Author Archives: John Swinburn

Every year, within a day or two of my father’s birthday, my thoughts wander into a poem written by Rudyard Kipling. The poem—If— is said to have been among my father’s favorite poems.  I did not know my father very … Continue reading →

Much of my pliable energy—the strengths on which I have relied for most of the last 70+ years—have become hard and brittle over time. Now, all the forms’ energies—including physical, mental, and emotional—starve for oxygen beneath years of thick accumulated … Continue reading →

Yet again, I’ve been up since 3, but unable to write anything of consequence. Everything I’ve written thus far has collapsed into scraps of damaged letters and malformed syllables. Fragments of incomplete ideas lay scattered across the monitor in front … Continue reading →

The question, ultimately, is this: do chains represent gentle, flexible tethers or unyielding hardened steel traps? Even more important questions: who set them? And for what purpose? The answers are not as important as the people who provide them. Some … Continue reading →

The wee hours of the morning are conducive to introspection. The mysteries of silence and darkness in the early hours coincide with dimensions of self that hide behind curtains of anonymity. Thoughts that one can share only with oneself—no matter … Continue reading →

I changed the configuration of my study yesterday. The transformation, relatively minor, reminded me there is only so much I can do with my “retreat” space. Oh, I could do more if I had an unlimited budget and access to … Continue reading →

I opened my eyes, expecting darkness. Instead, soft light—dim enough that it cast no shadows but bright enough to expel every shred of darkness—filled the room. Somehow, daybreak had come and gone without announcing its arrival or departure. Yet here … Continue reading →

We are here and it is now. Further than that, all human knowledge is moonshine. ~ H. L. Mencken ~ I am not quite sure what to expect this morning, when one or more representatives of Arkansas Hospice will come … Continue reading →

I willingly bought into the sales pitch for the new Amazon Prime television series. The promotional teasers did not do a good job of selling the show to me; I did that myself. I believed what the marketers told me … Continue reading →

Food is not the answer. Pharmaceutical products do not provide the answer. Exercise offers answers, but not to the questions posed. Meditation offers advice, but in a language only ascetics can understand. There is danger in asking the wrong questions; … Continue reading →

Extraneous sounds. Barely audible shreds of irrelevant noise. Scraps of imaginary whispered debris—the only remaining evidence of the eerily silent echoes that once competed for limited space in the boundless emptiness of his mind. But was it really his mind? … Continue reading →

We do not know what we are looking for; only that we are looking for something that will become apparent when we find it. But the explanation of the target of our search will be far too convoluted for us … Continue reading →

My thoughts are far from profound this morning. They are merely mundane remnants of incomplete ideas—poorly-formed notions left withering in the absence of fuel to keep them alive and growing. Thinking back on what once almost seemed flashes of near-brilliance, … Continue reading →

Trust and hope are built on evidence—not on empty promises and blind confidence. The most successful con-artists, though, create believability by openly challenging their own lies. Using masterful and brazen manipulation, the most skillful schemers offer absolute assurances comprising nothing … Continue reading →

No man is an island, Entire of itself, Every man is a piece of the continent, A part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less. As well as if a promontory … Continue reading →

A short set of radiology treatments for me is in the planning stages. As soon as the radiologist completes the necessary calculations, etc., they will begin a 2-week (two consecutive 5-day sessions) series of treatments in an effort to eliminate … Continue reading →

“If we were honest with ourselves, we would admit our lives are fictions, narrative yarns we spin from experiences as we witness them, not necessarily as they are. We write the stories of our lives on the fly, stitching together … Continue reading →

As a child, I learned that sounds arise from vibrations of an object that disturb the media surrounding the object. These disturbances create variations in pressure that propagate as waves that our brains interpret as sounds upon reaching our ears.  … Continue reading →

I do not look forward to the home-nurse visit today. I’d rather go back to bed. In fact, I do not know whether she will come today, but I suspect she will. I knew better than to get up so … Continue reading →

Finally, after months of wishing and hoping my treadmill would disappear, it happened. We presented it to the guy who maintains our HVAC system…and whose wife visits us regularly to do the housework we are either incapable of doing or … Continue reading →

This page has remained empty until just now, roughly five hours after I awoke—when I began my day with espresso, a banana, and the protein drink I usually mis-label as Essence, instead of calling it by its proper name, Ensure. … Continue reading →

I watched the frequency of reader visits to this blog decline. The stories that rattled around in my head echoed against empty spaces. They were not really “stories,” either. They dissolved into ideas; then, fleeting thoughts. Finally, incomplete prophesies that … Continue reading →

I cannot blame yesterday’s chemo treatment—because the pain began before the treatment started. And I seriously doubt I can legitimately attribute the pain to a previous treatment, the most recent of which took place many weeks ago. In fact, I … Continue reading →

Hoarding cash and precious metals is an act of impotent desperation. Neither symbol of worth fulfills the promise of safety. Neither delivers on assurances of survival. Neither possesses intrinsic value. Their significance comprises false hopes, cobbled together with shreds of … Continue reading →

There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. ~ Albert Einstein ~ There are no mundane things outside of Buddhism, and there is … Continue reading →