pills. Having very little patience, I do not swallow them one by one. Instead, I pour them into … Continue reading →

My first blog was entitled Musings from Myopia. The second one was Brittle Road. The third, It Matters Deeply. Those three, plus this one, are the only ones with any significant substance. A few others, each only one or two … Continue reading →

When we are unsure of the directions our lives should take, everyone in our spheres want to become compasses. No matter how different we are from one another, the fact that we belong to the same species suggests we should … Continue reading →

The unlit day was cloudy, cool, and windy as I wrote this. I knew these weather conditions from experience, because Bob already had insisted on going outside into the dark. I assumed he needed to relieve himself, but it seems … Continue reading →

A few days ago, the decision my late wife and I made to skip the joys and obligations of parenthood was a subject of my observations. Today, I am at least the temporary caretaker of a fifty-four pound lap dog … Continue reading →

The decision to have children is, to many and perhaps most people, no more a decision than is growing hair. It is viewed as the inevitable outcome of maturation; the natural process of replenishing and enlarging the herd. Contravening the … Continue reading →