I Wish I Knew

If the world were meant to be comprehensible, we would be able to climb inside others’ heads to determine what they really think. We would be able to discover, for example, whether people who seem serene and unflappable and genuinely gentle are, in fact, angelic. The skeptic in me (which, admittedly, sometimes take over my entire body) says many (and possibly) most of those people are as artificial as chartreuse lipstick.

But, of course, I cannot climb inside others’ heads. Even people with whom we’re close, like siblings or spouses or life-long friends, hide themselves from the world. At least that’s what I believe. Perhaps I believe that because it’s true of me. I don’t dare reveal all aspects of the self that’s me; I might be arrested or murdered or shunned.

While maybe it’s just me, I strongly suspect I’m not alone. I think most of us hold inside of us emotions or thoughts that we simply do not want to share with the world at large. We might want to share tiny fragments with a very few people, but we don’t want to risk their reactions; we don’t know what’s inside their heads. It’s a Catch-22 situation. I don’t want to be judged, but I have no problem judging others. But the reverse is unacceptable. Uh-huh. I wish I knew the answer. But I don’t even know the question, so this investigation may take longer than anticipated.

 

 

About John Swinburn

"Love not what you are but what you may become."― Miguel de Cervantes
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