I’ve decided I’ll take a break from my blog for a while. That decision comes after another hour or more, this morning, of attempting to write and failing miserably. Over and over, the words that slip from my fingers seem dull and lethargic. They seem unwillingly compelled. And they are.
Lately, I’ve had to force myself to write, which is reflected in the quality—or lack thereof—of what I’ve written. Perhaps the problem is my hope to be funny or profound or clever when I don’t feel capable of humor or profundity or quick-wittedness. In spite of knowing I’m not in a mood suitable to decent writing, I’ve pushed myself to write, hoping to overcome the obstacles in my way but knowing that was fruitless. Instead of just laying off, though, I’ve insisted on writing something, only to acknowledge later the uselessness of that endeavor. So, in lieu of humorous, my words are colorless. I’ve attempted to be profound and achieved superficiality, instead. I’ve tried to be clever and failed.
The underlying reasons for this state of affairs are clear to me, but not worthy of explanation except to myself in the privacy of my own head. When my issues resolve themselves in some way or another, I’ll try my hand at writing for (semi)public consumption again. In the meantime, I may direct my energies toward compiling the best of my writing into a themed collection, or a series of collections, that with a bit of editing and care could comprise a readable compilation. I don’t think I’m being overly boastful in saying that I’ve written some pretty decent material that’s worthy of inclusion in a “collected works” that some people might find engaging or useful. I just don’t think I’m writing decent material now. But perhaps, if I overcome the obstacles standing in my way of late and, while doing that, can generate a spark of enthusiasm about what I’ve already written, I can get back on track.
I shall see.