Author Archives: John Swinburn

One year ago today, my wife of almost 41 years died. This awful, painful anniversary is immeasurably sad. Even a year later, I cannot quite believe she is gone. I still have too many things to say to her, too … Continue reading →

Just before 4:00 a.m., I woke—alone in bed—to loud cracks of thunder and pounding rain. Moments after I woke, I heard my IC speaking words of comfort to her dog. The beast always cowers, seeking comfort on a lap or … Continue reading →

Yesterday, we invited a few friends to come take a look at the house my IC and I just bought. We could have waited until we cleaned the place up, paint, put up new light fixtures, blew layers of leaves … Continue reading →

The simplest acts of kindness are by far more powerful then a thousand heads bowing in prayer. ~ Mahatma Gandhi ~ I feel almost powerless to help. Money, alone, seems entirely inadequate, but even if I rushed to the scene … Continue reading →

You probably do not want to read this post. Whether you read it or not depends on how you feel about the day. And about me. And it depends on your mood. And what matters to you. Whether you read … Continue reading →

I once wrote a response to an idiotic post I saw on a public Facebook group. The post, or perhaps it was a response to a post, insisted that homosexuality is a “choice.” My response said something to the effect … Continue reading →

I feel compelled to write something, just to have a record that I was awake and alive just before 6 this morning. Beyond being awake and alive, I can make no claims. Other than feeling dull and spent and disinterested … Continue reading →

Nature is an infinite sphere whose center is everywhere and whose circumference is nowhere. ~ Blaise Pascal ~ +++ More Latin phrases, courtesy of one of my brothers: Vocatus at que non vocatus, Deus aderit: Bidden or unbidden, God is … Continue reading →

“Always think, and question everything.” I admire the elegant beauty of the Latin language. Something about it appeals deeply to my sense of curiosity. And to my appreciation for its ability to express powerful ideas with remarkable brevity. Despite its … Continue reading →

Clearly, I am experiencing an empty spot in my thought processes. I cannot think of anything interesting to write about. Nothing seems especially intriguing. No topic, no current event, no idea seems particularly inviting. So, I write blather. But that’s … Continue reading →

My Christmas spirit seems to have gone right out the window. I was feeling pretty “up” yesterday morning, but my cheerful countenance has been replaced with a sour frown and the attitude to match. Maybe I will be able to … Continue reading →

The urge toward generosity and compassion tends to emerge from its hiding places late in the year, bursting into public view around Thanksgiving and Christmas. Public displays of charity abound around the holidays. In my experience, these visible expressions of … Continue reading →

By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.” ~ Confucius ~ +++ When I woke, over five hours ago, I glanced … Continue reading →

My family had pets when I was a child, but like many children, I probably was not especially observant, so it is likely I missed some of the creatures’ attributes and characteristics. Even if I observed them, I have long … Continue reading →

I sometimes imagine myself spending time alone in desolate places—places essentially inaccessible except to me. The time I spend there is not necessarily lengthy, but is long enough for me to dig out, briefly, from under all the sediment of … Continue reading →

About a year ago, I wrote a moderately rambling post in which I mentioned my interest in writing the autobiography of fire. As I mused about fire—what it is and what it does—I felt its connection to the sky. These … Continue reading →

Expecting perfection in oneself is a recipe for disappointment. Even striving for perfection leads to dissatisfaction with one’s failures. Yet using perfection as an ever-illusive yardstick against which one measures not attainment, but merely progress, is wise application of experience. … Continue reading →

Timothy McVeigh was executed three months to the day in advance of the September 11, 2001 attacks: on the World Trade Center, on the Pentagon, and on a hijacked plane that crashed in Somerset County, Pennsylvania. The terrorist act for … Continue reading →

Yesterday began far too early and lasted far too long. I privately had hoped to cap off the day with a celebration of the house-closing, coupled with a much-delayed birthday steak dinner, at a nice restaurant in town. But the … Continue reading →

We were almost finished signing papers on the closing for our next house when things fell apart. Because the survey revealed that the house was built on two lots—the property line dividing the lots running right through the house—our Realtor … Continue reading →

The one-year anniversary of my wife’s death looms, less than three weeks away, and I feel an overwhelming sadness grow inside me like a treacherous tumor. I cannot seem to excise that emotional sarcoma that wraps itself around every shred … Continue reading →

In matters of style, swim with the current. In matters of principle, stand like a rock. ~ Thomas Jefferson ~ Social cues about masculinity and femininity may not intentionally steer us into dark, bigoted corners of the psyche. Those sometimes … Continue reading →

We watched the remaining five episodes of Clickbait last night. It improved. Up until the seventh episode. Episodes seven and eight become absurd in the extreme. Think of a murder mystery book in which the perpetrator is introduced, for the … Continue reading →

I knew better than to skim the headlines on the CNN website this morning, but I did it anyway. As I read the words—ostensibly intended to enlighten me about important events in recent days—it occurred to me that the vast … Continue reading →

Yesterday’s meal was tasty. And the conversations surrounding it were equally pleasing. But when I woke up this morning, long before daylight, I felt rotten. In between visits to the bathroom, I slept on the reclining loveseat, hoping to recover … Continue reading →