Ode to Edward

A is for Arnold who choked on his ego.

B is for Barney killed in Oswego.

C is for Carmen who fell off a bridge.

D is for Dennis who got locked in a fridge.

E is for Everett burned up in smoke.

F is for Felicia whose skull shattered and broke.

G is for Garret who stabbed himself twice.

H is for Hortense who was frozen in ice.

I is for Isaac, impaled on a spear.

J is for Jackie who died of stark fear.

K is for Karla who drowned in a bowl.

L is for Lawrence who fell into a hole.

M is for Mary who choked on fish bones.

N is for Norman, crushed by pine cones.

O is for Opal who dissolved in hot caustic.

P is for Paul, murdered by an agnostic.

Q is for Quincy who perished at sea.

R is for Russell who fell from a tree.

S is for Susan smothered by birds.

T is for Terry who inhaled some cheese curds.

U is for Ursula, stabbed in a bar.

V is for Violet who was hit by a car.

W is for Warren buried in asphalt.

X is for Xavier who died in an assault.

Y is for Yasmin who succumbed to a cough.

Z is for Zander  whose head was cut off.

[With apologies to, and deep admiration for, Edward Gorey and his The Gashlycrumb Tinies.]

 

 

About John Swinburn

"Love not what you are but what you may become."― Miguel de Cervantes
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