Author Archives: John Swinburn

The time is closing in on five o’clock as I begin writing. I have been up since just before four. My mind has been struggling, without success, to remember a perplexing dream. I recall only that the dream was intense … Continue reading →

The grey sky, pale and cloudless, is visible behind swaying trees. Waves of sound—mimicking the cacophony of the ocean shore—keep time with the trees’ movement. In one instant, the entire forest seems to bend back and forth in response to … Continue reading →

Today, after a phone visit with a fellow church member to discuss a “workshop” I have agreed to facilitate, I will stop by another church member’s house to copy a video onto a flash drive. That is in preparation for … Continue reading →

Muscles in the back of the neck become tight. The shoulders and upper back stiffen, as well. The tension causes knots to form within long strips of rigid, contracted muscle. Ribbons of tendons, stretched almost to the point of snapping, … Continue reading →

A chance event can behave like a stick of dynamite that, when detonated, breaches the mental dam that holds back a flood of memories. After more than fifty years, long lost recollections can rush in, hydrating layer upon layer of … Continue reading →

Question everything. Believe nothing, least of all the stories you tell yourself. Your certainty scorches the thin layer of ice under your feet…your only protection from the boiling cauldron of misjudgment beneath you. ~ John Swinburn ~ Roughly three and … Continue reading →

The morning, thus far, has seemed almost a frenzy of activity, said activities infringing on achievement of my desired serenity. I suppose I will have to get used to the dislocation of my treasured quiet solitude; the directions given to … Continue reading →

Once again, my love affair with the solitude of early morning darkness promises to be all too brief. Though I awoke at a reasonable hour, showering and shaving interfered with the commencement of the day. The time is now 6:30; … Continue reading →

Noise. Perpetual noise. Like the constant humming or grinding or scraping of crickets. If what I “hear” is simply evidence of tinnitus—or even if it is not—I want it to stop. Now. Some days, I suppose I’m just used to … Continue reading →

My very long-time habit of waking extremely early seems, unfortunately, to be dissolving. This morning, I woke just after 6:30, a full hour later than my normal “latest” time to wake. The loss of an hour or more of my … Continue reading →

Last night, I slept only intermittently. During those brief periods when I slept, I was semi-conscious; my so-called sleep was a troubled amalgamation of wishes and fears and reactions to imprecise concerns going back to my childhood—a nasty brew that … Continue reading →

What delights will 2023 bring? What pleasures? What pains? There’s no value in anticipating the unknowable, nor use in wishing for circumstances over which I have little or no control. Hopes and dreams and dreads sometimes seem such wasteful expenditures … Continue reading →

Whether it was the flu or a fierce cold, I’ll probably never know. Whatever I had—have—kept me from writing coherently for a few days. I chose not to try to post anything the last couple of days of 2022, opting … Continue reading →

Millions of people are in far worse shape than I. People around the globe live in extreme poverty, are exposed to existential dangers posed by war, face climate disasters that could bring utter ruin, or any combination of other horrors … Continue reading →

Yesterday’s creative void turned into a series of naps, punctuated by coughing, nasal decongesting, and other such symptoms of a cold. After said naps, I felt somewhat better. This afternoon, after another night’s and morning’s sleep, I feel considerably worse. … Continue reading →

Usually, even when my mind is blank, I can sit down at my computer and write…something. Not so this morning. I have run into a wall ever since I awoke. An immoveable wall; solid concrete blocks laced together with steel … Continue reading →

It’s Christmas Day. Last year on this day, I spent a good bit of the day making a variety of Spanish tapas for the day’s celebratory meal. However, the day was a bit rough, as one of my brothers was … Continue reading →

The Great Deception. Every year, millions of children are introduced to variations on a long-living lie sustained through collusion and delusion. Parents—intentionally and purposefully—lie to their children, never considering that modeling is far more effective in molding future behaviors than … Continue reading →

Brutally cold air—currently in the neighborhood of 1°F—surrounds my warm, cozy house. The wind chill value is and will continue to be considerably lower than that, between -15°F and -30°F, according to hyper-local weather reports and forecasts. So far, water … Continue reading →

Waves in the ocean, generated by wind, are said to travel hundreds or even thousands of miles. The language used to describe waves—their genesis, and their demise—is unique. Terms like fetch and swell and contact distance and stochastic process are meant … Continue reading →

Today is the winter solstice, when one of the Earth’s poles reaches its maximum tilt away from the Sun. This is the day with the northern hemisphere’s shortest period of daylight and the longest night. Perhaps I would have figured … Continue reading →

Yesterday would have been an appropriate day to light a cone of patchouli incense, but I failed to think of it. Today, though, for a variety of reasons, it came to mind. So, as I sit here, the scent of … Continue reading →

Never. I have used the word without considering its finality. It was just another word; a throw-away term for an abstract concept. But today, on the second anniversary of my wife’s death, I understand it. My understanding did not occur … Continue reading →

I tried to get back to sleep, but I failed. So I got up about 3:45 and played Words with Friends with another insomniac. And I noticed the very moment a different insomniac liked a photo I posted on Facebook … Continue reading →

Hunter S. Thompson took his own life. He committed suicide at age 67. Something I read early this morning mentioned Thompson in passing. For some reason, that casual aside about him led me down a rabbit warren. I refreshed my … Continue reading →