As far as I know, I do not have a history of grinding my teeth. But that habit—or tendency or whatever—seems to have taken hold in recent weeks. It may not be full-on grinding; maybe just clenching my jaws. Whatever it is, I notice it more and more frequently. I sometimes wake to realize my jaws are tight and their muscles are oddly sore, as if they have been overworked. When awake, I sometimes notice that I am involuntarily grinding my teeth. Treatments for bruxism, the medical term for the condition, include physical approaches (splints, guards, and tooth repairs) and behavioral management; medications, apparently, are rarely successful. I do not think I could tolerate physical approaches. Biofeedback and behavioral therapy reportedly can be successful; affirmative self-control, though, may be my first step. Why is it that, as one ages, the number of ailments—real or imagined—seem to multiple like concupiscent rabbits?
The aging process is not gradual or gentle. It rushes up, pushes you over, and runs off laughing. No one should grow old who isn’t ready to appear ridiculous.
~ John Mortimer ~
Some older men who wear driving caps and walk with canes look distinguished. My oldest brother is one of them. I am one of those who do not look distinguished, so I suppose I better be ready to appear ridiculous. My look has been obvious for a long while; but I have been blind, until recently, to the ridiculousness. I think I am ready to take off the blinders.
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My oncologist expressed compassionate disappointment yesterday—not in my current prognosis, which will not be known until a PET-scan before my next chemo treatment—but in my behavior. She expressed concern that, once again, my weight had declined by several pounds. And she gently but firmly reminded me that I need to get more exercise. The weight loss, she said, is likely due to loss of muscle, not fat, as demonstrated by evidence of declining strength; and I need muscle’s energy to fight the cancer. So, with my agreement, she will arrange for me to get physical therapy…several times per week, if possible. She encouraged me, again, to try to eat more. The calories are needed, she explained, to enable me to replenish the energy I have lost. Mi novia had mentioned to her that I had needed to sit down for several minutes on the way into the church sanctuary last Sunday as we prepared for the fifth Sunday’s musical event. It was a matter of feeling extraordinarily weak; I could not argue with that. Until my last couple of PET-scans, I looked forward to learning the results because, until then, they revealed no evidence that cancer had returned. Since then, though, my anxiety sometimes grows as the time for the next one nears. That anxiety occasionally declines when I successfully remind myself that I have no control over the results…but it increases again when I remind myself that I actually do have some control. My diet, for example, and forcing myself to get some exercise. So, I will make a point to do what my doctor strongly recommends. I told her I would return for the chemo session in three weeks—fat and strong.
After yesterday’s chemo session, we stopped at Rocky’s Corner for a late lunch, where I had The Rocky’s Sub, an 8-inch monster filled with turkey, salami, mozzarella, tomatoes, and dressing, with a side of hot Italian peppers. I ate half the sandwich and the fillings (but not the bread) from other half, but could not finish the French fries. We brought them home, along with the significant remnants of mi novia’s small pizza. Cold pizza can be a delicious way to start the day; if I’m lucky, I might be able to persuade her to let me have a bit. As I think back over the last several months, I confirm for myself that my cancer is always on my mind, even when feeling strong and energetic. That is probably natural, but it does not do much for my state of mind. My moods tend to rise and fall with my thoughts about the condition. When I can muster the “it is what it is” attitude, I feel better; lately, though, that is more difficult to do.
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The cat is an attention-seeker, but only on her terms. It’s almost as if, when she senses a person’s need to focus on something else besides her, she feels a need to cling. But when the person wants to engage with her, she is aloof and unwilling to tolerate the person’s presence. I wonder whether she is imitating my behavior…or whether I am imitating hers?
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The cup of espresso is empty. I think I’ll satisfy my thirst with a berry-flavored Propel Fitness Water. I have my doubts about its effects on fitness, but I like the flavor. And it’s easier for me to drink than plain water. Why?
Linda, that is the best attitude, without doubt. The key, I think, is keeping it up. Thanks for the comment, and for stopping by.
John, I have noticed the same thing with the grinding teeth, since I made 75. I hadn’t noticed before then, but it could’ve happened earlier. I have to tell myself to relax all the time. A lot of it probably has to do with the woes of the world today, but I’m trying to engage with self to enjoy a more peaceful life, because at the end of the day, it is what it is.
Bev, you probably have no idea how much I appreciate your advice from experience. I will take your advice…in fact, I’ve already begun to. It surprises me how much strength I have lost by becoming so damn sedentary! Thanks, Bev, for your words of encouragement.
Yes, do work on keeping your weight up. Don usually drank about 4 Boosts per day in addition to whatever food he also ate. I made smoothies with whole yogurt and hemp protein powder added in, and some other stuff – I forget what – but it all added some calories. And yes to exercise as well. I think I mentioned this earlier on, but if you have some small barbell weights — even 1 pound are good — keep them where you like to sit and pick them up and do some arm exercises a few times a day. The other thing that is helpful is one of those rubbery “resistance” exercise band thing. Hold onto the end loops with your hands and put a foot on the middle and bend and then straighten your knee to stretch and exercise your leg — do a few of those a few times a day when you’re sitting around. Anything to keep your muscle strength up, and also you’ll tend to breathe deeper. One other that requires no weights — just lift your arms making an arc as your hands meet over your head and take a good inhalation as you raise, and exhale as you lower your arms. That’s a good one for bringing more oxygen into your lungs and blood while also giving your shoulders, arms, back and chest some exercise. Don’t try to do lots of repeats in sets — it’s just as useful to do 5 or 10 of some movement a few times a day that trying to do 20 or more all at once. It’s also helpful to do some kind of little “walk” around your house — like, walk from one end of the house a couple of times in a row (or more if you’re up to it — just to be doing some walking so that you keep your strength. Really, what you are trying to do when you do such exercise is to keep up body strength in a low impact way when you aren’t physically up to doing a lot of normal moving around. Don’t think of it as a work-out, but more as a maintenance thing.