Author Archives: John Swinburn

A friend who attends my church is on  hospice care at home. If she is up to it, I will visit her this morning. She and her husband were among the wonderfully caring people whose emotional support was so valuable … Continue reading →

The long list of medications my doctors advise me to take remind me of the replacement brake pads I will have installed on my car this morning. The drugs are intended to extend my useful life, just as replacement automobile … Continue reading →

If we would just acknowledge that our perspectives are not necessarily “right,” we might better understand the world in which we live. If we would accept that perspectives that differ from our own may be equally as valid, and possibly … Continue reading →

Yesterday, just after mi novia returned from her visit to the urgent care clinic in Hot Springs (where her COVID-19 test came back negative—but she has a very bad cold), a little herd of deer appeared in the woods behind … Continue reading →

Damn! Mi novia is on her way to the “convenient care” clinic in Hot Springs, where she expects to be tested for COVID-19. If the test is positive, confirming the home test she administered this morning, she (and I) hope … Continue reading →

An hour ago, it was four in the morning. It’s five o’clock as I write this. During the time between the two moments, nothing of consequence happened in my life. At least nothing I know about. It is possible, of … Continue reading →

The headline reads, “AP’s top 2022 photos capture a planet bursting at the seams.” The contents of the collection of photographs are fascinating. Some images are moving; others, deeply disturbing. Taken as a whole, they offer perspectives on life and … Continue reading →

A thousand thoughts flood my head. They have no theme; they compete with one another, a chaotic tangle of unrelated ideas, memories, dreams, and desires. Many of them…or is it most of them?…are unsuitable for sharing here. Or anywhere. They … Continue reading →

At what point does a hug become an embrace? Where is the threshold between a “peck” or a “smooch” and a kiss? How long must a handshake last before it becomes “holding hands?” Intimacy, like so many other experiences, is … Continue reading →

The evidence is pervasive, yet imprecise. Suggestions that the empire created and controlled by the United States is faltering meet with disdain. And revelations that illustrate the scope and rate of decline are harshly criticized. People uncovering clues and confirmation … Continue reading →

I can be deeply passionate about ideas and people and experiences and the world in general. But the depth of those passions varies, both between and among the objects of my passion. My own inconsistencies trouble me. I wish I … Continue reading →

I observe far more than I participate. In virtually every facet of life. Television and film were created for people like me; voyeurs who obtain satisfaction from watching and listening to strangers who intentionally behave in ways that are contrary … Continue reading →

Here we are, Black Friday, the day set aside annually to worship avarice, excess, gluttony—unchecked greed. Capitalism may have numerous admirable qualities, but too often they hide beneath layer upon layer of hideous flaws. I remember news reports from years … Continue reading →

Thanksgiving dinner. It would be better freshly-baked, but Domino’s Pizza is not open on Thanksgiving Day, so we ordered the pizzas last night. One for Thanksgiving Eve dinner, one for the actual Day’s celebratory meal. Re-heated Thanksgiving Day pizza is … Continue reading →

My reflection in the window surprised me. For an instant, I thought what I saw in front of me, just outside the window of my study, was a deer. But it was only a hazy mirror image of my hand … Continue reading →

Guilt is among the most troubling and torturous emotions. It attaches itself to one’s personality and refuses to release its death grip. Guilt grows from the assignment of blame; not by someone else, but by oneself. It insinuates itself into … Continue reading →

When I awoke, just a few minutes before 5, the word volcano came to mind. It was not just the word, of course. The rumbling of the ground beneath my feet, as I stood at the edge of the caldera left … Continue reading →

Sitting at my desk, gazing out the window, I get the sense that I am looking at a photograph or a painting. The branches and leaves are absolutely still, as if frozen in a moment in time. Only when I … Continue reading →

Attempting meditation, my mind sometimes refuses to leave me to my serenity, insisting instead that my thoughts focus on a discussion I wish had taken a different direction than it actually took. Or my mind may stubbornly cling to an … Continue reading →

I consider myself a “has been” lately, in the context of deciding whether I really am a writer. I used to write fiction. Every day. My blog was my outlet for fiction vignettes. I rarely finished a story, but I … Continue reading →

“She seemed to be such a happy person.” I have read that refrain, or something like it, so many times following a suicide.  Or conversely, the decedent may have been labeled a “sad person,” suggesting his own life was almost … Continue reading →

Only vague scenes from my dream remain. In one, I am attempting to sweep up balls of lint from the carpeted floor of the community hall of my church, but the broom leaves most of the stuff on the floor, … Continue reading →

Life is a series of dramatic acts that collectively attempt to explain the inexplicable. The purpose of every scene is to make tolerable the unbearable. Ah, I think that description—ascribing motive and purpose to life—tips the scales toward melodrama. It … Continue reading →

There are days that I ache to engage in long philosophical conversations with someone whose sensitivities parallel mine, but whose perspectives on life may deviate from mine. Someone whose life experiences may have shaped a different world-view. I want to … Continue reading →

The replacement of the old, non-working gas logs with a new set came just in time, right before the first significant cold front of the season arrived. We seasoned the new gas logs with five hours of burning at the … Continue reading →