A Long Story About a Short Subject

I spent the better part of a recent afternoon doing one of the many things I should have done months ago; cleaning and organizing the garage.

The most onerous component of the project was moving big, unwieldy pieces of metal deck furniture down the steep and rocky slope beside the house into the crawl-space below. I use the term crawl-space advisedly; it’s easily big enough to serve as a second living area and, at the highest point, a good seventeen feet from the ground to the floor-joists of the house above. I’m storing the unused metal anachronisms on the large, sturdy wooden deck beneath the house. The deck probably was built to serve as a work area. Or maybe it was intended to be a storage space. Regardless of its originally intended use, it is a BEAST to get to, especially while carting big metal deck chairs and tables while traversing flagstones atop shifting gravel. The only access to the space is under the back side of the house and the only way to get there is to descend a mountain. The latter point is only a slight exaggeration.

With the deck furniture out of the way, I was able to maneuver boxes into empty space along the garage wall and otherwise clear enough space on one side of the garage so that a car would fit.  (The deck furniture, by the way, came with the house and was not suitable for many reasons and so was replaced with something we liked a bit better.) We already could fit one car, our only one, into the garage, but it’s a two-car garage. Now, if we had a second car, it would fit, as well.  And, don’t you know, since there’s space for a second car, I think it’s high time we put one there.  Ever since we moved here, we’ve intended to get a second car.  We have been able to do without, but it’s an inconvenience.  We’ve experienced that inconvenience since I sold my last vehicle.

My questions to you begin: what color car should we buy? Red? Silver?  Black is out, of course, as my experience with dark-colored cars was unpleasant. But how about white? Is it wrong to drive a white car?

Next, should I focus on MPG or…what?  I’m inclined to think very high MPG would be good. That, and carrying capacity.  And I demand comfort, extreme comfort.

Leather is good. Soft leather.  Leather that seduces me the way I should be seduced.  I like being seduced.  I think.  Actually, I’ve never been seduced (believe it or not; I know, it’s hard to believe someone as seducible as I have failed to succumb to seduction, but there you are), but I’m open to the idea, if for no other reason that to be able to write about my response to the seduction.

But, back to the car. How about air bags?  Okay, it must have them, lots of them. And an uber-extraordinary sound system. Oooh! Oooh! In-dash GPS would be cool!

A place to store hamburgers would be appreciated, too.  A place to warm stored hamburgers would be even better.

And there you have it. A story whose ending has no beginning and vice versa.

But my garage remains neat and tidy and aching for  a car.

About John Swinburn

"Love not what you are but what you may become."― Miguel de Cervantes
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