Thinking Instead of Sleeping

I thought it was time to get up, so I got up. That will teach me to think. It was just shy of 4:30. But by the time I realized how early it was, I was beyond going back to sleep.

That was two hours ago. I’ve wasted those two hours on trivial matters that shouldn’t merit any time at all. So it goes. Two hours, irretrievably lost, that could have been spent on something productive, if only contemplative reflection. Instead, they were wasted on worry about things over which I have no control. Madness. Wasteful madness.

Life would be quite different if we could bank hours instead of frittering them away in useless pursuits. I assume life would be different. But maybe not. Maybe we would make the same mindless choices. So, here’s another idiotic waste of time: playing “what if” in a game over which we have absolutely no control. Madness.

The truly maddening aspect of wasting time is that it’s a choice we need not make. We could choose, instead, to pursue our dreams; you know, rather than satisfy ourselves with dreaming them. I think we hesitate and fail to act because we assume our dreams are beyond our capacity to achieve them. Or we are afraid of trying and failing. Or we worry that our dreams might not last; we convince ourselves our dreams are just temporary fantasies we’ll grow out of…or come to realize they weren’t our dreams at all. On occasion, I read about people who invest years to become doctors or lawyers, only to discover the time was spent pursuing drudgery. Maybe that’s why I have always tended to avoid going all out in pursuit of career dreams; I wanted to avoid the realization I invested my life in meaningless drivel. The realization came too late.

The time is almost seven, so I will stop this alternate time waster and drink my coffee.

About John Swinburn

"Love not what you are but what you may become."― Miguel de Cervantes
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