I have a lot of rage about things that didn’t happen to me, tied up with watching an immigrant, working-class father struggle to make his way through the world – and seeing how society was modeled to keep him in his place.
~ Dennis Lehane ~
+++
My inexpensive espresso machine has never produced an end-product that is as hot as it should be. Lately, I’ve felt a distinct decline in the temperature of my morning elixir—enough to cause me to consider replacing the machine. I crave espresso from a high-end espresso maker—the kind that involves using fresh roasted beans, ground to a powdery consistency. But I have become increasingly lazy and impatient with advancing age, so at present I settle for a machine that uses pre-filled aluminum pods. No matter how much I might enjoy the time-consuming product of an upscale machine, I am satisfied with the rich flavor supplied by the rather pricey pods. Just as importantly, if not more so, the extraordinary speed of my little machine meets my need for almost instant gratification. So…I may look into a replacement; a machine that uses the same pods I use now. I am pleased with everything about my morning espresso except its temperature. And, of course, I could survive without replacing my machine. But I am greedy and needy and innately lazy.
+++
I have twice postponed a procedure that is said to correct the epithelial basement membrane dystrophy condition that negatively affects my vision, especially in my left eye (which would be the first one to be addressed). My reasons for delaying the procedure are complex; and probably understandable only by me, so I will not attempt to explain. In years past, I opted to decline other opportunities to correct physical flaws; the deviated septum in my nose and the attention-grabbing diastema between my two upper front teeth. And, of course, long ago I could have corrected my obesity, rather than waiting for cancer and its treatment to partially do the job for me. As I consider the fact that I have refused to take actions to correct troublesome aspects of my physical self, I suspect there is a mental or emotional aspect to my decisions. Well, of course there is, but I am not clear about exactly what that aspect might be. I have suspicions, but my brain refuses to sufficiently focus on them with enough intensity to verify them. It’s well past time to give the matter significant thought; yet I do.
+++
Assuming the results of today’s lab tests reveal my red blood cell count is sufficient, last week’s chemotherapy session—which was delayed—will take place today. The delay gave me an additional week of feeling a little closer to “normal,” which I appreciated. Getting out of the house for a restaurant meal was a nice change, for example. But I wonder how much of a negative impact, if any, such a delay in treatment might have on its effectiveness. I think I’ve posed that question before to the oncology nurse who shares treatment responsibilities with my oncologist, who said it does not. I still wonder. I may learn today a more specific timeline than “soon” for my next PET-scan. I am anxious to get the results of the scan; more importantly, I want to know details about the meaning of the results. Time will answer my questions.
+++
The power of the U.S. presidency should be curtailed…dramatically. Assumptions that the checks and balances available through Congress will constraint the abuse of power have proven to be wrong. This Congress will not place any restraints on the president’s power; even if it tried, its members do not have the courage to override presidential vetoes of legislation limiting those powers. A popular uprising—complete with pitchforks and rage—may be the only remaining option. The problem with such an option, of course, is that nearly half the population support illegal and immoral actions by the president. That part of the populace would support wholesale slaughter of his opponents in the streets. Ach!
+++
We have allowed poison and rabies to take up residence in the White House.
